Happy Thoughts (Frerard)

Chapter 4

Frank's POV

 

"Oh, uhh, okay then." I looked up at Gerard and caught his eyes. Nervous, I had to look away. What had he meant, that he didn't want to be distracted by anything but me?

I really didn't mind if he smoked. Hell, I smoked. I may not do so often, but I still find myself craving the nicotine from time to time, no matter how many death sentencing chemicals it was laced with.

"So where should we go, Frank Iero?" Gerard sipped his coffee as he faced me with raised eyebrows, awaiting an answer.

"Why are you addressing me by my full name?" I asked curiously.

Don't ask questions, you idiot. You shouldn't even be here. Why the fuck are you letting yourself socialize with people who will only hurt you?

Gerard wasn't people. People made me feel uncomfortable, they're the reason I didn't leave my apartment unless mandatory. People are unfriendly creatures who want nothing concerning my "unstable" psyche. Gerard was none of those.

"I just like it, your name. It rolls off the tongue nicely."

"Oh okay, Gerard Way." I gazed up and smiled teasingly.

Gerard laughed. "Okay, I can see how that would be annoying." He turned away taking another sip of his coffee. "So, how about we just walk and see where it takes us?"

"Sounds good to me." And with that, the two of us strolled down the sidewalk.

I hadn't gone out on a busy day in a long time. I avoided it, because the crowds made me uneasy. I would feel the animation of the city wrap it's cold fingers around my throat, only allowing shallow breaths to pass.

Yet being there at that moment with Gerard, my anxiety was at a minimum. I felt almost unaffected, just as I would if I were sitting in the isolation of my home. What was it about being with Gerard that eased my nerves? I secretly watched him in fascination.

For a little while, neither of us talked. But it wasn't the awkward silence that seemed to occupy the time between topics in daily conversations--no, this was good silence. The kind that helps relax nerves and lets you enjoy someone else's presence without the necessity of speaking to them. It was not, in any way, the very least awkward.

We had walked for about ten minutes, in fact, before Gerard spoke up.

"So," his voice cut through the silence so swiftly it nearly knocked me off my feet. "Did you ever take care of that thing you were procrastinating?"

"I, uhh…yeah, I suppose…" Had I? I did speak to Melissa, but it hadn't accomplished anything.

"That’s a plus!" Gerard tossed his long empty coffee cup in a trashcan before abruptly stopping. He turned and faced an old brick shop that was cramped between two modern business buildings.

A sign hung from the awning in front of the humble store.

Cherry Records.

"Seems like a cute little record shop," Gerard smiled, turning towards me.

Without discussing it, Gerard held the door open and followed me inside. The store seemed much larger from the inside, and appeared to stretch back nearly five times its width.

"Wow, not so small on the inside!" Gerard laughed as he walked pass me, seemingly mesmerized by the place.

"Hey guys!" A welcoming voice echoed from the back. "I'm the owner, if you guys have any questions just let me know."

The owner was a short guy, a little taller than I. He had a small beard and seemed to be the very laid-back type.

"Alright, thanks man!" I was beginning to notice just how great Gerard was at communicating with others.

We skimmed through several records: old, new, slightly used, and very used.

I found myself looking in the old punk and metal section, unsurprisingly. Dead Kennedys, Misfits, Black Flag, Black Sabbath--that sort of stuff. Gerard stood about twenty feet away, in the 70’s/80’s alternative and electronic area.

"Ohh no way!" Gerard pulled out an old, used vinyl. "The Queen is Dead!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The Queen is Dead!!" He cheered once more. I caulked my head and gave him an uncertain glance, still confused. "It's my favorite Smiths album! Well, it's tied with Meat is Murder."

"Ohh." I never really listened to the Smiths a whole lot, only what my old high school friends had shown me.

"We have to go to my place and listen to this, immediately!" Gerard was elated. He paid the owner for the vinyl, as well as an unopened "Best Of" Depeche Mode record.

As soon as we walked out the door of the record shop, it started sprinkling. I wasn't worried, I figured we would make it to Gerard's before it got too bad. But to my surprise after just five minutes, it was pouring rain and the two of us were left without umbrellas or hoods.

"Well, shit." Gerard snickered. "Here, use this to cover your head and we'll make a run for it." He handed me a plastic grocery bag enclosing one of the two records he had just bought.

We ran down the street, only stopping at crosswalks for cars that looked too preoccupied to stop for us.

Gerard laughed a lot, something I found I really enjoyed about him. He seemed to be very positive, even if he was freezing and drenched.

We kept running for a while until Gerard slowed down at a slender alleyway. "We can go this way, it will save a lot of time. Plus it's dryer."

"Okay," I was able to hold eye contact longer than usual, sharing a smile with Gerard as time froze still around the falling deluge.

We continued walking side by side, despite the narrowness of the alleyway, until we reached the apartment complex behind.

"This way," Gerard pulled me by my hand down the street and up the stairs to his apartment.

Stepping through the front door, the bleak, cold feeling was immediately flushed from my body. His apartment was very welcoming, and much larger than mine. I took off my drenched shoes and placed them by the door so they wouldn't ruin the carpet.

"I'll be right back!" Gerard shouted as he shuffled down the back hallway.

What the fuck are you doing here Frank?

Shit. I hadn't had a single problem while I was with Gerard, I hadn't heard the voice but once that morning. Yet the moment he walked out of the room it attempted to overrun me.

Frank you're getting too attached. I swear this is only going to end badly. You're such a fucking idiot. You should just leave while he isn't here, and never talk to that piece of shit ever again.

"Don't you say that about Gerard…" I whispered, almost completely silent so Gerard wouldn't hear it down the hall and think I was crazy.

Frank. He is a piece of SHIT. He may not seem it now, but just wait. Just you fucking wait. He's going to rip you apart and abandon you.

"No!" I snapped, slapping my hands over my mouth after I realized what I had just done.

Confused, Gerard entered the room and just looked at me for a moment before turning away. Shit.

~