Wait- NO! and other stupid tales

Eugene and Hamuel (Brother Bonding)

"Cass, there's nothing in the closet. What did you even want to show me?" Eugene asked, tapping his foot. Cassandra held in a laugh. "Oh, there's something in there. Go take a look," she said, gesturing for him to step into the walk in closet. He stepped in, looking around. Putting his hands on his hips, he frowned. "I'm telling you Cass, there's nothing in here!" he said. He felt a hard peck on his foot. "Ow! Dang it, Hamuel," he complained, looking down at the crow. It had been following him around for days now, and it was starting to drive him nuts.

The crow started flapping around in circles. Eugene face palmed when he tripped. While he was distracted, he heard the door close, then a click. His eyes widened as he realised he had been locked into the tiny space. "Cass?" he called through the door. "Yes?" Cassandra called back from the other side.

"Did you just lock me in the closet!"

"Yup."

"Why!"

"Because I thought it would be funny."

"What! Why would you think that! What part of this is funny!"

"The 'you being trapped in a closet' part."

"CassAndRa, let me out of here, or so help me, I will-"

"Oops, I can't hear you because I'm walking away," she sneered.

"Wait! No! Cass, you can't leave me in here with this bird!" he shouted. There was no response, telling him she had left. Leaning against the wall, Eugene sighed. Hamuel let out a caw. "Well, I'm glad one of us is enjoying this," Eugene commented. Hamuel stepped around in circles, pecking the ground every so feet. Then he actually started to peck Eugene's feet. "Will you quit it!" he said, yanking his boot off to throw it at the bird.

Hamuel looked at him stupidly, then stuck his head in Eugene's unused shoe. Eugene glared at him. "Of course," he sighed. Digging around in his pocket, Eugene looked for his lock pick. Once he had found it, he held it proudly in his hand. "I've got it!" he cheered. He got to his feet and started on the lock.

"Just a few more seconds and we'll be out of here," he smiled. Hamuel flew up and came to rest on Eugene's arm. He slid upside down, hanging like a bat from his "brother's" arm. In doing so, the bird scratched Eugene with his talons. "Gah! Ouch!" he exclaimed, shaking of Hamuel. The bird flopped on the ground in an awkward position. Blood came from Eugene's cuts. He glared at Hamuel before turning back to the lock.

Suddenly, Eugene felt a warm presence on his head. Glancing up, he saw Hamuel roosting comfortably in his hair. The bird flopped around, trying to get comfy. Eugene gasped. "My hair! My gorgeous hottie hair!" he shouted, grabbing Hamuel and chucking him.

Meanwhile, outside the closet, Cassandra stood not too far away, listening. Eugene's girlish shrieks could be heard all down the hall. Cassandra chuckled. "Totally worth it," she grinned to herself.

Back in the closet, Eugene ran his hand through his hair, collecting any stray feathers. Then he readjusted his strands to look just as perfect as it had been before. "Will you quit being annoying!" Eugene scolded Hamuel. Then he wrenched the lock pick through the lock. "I've almost got it," he said determinedly. Just as he was about to do the last step, Hamuel swept up and ate the pick. Eugene gasped. "No! Ugh! I hate you! Not really you, but CassAndRa. I definitely hate her," he grumbled. The crow just squawked in response. Then he started to choke on the lock pick. Eugene face palmed.

Somehow, Hamuel was able to regurgitate the pick, then swallow it again in a long cycle. Eugene didn't even want it anymore. Now it was just nasty. Eugene sighed. "No wonder my dad went a little crazy and started speaking all his thoughts," he commented.