They Both Die at the Start

Chapter 10

06:10

LIDIA

After leaving Christians grave, we head to the subway station. We don't have a destination but the subway station can lead to anywhere so we decided that would be a pretty good place to start.

I've always loved the subway. Most New Yorkers hate it- they complain about the smell, the crowds or how its never on time. I think its amazing. When I was younger, I thought it was literally magic, how it teleports you from one place to another; then, once I got a bit older, I loved the freedom it provided. So many times I laughed with friends, sat nervous on my way to a date with Christian, read through my textbooks the morning before a test. I've always loved the subway for its endless possibilities.

We reach the subway station and I check my watch- 6:15. At this time in the morning, the station is brimming with commuters, all with the same briefcase and cup of black coffee. Boredom shows on their faces. For them this is just like any other day, another day at the office, full of paperwork and filling cabinets and such.

Unlike me this isn't their last day to live.

We shuffle through the crowds, me holding Penny, Aimee holding the folded-up buggy, Lucy holding each of our free hands in an attempted to not lose each other. Just in time, we hop onto the subway and barely have time to grab onto a handrail before it starts rattling along the tracks.

"So where are we going?" Lucy says, slightly out of breath.

"I had an idea actually," Aimee answers, "We should go to the empire state, it's such a great way to see the city. I know it's what I would want to do on my end-day."

They both turn and look at me. Clearly, I'm the one who gets to make all the decisions.

"Sounds great Aimee, I've never actually been, I always thought it was just a tourist thing, but today it sounds pretty good."

07:15

Luckily, once we arrived, we had found a decker queue jump system- no decker wants to waste time standing around tourists in a stuffy lobby. The one catch was that I had had to sign a mental health waver-thing saying I had no intentions of jumping off. I guess you couldn't be too careful.

We'd had to leave the buggy at the bottom of the building but Lucy had volunteered to carry Penny, giving me time to think in the lift up, just how many floors it was and how the elevator could shudder and fall any second.

Seeing my panicked expression Aimee had tried comforting me, "It will be okay, nothing's going to happen I promise," even though we both knew there was so way she could.

But being here, at the top, the view is worth all of my worrying and the couple hundred dollars it took to get us here. I can see the whole city. Hundreds of tiny apartment blocks, skyscrapers reaching as high as we are. I spot all the landmarks I grew up around; central park, the Chrysler building, the new world trade centre, the statue of liberty.

Up here in the sky, time seems to stop.

But of course in the real world a hundred and two stories down, clocks keep ticking and time moves on, causing a gorgeous golden sun to begin rising.

It appears over the horizon, baking the entire city. The sky becomes alive with vivid oranges and reds, the few clouds light up with colour. It takes my breath away and I edge closer to the side wanting just to be a part of the golden glow.

The barrier stops me and for a split second I think about jumping.

Surely there can be no better last view than this?

I could finish it all right here, right now and be with Christian in the golden picturesque sky.

But reality grounds me, I refuse to do that to Aimee and Lucy, currently standing a few metres back as near to the building as can be, speaking in whispered tones. I wonder if one of the has a fear of heights and once I see how quickly Lucy's breathing and the red anxiety across my face, I know I'm right.

She came up here to support me, despite her fear. I step back from the edge and rush over to hug her. I take Penny off her, holding in my arms another reason to live as long as the day will let me.

Aimee puts her arm around Lucy's waist, physically supporting her and we head to the elevators. Before we step inside, I steal one last look at the endless painted sky.

The dawning of my last day.