Only With You

Chapter 6 : Couldn't Stop Caring

                                          LEXA

Clarke is snoring softly, when the light from the windows wakes me. She has curled up on her side and buried her face in the crook of my neck. She has a death grip on my shirt, so I am trapped for the time being. As much as I don't want to admit it, this is a not unpleasant situation to be in. She is an extremely attractive woman and I wish we were snuggled up under different circumstances. I use this opportunity to study her. She is even more stunning in this light, that I had originally thought. Her blonde hair reflects the sunlight and looks like a halo all around us. Her face is so soft and innocent looking right now. I itch to trace the lines of her jaw and down her collarbones with my fingertips. Knowing this is not a good idea, I look around the room to distract myself from that line of thought.

I look around at the room and realize that Clarke was right, this place is amazing. The pictures she sent me didn't do it justice. From my place on the bed I see a giant walk in closet and the door to the oversized plush bathroom. That bathroom is the stuff of dreams. It looks like it was created for comfort and is absolutely breathtaking. The wall across from the bed is all windows. They look out over the deck to the trees behind the house. The room it's self is simply decorated, as if it didn't want to detract from the beauty outside. I am so lost in admiring this place that I momentarily forget about Clarke cuddling into me.

It is short lived though as she shifts in her sleep and snuggles in even closer to me. It snaps me right back to my current situation. I think back to last night to that intelligible text that Clarke sent. I had just landed. and was about to debark the plane in Vancouver. I had planned to spend a few days on the coast away from everyone and everything. I just wanted to disconnect for a few days before starting a new project, but her text really freaked me out. It reminded me too much of what happened with Costia and I went into panic mode. I had to find Clarke. I had to help her. Luckily for me, Raven is always on social media and tweeted photos of them from the club. One quick search of the club's name and I have directions. It takes no time to get there and I am let right in. I step inside and scan the club for Clarke and Raven.

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Once I get to the club, it is not hard to find Clarke and Raven. They have a large group of admirers around them. I asked the bartender if he had seen them and he was quick to point me in their direction. He mentioned that guys have been sending them drinks all night and to be careful. Great I knew they were drunk, but I didn't know they were going to be completely wasted. I am happy I could find them, and upset that they weren't acting responsible tonight. I don't want to think about what could happen to them if the circumstances were different.

As I make my way over there, I see Clarke is mostly asleep at the table.  I scan the dance floor and find Raven is not far away. She is so wasted she is barely able to stand and is currently being felt up by some sleazy guy. Since Clarke is mostly safe at the table, I go rescue Raven. This guy really does not like someone taking his prey away. It's really disgusting how he is acting like Raven is his property. Luckily, he is a pussy and when I got in his face he backed down quickly. I may not be very big, but I have been told I can be intimidating, so I often use it to my advantage.

I gather both Raven and Clark and pile them in my rental car. It is a good thing I had already programmed my GPS with the house address, because keeping an eye on both of them is already becoming quite the feat. Raven keeps trying to stand up through the sunroof and sing along to the radio at the top of her lungs. Clarke is sleeping but keeps bolting upright like she must throw up, and then sings along with Raven, until she passes back out again.

After what seems like an eternity, I pull up to the house. Before I can even put the car in park Raven jumps out and rushes inside, leaving me to deal with Clarke alone. As I get to the back door to get her out of the car Clarke bolts up again and rushes out of the car. I find her on the side of the house throwing up and help her inside. I make her eat some crackers, and drink a little water, then coax her to lay down. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, I realize that we are both in my bed, but I am too tired to care. I fall into one of the soundest and most peaceful sleeps I have had in a long time.

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As I lay there staring at the ceiling I start to feel Clarke stirring next to me and take that as my opportunity to get up. Her eyes spring open with my movement and they go wide when they see me next to her in bed.

"I thought that was a dream," she rasps in a sleepy voice.

"Nope, not a dream. You were really drunk and really sick last night. I needed to keep a close eye on you, so here we are," I tell her.

"Wow, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to get that wasted last night, but Raven can be really persuasive when she wants to be. Apparently last night was one of those times, between her celebrating and all the guys hitting on us it was inevitable. Why do I feel like I drank a gallon of lava and fell from a 10-story building?" She murmurs the last part and I realize she probably didn't mean to say that part out loud.

"Well you may have fallen out of the bed in the middle of the night, and as for the lava you did drink a lot last night..." I tell her warily answering her rhetorical question. I don't want to rehash last night or why I rescued her. I don't know if I can handle more thoughts of Costia so soon and definitely not while Clarke is still in my bed.

I get up and head to the kitchen hoping that Clarke will leave this alone. I get myself a glass of juice and stare out the kitchen window trying to regroup. I can't figure out why that message from Clarke freaked me out so much. I can't understand why Clarke freaks me out so much in general. I am so good at keeping people at a distance and she just barged right in and I was helpless to stop it. I hear movement behind me and turn around expecting Clarke, but it's Raven. She thanks me for helping them home and apologizes for them both, saying things got out of hand. She turns and heads toward my room, where I can still see Clarke sitting on my bed. The two of them head upstairs chatting quietly. I can tell Raven is asking her what happened last night, and Clarke replies with a shrug and turns to look at me. We maintain eye contact until she turns down the hall to go to her room.

I had planned on unpacking and getting settled this morning, but this feeling of unease won't let up, so I change into my running clothes and take off. Running has always been an escape for me. It helps me clear my head and ever since Costia, it has been my salvation. When I go for a run I can get away from everyone wanting something from me, get away for all the feelings of inadequateness, the guilt, the pain and focus on nothing but my feet on the ground and the music in my ears.

I have no idea how long I ran or where I am, but it is beautiful, so I sit on a nearby bench to catch my breath and figure out where I am. It looks like I am in a park of some sort but no park I have ever seen looks like this. There are large poles all around that look like totem poles and even larger trees and people everywhere. How did I not notice that? I can hear water nearby but not sure exactly where it is. When I pull out my phone I see a missed call from Clarke and a few texts from her. I decide to ignore those and pull up the map application. I find I am in a park called Stanley Park only a few miles from the house. I guess I ran the long way around because my tracker app shows that I ran 10 miles and have been gone for 3 hours, no wonder they were looking for me.

I shoot a quick text to Clarke letting her know I am ok and just went for a run and then slowly make my way back to the house. I am dreading having to talk to Clarke and really hope to be able to avoid her for the rest of the day. I make it back to the house and it is blissfully silent. I head to my room and lock the door. I shower off all the grime and hope to wash away some of the turbulent feelings that have been plaguing me since I started talking to Clarke. It's not that she reminds me of Costia, because they are total opposites. For some reason talking to Clarke, has opened the Pandora's box of thoughts of Costia, that I thought I had locked down. I have done my best to never experience them again. I am so lost in my thoughts that the water runs cold. I reluctantly step out of the shower and wish I had kept my reservations. I could have really used a retreat from the world for a little while.

I am starving but I am also not ready to face any roommates that may be outside of my room, so I am thankful that I have a granola bar stashed in my bag for the times I don't have time to eat. I sit back on the bed, that Clarke haphazardly made before she left this morning, and stare out the windows. The view really is incredible here, but I am really going to need to get some curtains or something for those days after the night shoots that I know are coming all too soon. I guess I fall asleep looking out the window because I wake with a start. I hear a loud noise and realize that it is someone knocking on my door.