Loving Stars

eith chapter: I will love

Olivia didn't love me anymore.

The realisation broke my soul. It shattered it thousands of pieces, glittering in the air, falling to the ground like rain. And I knew, she was the owner of every dust of remainings of my broken heart.

For the past few months when you casted those sweet, wide smiles my way I didn't feel my heart beating. Perhaps I lost hearing after all those screams she cursed me with or she ripped my heart already.

I knew you would never do that.

I saw you how you helped an old man cross the road because his hands were too shaky for his cane to support his weak legs. I remember how I thought, perhaps you make him weak in the knees.

I remember the tenderness it made me feel when you looked up, smiled and waved at that sad figure sitting on the balcony. Your hat nearly fell off and your dimples were so beautiful I wished I could be down there to touch them.

And then I remembered how it felt when she smiled. How it felt to touch her cheeks and truly feel her laughter. I remembered the way we leaned our forheads on each others.

There is a thin line between a memory and a reality.

And as long as we were alive, the memory of my loving Olivia would always haunt me everywhere but my dreams.

I truly didn't want to believe, my star didn't shine for me anymore. I thought maybe I really deserved the metal taste in my mouth. Or the bruises on my stomach. Or the sore throat from screaming Olivia's name with broken pleads.

I was talking to you afterall. I laughed when you said that the man said his wife swoons over guys like him nowadays.

She just didn't want to lose me, I thought.

I understood, I thought...

By the time I realised, Olivia was bruised and confused in mind it was late.

The knife was already touching the skin.