Eternal

Chapter 5: Size

Chapter 5

It had been three days since Daxton and I had shared that unexpected kiss. I wasn't avoiding him per se, but I definitely didn't want to see him. Had the kiss been amazing in every way, shape, and form? Hell yeah! But had I asked for it? Hell no!

My life was centered around people taking advantage of me and using me. How was I to know that Daxton wasn't the same?

You should know because after you slapped him he didn't even try to hit you back! Bry countered my thought.

Yes, I had slapped him. Yes, I felt so guilty that it was literally eating me alive inside. That was one of the big problems about why I didn't want to see Daxton. I was not a violent person. As a matter of fact, violence is the only thing in this world that I could say I truly hated. The kids who bullied me in the orphanage? I didn't hate them, I was both sad and disheartened with the choices they made. The adults who did nothing to make my life easier, but went out of their way to make it harder? I didn't hate them either, I just hoped they got a wake up call and treated other people with more love and care.

It was very, very hard for me to hate someone and some things. But I hated violence, and I had used violence, so I, therefore, undoubtedly hated myself after I had realized why my hand was stinging. And Bry was right, Daxton hadn't even tried to hit me back- he didn't even yell. He simply gentley moved me to the side, opened my front door, and left.

That was when Bry had started howling. It went on for literally hours. Of course, my heart felt like it was being painfully ripped in half as I saw his truck reverse out of my driveway and speed off, but I was good with that kind of pain. I deserved an award for the amount of mental and emotional pain I could handle. My tolerance level was high, so it scared me that while Daxton was away I didn't want to eat, sleep, or even read- my absolute favorite thing to do in the world.

I decided to run myself ragged instead of think about the reasons why I felt this way. So, as I put my very last box of stuff away in my room, my heart beat painfully at the thought of what I was supposed to do now that my house was finished.

I had been into town only once more since Daxton left and that was to pick up my new mattress and some groceries to hold me over. The thought of letting Bry out to sniff around the area had occurred to me but I didn't want her taking over and going to Evander. I knew that they talked through the weird mental link they had, and Bry was always complaining to me about being apart from him.

He's our mate! Our life! Why don't you want to see Daxton and Evander? I love them, why can't you? Bry whined in my head as I laid down on my soft bed, curling up in my blue fuzzy blanket.

We don't even know them! Every time we tried to see the bright side of people we always ended up getting burned. I-I don't want that to happen with Daxton. If I love them, there's a bigger chance of them breaking me, Bry. I have to protect myself- protect us.

But he's our mate, Bry sniffled and I sighed. Daxton seemed like a good guy, honestly he did. But I got through life without forming any relationships except with Mrs. Charlotte and she was dead now. I had only known Daxton for around twenty-four hours and it felt like he was ripping my heart in half when he had driven away. What would happen if we got to know each other, to love each other, and he left or worse- died like my last companion had?

My stomach growled and I was grateful for the distraction as I walked to the kitchen. I ruffled through my refrigerator and pantry but came up empty handed. There is no way I'm going into town. What if I see him?

I sighed as I realized my only option. We're going hunting, I grumbled as I made my way to the back door.

Bry howled and I rolled my eyes, throwing open the flimsy screen door and scanning the woods surrounding my house. The yard wasn't enclosed by a gate but instead open to the forest that started about twenty feet away from my abode. I quickly stripped and let Bry out although I kept him on a tight leash. There was no way I could fully wolf out because I knew that Bry would go to Evander.