Surviving The Blues

17

Hanging. What exactly does hanging mean? It means behaviors and  activities my father would definitely disapprove of. I can hear him at the back of my mind saying, "Jouner, watch how you carry yourself when you outside." 'Hanging' wouldn't be something he would approve of me doing especially outside.

Everyone is laughing at a joke told by Kyle. I crack a slight smile not wanting to draw attention of others. I am still considerate about my image even with five white males with me.

"You can laugh, you know?" Jammie draws attention to me. I am standing in the middle of all the guys.

Glendale number two on the edge somewhere and I am in between Micheal and Jammie. There's a slight space between all of us as we all walk to our next activity. We are coming from the ride Space Moutain which they basically forced me onto. I regretted I gave in. I sat next to Glendale number two who seemed to be the one who sat alone due to their odd number.

I was nervous and instantly regretted getting on the ride when it started moving. The moment it speed up, I let out slight screech and my eyes flew shut. I didn't even care about what my father would say about screaming or crying, but I was on the bridge of losing it.

"Why did you agree to  come on?" I heard hin say.

I was thinking about possible dying on the ride. "Leave me alone." I am sure he could hear the fear in my voice because soon after he grabbed my hand and I squeezed his tightly for the reminder of the ride.

I was happy when the ride was over. I got out as fast as I could, but almost fell over. Jammie grabbed my hand and steadied me while laughing slightly. I ignored Glendale number two after the ride and he ignored me too.

"How is it that you've never been to an amusement park?" Micheal asks.

"Seriously. Coney Island? Six Flags?"Alex asks.

"No and I don't understand the fascination. It's beyond me why people would pay for this. So risky."

"Thrill. It's all about the trill." Alex answers.

"Thrill? It's thrilling to cross the street. It's thrilling to ride a horse. Ride an elevator."

"Alright grandma, is reading thrilling too?" Kyle jokes. I don't reply. "You find reading thrilling, don't you?" They laugh.

"That is in no way humorous. Reading Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Ralph Ellison and more brings a whole new meaning of thrill to my life." There isn't a greater reason to give praise.

"Yawn." Jammie says.

"I haven't even read books by any of those people." Micheal says.

"Of course you haven't." Glendale number two says.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"That's you guys are uncultured swine." He answers.

Books by Black authors aren't mainstream in school education. In fact, many are banned in most schools. For instance, the 'Bluest Eye' by Toni Morrison isn't allowed in the typical classroom. It is one of the most banned books. It's sad because it talks about oppression of women and racial oppression. It also focuses on how the men in some women's life violate them or oppress them.

I palm my lip in. I guess Glendale being the number two rank isn't for nothing. I am not going to pretend it isn't surprising that he knows I named all Black authors. "What he meant to say was the high school system is flawed." I don't look at him. "Food. You guys were suppose to lead me to entrance where I was going to eat and wait until we left." I change the subject.

"The madam is hungry." Jammie says.

"I didn't want to say anything cause you guys would've called me fat."Alex says.

"Cause you are." Micheal slaps his shoulder and they all laugh. He isn't fat. In fact, if Alex is fat, then I guess I am obese.

"Shut up, bro." Alex blushes.

"It's cute you're embarrassed." Michael puts his hand over Alex's neck and lowers it as he ruffles his hair.

"Luke." Alex calls out.

"Now behave children." Glendale number two says nonchalantly. He seems to act like a parent among his friends. The balance of all their crazy.

"Misbehavior is punishable by corporal punishment." I slip up and I face palm inwardly.

No one says anything for a bit and I am nervous. "As long as you are the one giving it to me." Micheal answers and they of course laugh.

"I would be delighted to administer it to you." Again, another face palm. They laugh at this.

We are soon at some random food place and we go in. There's a line, so we stand in line to wait. They are taking about random things and I actually listen in a bit and smile a bit. I zone out in between, slightly letting the events take me away. I snap out of it when it's my turn to order.

Being the miser I am when it comes to my fathers money, I gulp at the high prices. I choose to order fries without a drink because you don't need a drink just for french fries. I groan when I realize my money is in Riley's bag. I didn't actually bring a purses or a bag because I hate the feeling. I didn't have a place to hold my money, so she offered to hold it.

"I am sorry, can I cancel that?"The cashier looks irritated and I want to cower. My father would go crazy if he say this.

"Whatever." She says.

"I'll pay for her order with mines." Glendale number two steps out from behind me.

"Don't-"

"What can I get for you?" The cashier's attitude changes when Glendale number two steps in front of me. She seems to stand up better and fixes the bored and disinterested look on her face. She slightly swipes her hand over her blonde hair and smiles slightly. He tells her his order and doesn't seem to notice her change. "Is that all?"she asks him.

"Yeah." He mutters.

"That'll be $30.50." She says and smiles again. Her customer service skills seemed to have improved in one minute. He pulls out his card and pays, before walking to the section to wait for his order.

The other guys are still ordering. "Why did you do that?" I ask, after catching up with him.

"Do what?" He has his phone out as if to tell me not to speak to him.

"Pay for me when I told you not to."

"You said you were hungry. If I didn't do it, one of the other idiots would have. I just happened to be behind you." He seems to dismiss me.

"But distinctly told you not to." I press the conversation. "On planet earth, that means you shouldn't disobey my wishes."

He groans. "Look Camera Girl, if it is such a big deal, pay me back." He says and I don't say anything. "Now that this is settled, maybe not speak to me. Thank you." He turns away from me.

I narrow my eyes. The feeling that made me do drastic things in the past is pulsing through my brain. It is nullified when the others start coming toward us one after the next.

Glendale number two exhibits the behavior one would expect to see from Glendale number one. I guess the isolationist could have the traits of a stereotypical bad boy. He is an isolationist after. However, at times he exhibits traits of a normal human being who at least haves some compassion for others. At other times, he's the opposite. They Glendale brothers don't uphold their expected social roles.