𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 | 𝚜.𝚛

𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖈𝖊𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉

• narrator pov •

spencer felt bad for the way he treated y/n but he couldn't break up with her just yet he still loved her and he would feel guilty but there's her who had more of his love that once belonged to y/n
he didn't love y/n as much as he once did but he couldn't break what they have because there was still a part of him that loved her ...

____

spencer was antsy to get out of the BAU because he had a dinner date with her
But to the genius' despair, he had forgotten what today was actually

His third year anniversary with y/n
But it looked like he couldn't care less because as soon as he finished his paperwork and waited till mostly everyone had gone home he went straight to the bathroom to fix himself up and went to the elevator to go meet at the restaurant he had a reservation at
While y/n was at home crying because spencer had forgotten their day and her plans now ruined but spencer never thought of her once
He was too nervous about meeting her and what could happen
Be had completely forgotten he had a girlfriend waiting at home for him
Spencer ended up leaving the restaurant because of a little setback but he didn't leave empty-handed he had a book that was a gift from her

His smile was genuine when he saw what it was and when he opened it his smile got even bigger
He put the book inside his knapsack and took a taxi back home and on the ride there he couldn't stop smiling
He felt like a teenager again
He felt like someone who was in love
He felt like he had zero care in the world
He felt like he finally had someone to love again that understood him
He felt like-
He felt like he had a girlfriend... one that wasn't y/n who he completely forgot about which was surprising with his eidetic memory

When the taxi halted to a stop he paid as he got out
He had a little pep in his step only to remember who was waiting for him in his bed
His smiled dropped right away
His whole demeanor changed
He felt guilty
He felt dirty
He felt like the worst boyfriend ever
He felt like he was giving forced love
He didn't know how to feel right now

Spencer got ready for bed and laid next to you but he turned away and laid as far from you as possible instead of curling into you and hugging you for dear life

And what they both didn't know was how things would only go downhill from there...

____

• you're pov •

When I woke up I was surprised to realize how warm I felt because usually spencer would be gone already to work but I just laid here on his chest reveling in his warmth to only fall back asleep

I was abruptly woken up by a ring of a phone only to be followed by another ring when Spencer woke up from the ring he noticed me on top of him and glanced at his arm that was around me and he took it off of me like I was hot lava though I used him moving his arm to go answer my phone and sit on the bed facing away from spencer as he still laid there talking to I presume was Derek and acting like everything was of the ordinary

~ Alex Blake calling ~
"Hey Alex'' I said into the phone
" Hey y/n" Alex answered back but I could hear she was holding back on something but was trying not to say anything
" is spencer there ?"
" yea, why ?" becoming now skeptical
" oh no reason...uhm Hotch needs you in his office when you come in" sounding a bit suspicious
"oh okay... well thank you for telling me Blake see you soon"
"see you soon," Alex said
~ call ended ~

"odd" I whispered to myself and starting to feel a heavy feeling in my chest

when I turned around I found spencer starting at me but not with his usual loving stare no this was a blank stare like he was staring at a wall
"Spence ?" I asked
" hm" he responded coming out of his daze
" you good, do you need anything?"
" no I'm good" he paused "I'm gonna go take a shower"
"Okay," I said getting up and going in the kitchen to make two cups of coffee
couple minutes later Spencer came out of the room and we continued our regular routine of one of us in the shower as the other makes coffee

I handed home his cup he said thank you and I left to go shower but to only be washed with a sudden wave of emotions that I couldn't pinpoint the names of and it made me feel like just crawling in a ball right on the floor and crying out of frustration but I didn't
I finished showering and getting dressed to only leave the room to see an empty apartment

• normal pov •

you let out a sad sigh and trudge over back to the kitchen to get your coffee and keys and went on your way to work
it was a Sunday
and spencer would always leave early on a Sunday and at a specific time too which you were quite suspicious of and every Sunday those little voices in my head would come out to play their merry song of questions about spencer and ask if he could be seeing another

usually, you would drive yourself and spencer to work
but being in a car with him- hell even a room, there was a tension that could be cut with a chainsaw

when you entered the bau and walked through those glass door you noticed Spencer wasn't there
and that blake was looking at you weirdly but was trying to cover it up with a newspaper she was reading

when blake had found out that spencer was talking to another girl on pay phones she started to worry for you because you were a girl who would give your whole heart to someone in a relationship and that's what you did you gave spencer your whole heart and now the waters are getting shaky more and more because at any moment your heart can come down and shatter into minuscule pieces never being able to be put back together

So when you went to your desk to put your stuff down and asked a random agent if Hotch was in his office, he was and you went along your journey
you knocked and heard a faint 'come in'
And as soon as you walked in Hotch looked up from his paperwork and asked you a question you weren't quite expecting and those little voices in my head came back to make its play