BALCONIES AND TEARS
I never wanted to kill myself.
That is the only thing I knew honestly and truly.
I was too much of a selfish coward.
I remember how I told my grandfather he isn't supposed to worry about new clothes, when he is going to die soon anyway, when I was five.
He did.
It broke everyones heart.
I didn't deserve the feeling of a broken heart. I didn't care. I was supposed to feel nothing and be damned. Then why did it hurt so much?
I alway thought of pain like a way of freedom.
I loved crying, it made me feel in control.
The agonizing pain in my chest that was tugging my heart harshly was a grim who was freeing me from life.
I hated being numb.
It was an empty world I was living in.
I loved crying on balconies.
It made me feel so small and unnoticable.
My tears could fall all the way down to the ground like raindrops. I was on the top of the world, but felt down. It made me feel small and strong.
It's strange how combination of two even stranger things could create perfection.
Maybe that was why we were so imperfectly perfect with Olivia.
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Loving Stars
RomanceFEAUTURED BY @StoriesUndiscovered, October 2022 Dreams flow like a river in my mind. They are being torn appart by the claws of the devil. She is the devil. It is a late evening and venom is dripping from her bitter lips along sweet words whispered...
