Deserve Better

Just A Test

My life was dependent on a test. I knew I wouldn't be Amity. I thought that Dauntless was a possibility, or maybe Abnegation. It wouldn't be hard for me to leave Amity. I didn't smile, I didn't laugh, and I don't make friends. I was a wolf that was judged by its pack for being the runt. Yet I was the leader.

I now sat at a table that the Abnegation volunteers set up before the test. The other Amity boys and girls sat next to me but never spoke a word to me. Good, I only would have scowled at them anyway.

Slowly my fellow class mates disappeared into the rooms and came out pale with sweaty palms. My name rang through the room. "Caroline Baker." I stood up nudging by some Amity Boys.

A Abnegation man with clean brown hair and sharp green eyes told me to follow him. For a moment I can picture myself in Abnegation, blending into the plain gray clothed people. The image fades quickly however and I return my face to the cold expression I almost always dawned. The world was cold to me so i was cold in return.

He lets me into a room with a dentist like chair surrounded by mirrors. He wouldn't look at them. I don't blame the Abnegation. I didn't like mirrors either, they show what a monster the world had made me into. "What is your name mister?" I ask him. His eyes darted up to mine. "Alan Samuels." He said rather quietly. The room falls silent once again until he hands me a small glass. "Drink this." I take it and observe it. I wasn't smart enough to be Erudite. "What is it?" I ask. "It's a serum I'm not really sure the details." I nod and drink it. The last thing I process is blacking out.

When I awake he was gone. The room was dim and silent. The mirrors looked as if they were there but as I stepped near them my hand went right through.

"Choose." A sharp voice said. I turned around. Now baskets sat on large podiums made of stone. Cheese sat in one a knife in the other. Choose." It demanded. I reached out at the same time grasping both the knife and the cheese. I picked it up. "I choose both." The voice grunted in irritation.

A growl came behind me. I turned around a large German Shepard bounded towards me. I held out my hand to give it the cheese. The dog morphed into a small puppy before my eyes. Then a small Amity girl, no older than 6 or 7 bound towards the puppy. "Puppy!" 'It's a sim.' A voice inside me said. She screamed. It growled and transformed once more. It bounded towards her and she ran away now in tears. The cheese was gone leaving me one choice. I bounded after the dog, one thing I was, was fast. It leaped up to the girl. "No!" I yelled and tackled it to the ground stabbing the dog and standing up. The knife ripped through the fur skin and flesh like butter and blood blossoms from the many puncture wounds I inflicted. The girl covered her eyes and sobbed. "Sorry kid," I say wiping away a stray hair, smearing blood in the process. "Life's not all flowers and cupcakes."

Then I was outside with a man. He was missing an eye and was reading a news paper. It had a man on the front with blue clothes on. The man looked at me. "Do you know him?" He asked. "No." I say. "You do!" He cried. "You do! You could have saved me." He stood up. "You could have saved me!" He strangled me. I noticed his clothes weren't matching. He was factionless. I kicked him. "I said I didn't know him!" I say and I run as the factionless man chases me.

I shoot up in the chair dripping in sweat. I look at my hands relieved to see that there is no blood in them. I see Alan is still in the room. He seemed more pale than before. "What are my results?" I say pushing away a strand of my brown hair. "Abnegation and Dauntless." Alan said. "You are divergent." I must look puzzled. "You mustn't tell anyone. Divergents are powerful and aren't affected by the simulations." He escorted me to the door and opened it for me. "Tell no one. I'll enter you result as Abnegation." I nod. I liked serving people. That is what I would choose tomorrow. I would choose Abnegation and live plainly. I walk out and smile at Alan before walking back to the table. I only smile occasionally he was kinder than most so he deserved one.

The bus roamed to the wall where we hoped on an Amity supplies truck which we needed to take us the rest of the way. The bumpy gravel road was something I would miss. If I were a road it would be this one. It was muddy and harsh and cold. Like me. The road was called split street. Before we fixed it two years back the pavement was split down the middle.

Then I started to think. Abnegation or Dauntless. I knew I was brave. The only reason I was selfless was likely because I do not like anything about myself. If I could be someone different I would be happy. But I wasn't.
I was just me.

Then I thought of my parents. If the Dauntless police had gotten there sooner maybe they would still be alive. I still remember the way my mother screamed as my fathers body hit the floor. I remember how the blood spurted out of their throats and poured out of their mouths. I remember almost being next.

I know all these things should make me resentful towards the Dauntless but it drives me towards them. It pushes me to be the best of them. But if I was Abnegation I could forget about myself and my problems. I wasn't either thought, I was divergent.

When I changed I would become a different person. I would change my name. I would be someone better. I would be Dauntless and I would be the top.