Misconception(On Hold)

Insert 6-Made of steel

"The human race tends to remember the abuses which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds however leaves scars."
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I'm so hurt and pained. Everyday of my life, I live in pain. My dad is a drunkard, my mum is very sick and my younger sister hates me so much.

She is so scared of me because she thinks I'm evil and I hate my family for no just cause. I knew that even if I told her all I passed through in the house, she won't believe me because my parents were the perfect set of parents to her.

Our family was never like this. We were never like this.
Many people calls me the black sheep of Rollins family. I make my mother weep.
I cause her pain. My dad caused all this painful feelings for me. He has never loved him. The last time he showed me love, I was very young perhaps maybe when I was 4 or 5.

I smoke, I drink, I drug and go home whenever I like.

Sometimes,I go to the bar my dad goes to drink so that he can see me. I started drinking because I couldn't contain all the pain in my heart. I'm 24 years old. I was one of those pupils who always scored f.

My highest grade in school is d. I dropped out from school because of my low IQ. Well I don't exactly have a low IQ according to a doctor's examination. What I actually have is dyslexia. It made me find it difficult to read. W looked like M, U looked like N. Everything looked different to me.

Adelaide is such a strong girl to be able to go to school, work, come back home and take care of my mum.

I get scared whenever I see her. Adelaide is the exact opposite of me. She is a straight A student while I'm a straight F student. She loves her family while I'm here hating them. She doesn't battle with depression while I'm here sulking and in pain.

I get scared when I see her because seeing her reminds me that I'm a failure.

Seeing her makes me see that I'm daft, useless and wouldn't amount to anything. My dad and mum always tells me that.

I can remember my mum starving me for 2 days because I got D which was a better grade compared to my other grades. That year, my sister did it again. She got straight A and they bought her a princess like gown and cooked her best food while I was locked up in my room hungry.

I had repeated classes, faced detention while my sister has never faced one.

I told my parents that I wanted to learn a trade but they refused. They said that I wouldn't be the one to destroy the reputation of the Dennis family.

I started smoking and drinking so as to ruin the reputation of my family.
Alas. My dad is also ruining it himself after he lost his precious job.

I'm so happy my mum is very sick because she doesn't deserve to be called a mum.
I'm so happy my dad got kicked out of work because he never really cared for me.

I'm happy my sister hasn't lost it. I'm happy that she is still strong no matter the pain. We both have one thing in common. We are both addicted to pain. Though I don't amount to anything, I'm happy that I'm able to add to the pain of my mum.

I'm happy that whenever vagabonds sees me on the road, the hail me. They call me "king of the street" sometimes they call me "made of steel". The reason they gave me that name "made of steel" is because I've been beaten, arrested, insulted but I'm never moved.

I command respect here. This people are the people who genuinely loves me. Zach my best friend is the only person who has seen me in my vulnerable state.

My parents think I wouldn't make it in life alas I'm now a king of the street. I have slept with more than 60 girls none of which I compelled.

I now know how to break protectors, hack security system, steal from big stalls, sell and buy drugs.

I have lots of tattoos in my body. Most of which I have when I finish a particular task or if I just felt like it.

I'm the guy that every parents tells their kid to avoid. I'm that boy that is devoid of emotion.

Now, I can say go and some goes, I can say come and someone comes.

No one except my friend dares call me by my name.
I'm now a king of my own.

My sister is oblivious to the things my mum and dad did to me. She has misconception about this. She thinks I hate my parents because I'm evil.

She was too young to know all what I faced. My parents never bullied me in her present. I remembered when she was 5 and I was 13. I had failed again. No matter how I tried, I always failed.

My dad locked me in the basement of the house and flogged hell out of me even if flogging a child was child abuse here in America.

They kept me there for a whole day without food. When my mum came into the basement, I was kind of glad.

"Mum please I'm sorry. I try a lot but I still fail. I promise not to fail anymore.
I'm so hungry mum. This place is dark. Mum please forgive me of my sins" I begged.

"Dennis you are always a failure. You are the one tainting the image of this family. Can't you be like your younger sister? At her age(age5) she can read properly, count numbers and do other things but you(13) you can't even spell three or four letter words without stuttering. I won't give you food. Don't you dare tell your sister what happened if not, we would deal with you."

When she released me, I found out that they told my sister that I had gone for excursion.

I don't need any of my family.
Fuck them all! To hell with my dad. To hell with my mum, to hell with sister! To hell with education! To hell with good values.

I'm now a king of my own. I'm made of steel and I'm gonna make sure my family regrets all they have done to me.

(Zayn Malik as Dennis Rollins)
What's your view about this chapter?
Do you feel for Dennis?