Favorite Oblivion

Chapter I

Love has no perfect timing. Hindi mo alam nandyan na pala. Yung tipong hindi mo aasahan. Yung tipong akala mo joke lang. Ayun pala, siya na.

I IMMEDIATELY turned off the television after hearing the last lines from the lead's monologue. The movie was great but I cannot daydream more of it. Baka mahuli pa ako ng papasok dito at kung ano na namang isipin nila sa panunuod ko ng Romance series. I massaged my temple when I saw the time indicated at the digital wall clock placed above the door. The longer hand was pointed at ten while the shorter one was at seven. It's late. Maybe that's the reason why I felt a headache. O baka naman dahil lang sa dalawang oras na pagtutok ko sa panunuod. Nonetheless, I should go home now.

Akma na akong tatayo pero dahil sa pagbukas ng pinto, mabilis akong napatingin doon at napahinto. An unfamiliar face awkwardly smiled at me. Wearing her all white uniform and cup, she gestured towards me while scratching the lobe of her left ear.

"Bago ka lang dito?" I unconsciously raised a brow of mine but the moment I realized it, I tried to calm. Hindi ko pa rin pwedeng husgahan ang bawat nurse na pumapasok sa opisina ko kahit ilang beses na akong naloko.

She looked away, shifted to her left before gazing back at me again. "D-doc, a-andito pa po pala kayo? Sorry po, hindi ako kumatok. A-akala ko kasi nakauwi na kayo," she murmured.

I wrinkled my forehead as I noticed that she did not give me a relevant answer. Alam ng mga doctor, nurse at kahit ang maintenance pa na hindi ko nakakalimutan na bukas ang pinto bago ako nag-a-out. Even if she's new, she will get my instructions since I am one of the head doctors of this hospital.

May balak na naman ba ang nurse na 'to?

"Anong kailangan mo?" mahinahon, propesyonal at walang halong inis kong tanong sa kanya. But the truth is, I don't want to talk to her. It's late and I don't want any disturbance at this moment. Lalo na sa panahong pagod na ako.

"E-eto hong kape. Sa inyo na lang po. Alis na po ako." When she went out of my office, I immediately stood up. Dala ko ang tasa nang maglakad papuntang lababo saka binuhos doon ang mainit na kape. I stretched my back as I went back to my table.

Kailangan ko nang mag-ingat sa mga ganitong klase ng modus. Noong tinanggap ko dati ang kape na dala ng isang nurse, nagising na lang ako na nasa isang kwartong hindi pamilyar at walang saplot. Disgusting!

Diring-diri pa rin ako tuwing naaalala ko ang mga pangyayari na 'yon. Hindi lang iyon isang beses. Hindi na ako virgin sa edad na twenty dahil lang sa mga mapagsamantalang nurse.

I did not know how to properly comprehend the logic of being devirginized during those days. I know virginity is just a social construct but it matters to me. I wanted it for the person I will spend my life with.

However, I had been into relationships before but it did not work out. They just invested in a relationship because of excitement but not commitment. How can there be love if you just wanna touch each other day and night? I mean, those can be done but there should be love. Damn. I should not be thinking about this disgusting stuff. Past is past and my memories about it should never last.

Yeah, life. People were too pushy of making people they were not just to satisfy their false success. It takes time.

Yeah, time. I remembered the time. Kailangan ko na ring umuwi. Gabi na at baka mamaya abutin na naman ako ng madaling araw dito't hindi na naman ako makakauwi. I checked my seat and table to avoid missing anything before I leave the room. I removed my coat and unbuttoned my long sleeves to pull it up until elbows.

I was about to walk out when I was stopped as I held the knob. I turned my gaze, reaching the sight of my table.

Dr. Isaac James Javier - Pulmonologist (head of Condez Hospital)

I couldn't contain my emotions whenever I will see that label on my table. Wala na yatang mas sasaya pa kapag naabot mo ang pangarap mo. Pero hindi pa ito ang huli. Gusto ko pa rin magkaroon ng sarili kong hospital, yung nakapangalan din sa 'kin at yung kasing tanyag ni Dr. Benjamin. I perfectly planned everything so I think I deserve this. I can say that I am successful now and I'm still on the stage of feeding-my-satisfaction.

Hindi naman ako puro pasarap sa buhay. Marami rin akong naisakripisyo maabot lang ang lahat ng 'to. Hindi ko na pwedeng pakawalan ang bagay na hawak ko na, maliban sa isa.

Yung bagay na hindi ko alam kung paano hawakan dati...

Pero ano pa bang hihilingin ko bukod sa sunod-sunod na natatanggap ko? I think I have a perfect life. I have nothing to ask for. Ano pa nga bang kulang? I can live with my career and maybe not with... love? Hmm. Not my thing. It was never part of my priorities.

"DOC ZAC, hello po!"

I smiled to a pharmacist here in our hospital as I got pass through some people but I didn't remember her name. Who can memorize all their names, huh?

"Zac, alam mo na ba ang balita?" Napatingin ako sa lalaking biglang umakbay sa 'kin. He fixed his sunglasses as he smirked.

"Balita?" sagot ko kay Grant, mentee of Dr. Benjanin. Matagal na kaming magkakilala. Magkaibigan pero mas magkakumpetensya sa maraming bagay.

"Na mas gwapo raw talaga ako sa 'yo?" He chuckled as he added weight on my shoulders. This guy is too clingy. No wonder he was labeled as Doctor Perv.

"Saan mo naman nakuha ang fake news na 'yan?" Nginisian ko siya. "Never knew you are that gullible," dagdag ko pa.

Instead of seeing a frown in his thin lips, he smiled heavenly. "You can't ruin my mood, huh?" panunukso niya sa 'kin na inilingan ko na lang dahil mukhang alam ko na kung bakit. "Nakama ko na naman yung bagong doktora sa ER. Grabe! Ang hot talaga!" I was right. Halos manginig pa siya habang kinukwento 'yon.

"How was it?" I just asked.

"Galing, galing." He playfully shook his head. "Mukhang anghel pero sa hospital bed, dadalhin ka talaga sa langit," puri niya pa.

A smile slipped from my lips but I bit my lips to hide it, but again... you can never fool a Grant Poseidon Giligans.

"I saw your smile! Geez! Crush mo 'no?" pangungutya niya.

"Bakit ako?" depensa ko.

"So siya? May crush sa 'yo? Stop fooling around. Hindi 'yon magkakagusto sa pa-virgin!"

"E bakit noong isang gabi... nevermind." It almost slipped from my tongue.

Nakita ko kung paano manlaki ang mga mata ni Grant. He couldn't speak. Iniwan ko na lang siya sa kinatatayuan niya at nagpasyang lumabas na ng ospital.

Inakalang siya ang nakauna sa crush niya. Anghel. Psh. That must be joke. Oo, mukha siyang anghel pero katulad lang siya ng ibang babae kapag walang nakakakita.

Mapagsalampa... mapaglasampa... mapagsampalan...

Basta! She made a move the day before yesterday. Bigla na lang noon hinimas ang... nevermind.

Magugustuhan ko na sana siya kung hindi lang siya nag-first move. Of course, I still prefer someone who doesn't initiate sex and someone who treats sex as something sacred and pure.

To admit it, I actually pushed the doctor and explained that. She just laughed at me and whispered—makakahanap ka rin ng ganiyan at ikaw mismo ang hahabol sa kanya. That's not your type, Zac. Fetish mo lang 'yan.