Surviving The Blues

3

Regret. I am currently looking for the thing called regret and I can say with all certainty, I can't find it. Please, again, I know this is out of my character and I think I may have turned off my code switch for a second, but don't say it is because of PTSD.

"Faith!" Yes, it is Riley that breaks the silence. Everyone had just been standing still like statues. I had managed to speak two times and all he had said since I spoke was his profanity filled outburst. I couldn't even muster up the remorse for adding some moisturize to his man bun. Who knew high school age boys wore man buns still. I thought the quiff haircut was hip nowadays. I mean they currently call it a fade. I guess he even needs to be different in hairstyles. "What are you doing?"

"Riley, can't you see I am having a conversation with Mr. Glendale here? I was letting him know that I didn't want any drugs or to 'spread my cheeks' as the kids would say. He just wasn't listening so I had nurture his brain cells with some liquid, isn't that right Glendale?" I ask for his input.

"So this is your crazy ass friend Ry, what happened between us, happened a while ago. I can barely remember, but you send this crazy bitch-"

"Do not even flatter yourself Glendale, this has nothing to do with her. I need to speak to you."

"Are you crazy? I could have any girl beat your-"

"I am really not about that life, but could we go somewhere and talk? There are a lot of people watching and this is between you and I."

"I am not going anywhere with you you crazy-" I ignore his petty little outburst and pull his arm. He doesn't move.

"I don't mind holding hands since you are a little shy. You can curse me all you want in private, let's go." I link my fingers with his. I must admit, my outgoing, interactive, taunting and may I dare say, daring behavior is out of character for me. I am more polite and non-confrontational. I don't dump carbonated beverages on people's heads. I don't hold hands with males I don't know, much less males in general. I don't as they would say 'cause scenes'. The only time I would assume I would be the spotlight is volleyball and they don't let me play anyway. This is not the Journer I am.

I push him up against a locker, trapping him from escaping. "You are weird for that. What are you doing bro?"

"I have Ap Environmental with you and you are my partner for the project. We-"

"Let me stop you there. I don't go to that class for a reason. I don't do my own work."

"Don't interrupt me, that's rude." I've probably interrupted him maybe three times since we met, but who's counting? "If you don't do the project with me or come to class to present, we both fail." He flips us around and my back roughly hits the locker. This should trigger me. Why doesn't this trigger me?

"Listen here." His finger traces the edges I laid this morning. The hair God gave me to make swoops. The hair hard to stay down. The hair I tried millions of products on and finally got to stay down. I am fuming. "I don't care about your project and I will not be a participant. If you ever try anything like that again, you won't like what happens to you. Have a good one." He taps the locker above me and leaves.

You are probably wondering what he looks like now that I've been up and personal with him. Blonde hair in a man bun you know already. He has gray eyes the kind that gives you Husky or camera flash vibes. His face looks hand curved especially at his cheeks. His cheeks go inward, reminding me of Angelina Jolie.  It's like built-in dimples, but not dimples. His bottom lip is plum and bigger than the top. He has hooded eyes and perfectly shaped eyebrows. His nose is like a straight like, skinny and without a point. It's more of a button nose. I will never know what girls see in him.

He wants me to be scared of him, but I won't be. Luckily, we have almost two months for our project. He'll come around by the time I am finished with him.
____
For a week now and some, almost two weeks, I've been gathering intel on my partner. Getting him to do this project has taken up a huge chunk of my time to daydream or get triggered time. I've asked around about his routine, watched him and I've decided that to get him to give in, I must disrupt his flow.

I know for a fact that after school on Tuesdays, he gives out drug orders. I have volleyball practice so I can stay without my father being mad. Today, he's all mines.

"Yo, Glendale, bro what's popping'?" Yes, I know slang. My father is still the most hood person I know.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Didn't I warn you?"

"Yes, and I was so scared?" I push out my bottom lip. "Then I remembered that slavery was abolished in 1865 and that there's no need to fear white people anymore. Come on, be woke. It's the 21st century."

"Dark humor, how cute. Now get lost." He seems mad.

"Cute? I haven't been cute since I was four. I think I can make you deal."

"Get lost, I don't care." He does a handshake with a student passing.

"I won't get you busted for your drug ring and you be the partner I dream of. Deal?"

"No, get lost." Another transaction.

"In front, the boy's locker 2:30 to 3 on Wednesday. Gym, 9:30 to 10:10 Thursdays. Here on Tuesdays, 3:10 to 3:25. I have more. Plus I know you are selling weed to the male basketball team and helping them pass their drug test. Aren't they on a bad losing streak? Let's not forget the wrestling team. You are selling them steroids. That's considered cheating."

"You have no proof." He says, shaking hands with someone else.

"That's where you are wrong. I do my research and I gather evidence. I have pictures and I know where you get your drugs from. So you have 10 seconds to give in."

"Go away."

"10."

"I don't care." His face is straight.

"9, if you say so."

"I do."

"8, let's just see."

"Go tell."

"7, I know you can't get busted."

"I don't care."

"6, your father is running for senator and you need to show a good face."

"Go away, still don't care." He's mocking my counting voice.

"5, he's loaded and can cut you off."

"Go."

"4." I fold my arms and stare him down.

"3."

"2."

"1 and 0. I thought you knew how to be logical." I turn around to leave. Damn, I can't believe that didn't work. Well, I guess back to the drawing-

"Wait." He jogs up behind, stopping me. "If you give me your evidence, tomorrow after school, we'll go to my house to start."

"No, no rich boy. I make the rules. I'll have to check to see if tomorrow is good for me. You'll get the pictures when our deal is over meaning the day we present and get an A." I smile at him. "I knew you made good choices." I tap his face two times and start walking away. "Nice doing business with ya." He thought I was dumb.

___
Now that's how you blackmail. You gotta come with the recipe receipts and that's on periodt with the t.

Anyway, purple_sky15 is out. Byeeeee.