Finding You

5: Bubbles

SAM:

I hear a loud grunt, someone falling and then something smashing against the floor. I run back and see Arian on the floor in a fetal position, his hands clinging onto the back of his head. 

I gasp, crouching to the floor to help him. He pushes me away with a bloody hand, the blood leaving a wine-coloured imprint on my shirt. 

"Let me help you, Arian", I whine.

"You're the one who did this! I don't want your help", he growls, anger emanates from him. 

This was hopeless, Arian was bleeding out and we were running out of time. I felt like I couldn't stand, my knees unwilling to hold me up as I shook uncontrollably. Mum's shallow breaths echoed in the room.

I muster all my strength and run into Gran's room, I frantically wake her and try and explain what had happened even though I'm not sure I understood it myself. 

She runs over to mum and begins yelping in fear, pulling Mum's chest into her lap. 

I call the ambulance and run back over to Arian, big tears fill my eyes creating small wells. 

"There's no point in being emotional now, you're the one who wanted this", he says coldly, his voice completely drained of any love for me. The veins in his neck jut out and I can tell its taking all his might to taunt me.

"I didn't... I would never-", I cried out as sweat enveloped my neck and forehead.

"You've killed mum and now you're definitely going to kill me", he torments me. 

My eyes shoot open and I sit up almost straight away. Sweat glues my t-shirt to my back and I clutch the sides of the matress. 

I just about catch my breath before spewing up last night's dinner into the bin next to my bed.

I hastily wipe my mouth with the back of my hand before walking into the bathroom to wash my face.

"It's just a nightmare Sam", I whisper attempting to console myself.

I place my hands on the sides of the sink. The sink takes my weight as I stand there and take multiple deep breaths. Sweat is powdered all over my face making some hairs stick to my cheeks.   

I brush them aside and vigorously splash my face with bitingly cold water. For the last few years, my nightmares had become more intense and almost always ended with me being sick; like I still couldn't stomach the fact that night had actually happened. Time was meant to make my memories hazy so that I would forget but with every nightmare, the memory of that night became more lucid and piercing. 

I return to my room, tie the bin bag and go and throw it outside. 

When I walk up the stairs, I see Arian standing in front of my room with his stick. The front door opening and closing must have woken him.

"You okay?" he asks with a concerned tone.

I walk into his arms and he returns my hug instantaneously. 

"It was a nightmare", I explain softly.

"I'm sorry", he replies almost with hint of shame whilst stroking my head.

"It's okay, it wasn't too bad", I add.

He unconvincingly raises a brow but before he can ask me any questions I interrupt.

"I should get to bed, I have classes early morning tomorrow", I squeeze his hand before we both return to our rooms.  

I crawl into my bed again and pull my knees to my chest. My duvet drowns me as grab onto my legs tighter, making myself smaller. Ferocious, hot tears pour out of me as I shake silently with guilt. I almost start choking but I stop myself.