We Are What We Are (Clexa Medic Prisoner AU)

They Love You

After the incident, the night was quiet. It was nearly silent save for the cricket's chirps and the occasional owl hoot. Off in the distance, Clarke almost swore she heard wolves howling. But in the silence, the loudest sound was her thoughts. Her mind was racing with what would happen to Finn and Bellamy. She knew that they had done wrong and needed to be punished, but Clarke still didn't like this outcome. It didn't seem right to her. It was moments like this that she didn't quite like the Commander, but also understood that she had to make her people happy. She couldn't do what she wanted, even if she had the power to.

It didn't take long for the Commander to fall deeper into sleep. Clarke was empathetic to her exhaustion. Beating a leader was hard and Lexa had to do it on an even greater scale. After about a half hour, she could hear Lexa softly snoring.

The faint snores were enough to snap Clarke back into the moment. That's when she looked over to the bed and saw the woman sleeping under a heap of her furs. Her green eyes were peacefully lidded and her face seemed free from the tension it held during her waking hours. Her loose brown curls were splayed around her head on the fur pillow. Clarke felt bad for staring, but she felt a need to admire every little thing about her before this moment slipped away. From the way her curls bounced in front of her nose every time she exhaled to the way she grabbed hold of the furs in front of her to wrap herself around them. Everything about this sight mesmerized Clarke.

Clarke was used to seeing Lexa as the big bad Commander and her beauty was always intimidating when paired with her armor and the way she held herself. But now, she looked so young and fragile. That's when she wondered how old Lexa really was. At the moment, she looked no older than Clarke or any of the other delinquents but everyone spoke of the work she had done for years. How old had she been when she became Heda?

Her train of thought was interrupted when she heard Lexa stir gently. She looked over to see her face twisted up in pain. Lexa kicked out and a tear slid from her eye. She was crying.

Clarke didn't know what to do. She considered waking her up, but she didn't want to scare her or interrupt her rest. It wasn't until her movements became more frantic and the tears more frequent that Clarke made her way over to the side of her bed. She placed a hand on her shoulder. Green eyes snapped open and frantically searched the room around them.

"Shhh, you're okay. You were just dreaming. It's okay," Clarke murmured to the frightened girl before her.

Lexa's eyes then settled into Clarke's and her face softened. "I apologize for waking you."

"Don't. I haven't been able to sleep yet. Too much to think about." Clarke smiled sadly.

"I understand," Lexa responded. She was still laying down, looking up at Clarke. "You're doing what I did when I first became Commander. You're worrying when there's nothing you can do right now. I promise to do what I can for your people, but if we want a cease fire and possibly an alliance, my people will have to have justice and-"

"Lexa?" Clarke interrupted.

"Yes, Clarke?"

"How old were you when you became Commander?"

Lexa sighed. She sat up in bed and motioned for Clarke to sit down. She sat on the floor. "You can sit on the edge of my bed if you wish." Clarke then moved to sit beside the Commander on her bed. "I was 13 when I was called to duty. Some Commanders are younger and some are older. It all depends on the circumstances."

"13 years old," Clarke whispered to herself looking down.

Lexa watched her in confusion. "Why do you ask?"

"Because our leaders are elected but they have to be over 18. Most of the time, they're much older than that. I think your the youngest true leader I've ever met."

"Well, you're about my age. How old are you?"

"I'm turning 18 in about a week or two. How about you?"

"I'm 20."

"So you accomplished a whole coalition within 7 years?"

"Less than. It took me about 4 years of non-stop work," Lexa smiled. She was proud of herself. She accomplished something that no other Commander had been able to. She had united the 12 clans.

"Well, I fully understand why you're people love you so much."

"They respect me. I wouldn't say they love me," Lexa corrected. Love wasn't a word to just throw around.

"No, they love you. I see it in the way they look at you. The way that they bow before you but even more, the way they speak about you in your absence. I have heard nothing except how wise and strong you are since arriving at the infirmary. Of course there were other things to speak about, but Nyko get the need to elaborate on how lucky I was that the Commander had interest in my people and was going out of her way to help the innocent. You've done so much good for them and they love you for it." Clarke smiled at her. "They don't just respect you. It's more than that."

Lexa didn't know how to respond to that. She always tried to see her people as a collective. It helped her to not make biased decisions, but now, she couldn't help but recall individual faces and voices and circumstances. This Skaikru woman managed to evoke a great pride in her and Lexa felt overwhelmed by it. She needed to go back to sleep, but she knew she had to say something to Clarke.

"Thank you, but nothing compares to how much your people love you. I should've known keeping you away from them for so long would have bad consequences, but I couldn't send you back just yet. I hope you are reunited with them soon."

"Thank you."

"Well, you better get to sleep at some point. You have a lot to do at the infirmary tomorrow. And I have a lot to do for my people as always."

"Reshop, Lexa."

"Goodnight, Clarke."