Loving Stars

second chapter: I will love you.

Sometimes when I sat in the corner of our kitchen, surrounded by darkness and loneliness I closed my eyes and imagined I was in kindergarten again and my only worry was that I was never going to see my best friend again.

I am not in kindergarten however. I am in London. In a smelly apartment on the East End, with torn wallpapers marked with childish drawings.

I felt like Alice from Alice and Wonderland. Drowning in my own tears. The only difference was that she was heading to an exciting adventure and I was heading to pain and...

well, just pain.

She is in our bedroom fuming and breaking our things. I question if they are ours anymore, or does she own them like she does my soul already?

She calls me Lena.

I am not Love anymore.

Just Lena. Plain, boring and broken Lena.

Olivia...

I used to say her name with a dreamy sigh. If you would look in my eyes you could see what she meant to me. You could see the clouds in my eyes, flowing through the sky of my eyes. Soft, colorull and curious. Olivia was all that and much more.

Olivia was like cotton candy clouds. Her kisses were sweet and soft. Olivia smiled innocently and I could feel the words I wanted to say melt in my mouth like the sugar she was.

When the night came however, she became dark and fierce. Like stormy clouds that were waiting for the tormenting lightning.

Her kisses were no longer sweet, but her bites were painful and bitter.

My tears were salty and hot against my lips. The only warmth she could give me, because when it was dark in our lives all the warmth we had melted on our tongues and we swallowed them with hurt.

Olivia and Lena. Darkness came for us and even if the sun shone through our windows, we saw nothing.