Over the edge

chapter five

End of flashback....

He never knew why he pushed people away. He knew he didn't mean to but he still did it.

If only he could understand.

Understand why he said he would give up the world for the people he loved but did not do so.

It hurt so much.

Being at cross roads.

Having to choose between what he loved and what he had worked his entire life for.

And as much as it had hurt, he had still chosen.

But it was the wrong decision.

The worst decision he had made in his thirty two years of existence.

Sighing, he put the shirt back and took out another one.

He put it on and grabbed his phone and keys.

He stepped outside. It was slightly  drizzling but he didn't mind.

He needed to clear his head.

He started off with a jog, passing by his neighbours.

All houses here were really huge and beautiful. He wondered if  the people inside felt as though their house was soulless as did  he.

He had pondered over moving out and selling the house severally but he always pushed away the idea.

The house held too many memories for him to sell it.

He picked up his pace as the rain started increasing.

He listened as his feet pounded against the pavement.

There was something about the rain that always seemed to calm him down.

It might have been how the drops fell onto the ground, splashing against it. Or how cold they felt against  his skin. Or how they drenched his clothes.

There was a beauty to rain that he never understood, maybe even a mystery.

He was now heading into open land, where palm trees scattered around  and there was sand every where.

The beach.

Who didn't love it?

He did. Used to anyway.

Now it was yet another reminder of another broken promise, another broken heart, another dream he crushed.

Twice, he had confessed his love on different beaches and twice the promises had been broken.

He slowed  his pace.

The rain was still there, more than before and no one else was there.

He was breathing heavily.

He took out his shoes and dug his toe nails into the sand.

It  felt good, almost relaxing.

He walked towards the ocean and stood at the shore.

He stared at the ocean waves as they crashed against the ground. Rising in speed and momentum, gaining strength, heading toward land as if they were going to break through only for them to crash back into the ocean.

He chuckled bitterly.

They were just like him.

He had commited to Adam with so much vigour only for him to back down at the last minute.

Guess what his mother told him was true

"You'll always be a coward if yoi can't even defend your friend from those bullies when you know you can."

Yeah, the truth hurt like a bitch.