For You I Will

She's Not My Girl.

John and Gwen laid in bed for what felt like hours. They sat in silence mostly not needing to say nothing at all and purely enjoying the comfort of one another. John had been with many women since returning home from war and he thought it all would help him get over the death of his Martha. But all it did was make things worse and made him realize how much he missed the comfort of a wife and a mother to his kids.

Gwen laid naked, her head and a hand wrapped around Johns chest. John laid with a hand behind his head and his other arm wrapped around Gwen's waist. Neither knew of them knew what this was but they both felt they needed whatever it was. The comfort of one another is all that kept them sane in this world anymore.

"You know Gwen, if you ever want this to stop....we don't have to do this. I don't want to hurt you." John sighed looking up at the ceiling. Gwen craned her neck looking up at him. John was a man of few words but his eyes said it all. He was somewhere else in his head. 

"Are you growing tired of me, John Shelby?" Gwen asked him. 

"Its exactly the opposite you see. I love every moment I spend with you Gwen. Even when I am not with you, you are all I think about. But in this life of us Shelby's it wouldn't work, whatever this is because if you got hurt because of me...I couldn't live with myself." John groaned. Gwen didn't know what to say. She knew he felt it too and they both were so afraid of damaging one another and had apparently just settled with whatever this is.

Gwen wouldn't fight it though. She had lost everything she had ever cared and loved for. Her parents, Danny, her nephews and she would not lose John. So whatever this was they had going she would continue. Caring from a distance and having sex is what she would do. But she herself had to admit the thought of John with anyone else would hurt her very deeply.

"Its fine John. You don't have to explain love. I should of never put you in this situation to where you feel like you have to explain yourself to me." Gwen said before pushing off of John and jumping out of bed. John quickly sat up staring at every inch of Gwen. Taking in every curve, every scar of the woman's body. She was utterly perfect in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" John asked his voice shaking. Gwen smiled letting out a laugh. She slid her slip over her body and looked in the mirror fixing her hair. He pushed off the bed and walked behind her. Still naked he rubbed against her and trailed kisses down her neck. Gwen closed her eyes and let out a moan. She threw her arm above her head reaching back rubbing Johns face. They looked and seen their reflection in the mirror. The two of them together as nothing merely more than just friends. 

"John, lets go to the Garrison. You said something about Tommy and Arthur wanting to see you. I sure miss them, those two." Gwen smiled. She bent down picking up her dress and pulling it up above her waist and John walked to the corner collecting his scattered clothes from across the room. 

The two then dressed in silence. They would shoot looks at each other from across the room. Looks of need and want and confirmation of what they both knew but would apparently leave it unsaid. At least until the time was right.   

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The Garrison was packed considering it was only 3 in the afternoon. Filled with smoke, booze and men singing at the top of their lungs. Gwen couldn't help but to chuckle as she sat between Tommy and John. The walk to the Garrison was quiet between the two of them and Tommy and Arthur were more then welcoming when they seen Gwen arrive with there brother. 

"Jesus Christ, Tommy. What in the world made you let them sing? They sound like they are strangling cats out there. " John chuckled taking a sip of his beer. Gwen nudged his shoulder.