Deserve Better

Freinds?

"You've got the day off." He said taking the IV out of my arm. "How are we friends you don't even know me?" I say. he looks at me, I challenged him. "You'll undoubtedly make it into the top ten, leadership most likely. And plus, your strong and kinda hard to figure out, coming from an Ex- Erudite that's something." I laugh. "You were one of those Erudite goody two shoes. No wonder you left." "Well you were an Amity hippy." He points out. I scoff. "I was never one of them." "Neither was I." We we're silent. Maybe he wasn't so bad.

"Why do I interest you?" I break the silence like glass. "I don't know, you just do." He said. "Was today the fear landscapes?" I say. He nods. "Yeah." "What do you see in yours?" I ask. I realized this was very personal. He glanced at me. "Your curious for a Dauntless." "Come on I barely know you." He still says nothing. "Make a deal tell me one thing and I'll tell you something about me." "Okay but tell anyone and I'll let peter do whatever it is he wants to." My eyes widen. "Okay." I say. "I'm afraid of failure." He mumbled. "That's not that odd Eric." I say. "It's your turn." I pause. What would I tell him? Okay I got it. "I watched my parents be brutally murdered at age 5." His eyes widen. "They almost got me to. I have a scar on my back whoever they were threw a knife at me." I say quietly. "The Dauntless police didn't get there in time." I say. "That's why you chose this?" I nod. "Sorry I'm not good with emotions." He said. "Nor am I and I'm kinda new to this whole having friends thing, hows it work?" His eyes widen even more. "But you were amity!" He said. "That doesn't mean people liked me." We must both feel uncomfortable because he said. "It's 7 I can run your fear landscape and you won't be behind." "Okay."

The walk was spent in silence. He walked into the room and shut the door. He went and got a needle ready. I sat down and shifted nervously. "I'm going to put this tracker in your neck okay?" I nod gripping the handles to my chair. "One minute. Last fear is the worst okay." I count down. "Face your fear or fix it. Unlike the sim you'll know it's not real." I felt more relaxed. He wouldn't know I was divergent.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1,

The last thing I was were Eric's cold eyes.

I stand up. I don't know where I am. Then I look down to see cloths that don't match. A blue shirt and black pants. Then I see an army of factionless running towards me. One of them didn't have a they were all bleeding from the eyes and chanting, "welcome to your home." Over and over. How did I fix this? I screamed an ran. No no no no. I couldn't be factionless. "Stop no!" I screamed then I realized I had to face it. Slowly I turned around. I closed my eyes. I took a step towards them. Then another and another. I opened my eyes and sprinted towards them. There hands felt dead clamping down on my warm skin.

Then every thing faded. Now I sat in Amity headquarters. I saw my mom and dad, "Mom Dad!" I ran over to them. 'This' I think 'is a sim.' I can't help it though. I have my mothers brown hair and brown eyes but I have my fathers nose face shape and lips and skin tone. I cry. I was so happy.

When I reached them my mother pushed me off of her and so did my dad. "You failed." They said. "You changed to Dauntless!" My mother yelled slapping me. "I thought y-you would want me to b-be happ-y." I sob. I wanted my parents back so badly. I got a taste of it when I saw them. "Your such a disappointment." My father shook his head. "If you tried harder maybe you'd saved us, or at least made friends." Then he slapped me. I cried out. "Stop!" I sob. She pushed me over. "FAILURE!" Not real I remind myself. 'Eric said this was all in your head remember.' "Mistake!" My father kicked my ribs. I let out an odd strangled noise. I tried to slow my breathing. "Disappointment!" In. " traitor!" Out. More kicks and things happened but I blocked them out.

Then I was in my little shed in amity. I missed the little house. But nothing more. I ran my fingers on the wall. The air was split with electrical currents. Then I heard the loud boom of thunder. I hid under the blankets. "KRACKKKK." It echoed all around me. I whimpered. I stand up. I don't like the noise, so I block it out. I find ear muffs and put them on. The noise muffled and I can breath once more.

Suddenly, I am in a field, with tall green grass with gold hinting at the tops. It reaches up to my knees. I reach down to touch it but i can't. I realized I can't bend down and my hands and feet are bound with ropes. Smoke starts to rise from the platform. It fills my nose and mouth traveling into my lungs. Tears fill my eyes and I try to break free from the ropes. I gasp but find nothing. 'Smoke' I think. 'Fire!' I reach out and let the ropes fall off. I quickly untie the other ropes and leap free. I didn't suffocate!

Suddenly I am in a crowd. I've never liked people, but large crowds make my chest fill with anxiety. I have never been in a crowd this large. We are in the hub. I've only been there twice but it has never been this full. I am sure. I panicked. How do I clear a crowd? I think. How do I clear a crowd. 'I'm a leader.' I think. I make my voice tough as possible. "Every body clear out!" I shout they all start pushing me. We were cramming like sardines in the elevator. I stood there going down the many many floors. I hated the feeling of my body's pressed up with the others. It was so cramped I could let my legs up and still be the same night I was now. The elevator clears out and I feel the sweat I have formed die away.

Now I am in Dauntless. What am I doing here? Then I realized this was the corridor Peter tried to rape me in. My throat tightened and tears filled my vision. I have to watch what happened. I see my body there knocked out cold and I see the blood glistening in my hair. Eric must have washed it out. That was an odd thought. I cant hear anything due to the blood in my ears but I see Peter attach his mouth to my neck and see Drew's hand, but When I see Eric he just looks and laughs at me, and nods at Peter. My legs give out. "Breathe." I give myself commands. "In." I take a breath. "Out."  I continue.

I wake up. Eric was taking the wires off my head. "You did well sunshine." I feel my eyes fill with tears. He turned when he didn't hear my smart remarks. He looked uncomfortable. "Your okay." He said. "First times always the hardest." "You didn't stop him." I whispered. Emotions never registered on his face but behind his eyes hurt passed. "YOU LET HIM TOUCH ME!" I screamed. "It was a sim Caroline." He said. I calmed down and wiped my eyes. "Sorry." I say. He nods. "It's fine."

We sit there awkwardly. I continue to cry. He awkwardly pat my back. "Your time was amazing." He said trying to break the tension. "6 minutes." I smile and the tears stop. "Yay." I say with a little enthusiasm. He let himself slightly smile. He looked kinder when he smiled. It made me feel better too. Maybe he really meant we were friends. Maybe.