I Heard A Rumour That We're In Love // Lams (HAMILTON)

Chapter Two

A/N: Hello folks! How are you? There's nothing really for me to put here except please leave comments! I love feedback. or just say hi!

Trigger warnings: This chapter includes implied child abuse, substance abuse and includes a panic attack. 

John's POV:

"You're John Laurens," he gasps, staring at me.

"The one and only," I say, plastering a sarcastic smirk onto my face. I got a reputation to upkeep. "And you are?"

"Uh, I'm Alexander Hamilton. I've heard about you."

"And you've already formed opinions of me based on what you've read on a gossip site, correct?"

"John," Laf tries to stop me. I gesture for Alexander to answer.

"Um, I- uh, I'm sorry-" his eyes flicker down to my hands and I know he's seen the bruises on my knuckles, assuming I've already gotten into a fight with another student. I yank my sleeves down over my hands, leaning towards him.

"Here's a tip: Don't assume shit about me. It'll get you nowhere and it'll just piss me off." I know my hair is turning a shade of red, it does that when I'm angry, but I can't find it in myself to care.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm by it. I guess, just, when you read that sort of thing, you unintentionally form opinions. You're friends with Laf, right?"

"Yes."

"If they like you, then I can push anything I might already feel aside and get to know the real you. If that'd be okay?"

"Ah, but what you think will still be in the back of your mind, and the second I do something to support those rumours, you're going to revert back to those views, and then we're back to square one, aren't we?"

"John please-" Laf protests, but falls silence. The tension in the cart is so thick I can practically taste it. Alex's gaze flickers between me and Laf. I can see the silent question in his eyes. Wondering why on earth Laf would be friends with somebody like me. I've been asking the same question for four years. I swallow and stand, gently tucking Azul back into my pocket.

"I'll leave you guys to it. Don't want to put a downer on your meeting." And before anyone can reply, I've left the carriage.

With fumbling fingers I slide the lock on the door shut, resting my forehead against the cool metal as my shoulder shake with silent sobs.

Fuck.

I finally had a chance, a chance to start fresh with someone new, make a new friend, someone who wasn't Laf or Herc. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but sometimes I want to be something other than a third wheel.

Maybe if I hadn't gone and fucked it up I'd have something worth sticking around for.

Someone who doesn't look at me with pity in their eyes.

Someone who I'm not a charity case for.

Wouldn't that be nice?

And I ruined it. I just had to go and get all riled up and lash out at him. The poor kid looked scared half to death.

I don't mean to get angry at times like that, but who can blame me? All I'm known as at this school is a troublemaker, a stoner. The kid who comes to class hungover (when he comes to class) and gets into fights constantly because he doesn't care.