The Thing We Call First Love

Chapter 8 - The Pilgrimages

I never expected her to wait for my choice. I never thought our bond would be more powerful than God. I thought I was dreaming. I pinched my hand; I washed my face; I ran around the house; I ate an apple; I drank water and I accidentally pushed the washed vessels. The noise woke up my Mom. She was scared thinking that a thief had broken in. She started yelling at me when she found that the thief was her 16 year old son. Seeing her yell, I started laughing which made her even more furious. Yes, I wasn't dreaming. It was all real.

I read her message, 'WAS WAITING FOR YOUR DECISION. BIOLOGY HI-FI' for atleast a hundred times. That was enough for my mom to resort to physical assault. Sadly, my laugh stopped right there. After the war with my mom which she won, I went straight to bed.

Thoughts came piling in, just as it does. Just like me, she was also waiting for my decision. But unlike me, her reply didn't show any sort of desperation yet it conveyed the important message. I meant something to her. She enjoys my presence in her life. I make her happy by talking with her; by being with her. Magic entered into my life again. I didn't know when I slept but I knew I slept with a peaceful happy mind.

The next big obstacle was the class allocation. Just thinking about it, gave me the chills. Unlike the groups which only had two options, the class allocation had 5 options and to add to that, I didn't have the power to select my class. So the conventional coin toss was out of the question. But, Goddess Saraswathi wasn't out yet.

I yet again turned to Saraswathi who I had termed powerless just a day ago. But now, She seemed to be the most powerful being in the universe. I began visiting temples everyday. At times, Pravesh would accompany me. He would be so perplexed when I buy and light a lamp. He would be like 'WHAT ARE YOU PRAYING FOR? ARE YOU FINE? WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? DO YOU HAVE CANCER?' I never answered any of those questions. I would just smile. He thought that I was going nuts. Yes I was. When it comes to her, I was the most insane being on earth.

As days passed, my bakthi, that is, the belief in God increased exponentially. I still remember, it was 2 days before the school reopened. I planned for an anthapratharsinam. It was a ritual where the person rolls around the temple. But Pravesh stopped me. He got scared. He threatened me that he would tell my parents. I still hate Pravesh for stopping me. It still remains a regret in my life. Had I done the ritual, we might have been in the same class.

The day finally came. The names of the students class wise were displayed. She was in the fifth section but me in the second. All my prayings were in vain. We wouldn't be in the same class for the next 2 years. Just the thought of that killed me.

I was early to school that day too. Nobody had come. I went to my class and sat in the last desk in despair. The incident that happened on the first day of 9th grade flashed through my head. My mind knew that it wasn't a big deal but my heart couldn't take it.

I was waiting for her arrival. Will she also be sad that we were put in separate classes? What would be her reaction? How do I talk to her? What do I expect from her? Will I be able to talk normally? Questions kept piling inside my head. In the mean time, my new classmates started coming. Everyone had started coming. She had to walk past my classroom to get to hers. So I waited.

Out of nowhere, the long unused superpower of me - the Spidey sense was activated. I knew she was coming Immediately, I looked through the window eagerly waiting to see her beautiful face; to hear her beautiful voice.

Finally, my angel came. But suddenly all the feelings I felt till then vanished. Another feeling took possession of me. Expect the unexpected. She was walking with a smile. She was laughing. She had no sadness. She was talking. She was talking to Arjun. And that was that, I was fucking furious. I didn't know why but I couldn't stand Arjun being in the same class as Ramya. Even Swetha ended up in the same class. I was the only one who didn't have the luck.

This was enough to piss me out for a week, no, a month; a year, I thought. But my anger didn't even last 2 hours. That day I realised that she was a magician who could turn all my despairs to joy in a matter of seconds. It was the morning break when it happened.