The Thing We Call First Love

Chapter 17 - The Spark

The smile in Rohan's face vanished all of a sudden. With a tense face, he started telling me his plan. 'I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GONNA HATE THIS. BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER WAY. THE ONLY WAY IS TO HELP ARJUN TALK TO RAMYA.' He told me.

My heart stopped. I went blank. He knew that I wouldn't agree do such a plan but still he told me. My answer was an impulsive strong 'NO!' 

I told him that there would be some other way. I wanted another way but couldn't think of any. He told me that he hated the plan as much as me and added that he couldn't think of any other plan either.

I went silent. Since he knew everything about me, he used his secret weapon to convince me. He knew exactly what I'd do. He told me if I wanted Ramya in my life, I had to do it even if I hated it.

Suddenly my strong 'No' turned into a confusing 'Yes'. She was everything to me. So even a hundred Arjun couldn't take her away from me.  So in the end, I agreed to the plan.

Inorder for the plan to begin, we needed to know the reason for the fight. Rohan asked me to ask Arjun the reason for the fight. Even though I didn't want to, I had to. So I went to school early the next day and waited for Arjun to show up.

Surprisingly, Arjun was unusually late. Time was running out. The assembly began and Arjun was nowhere to be found. Then suddenly it struck me. I just remembered him telling me that he was going to his native place and won't be coming back for a week.

Of all days, he goes out of town at a time like this. The plan was over before it even began. But I was happy in a way because of the plan's failure. But on the other hand, I was terrified seeing all the bad luck; seeing all the plans not working out; seeing Ramya move further away from.

I even began thinking that we weren't meant to be together. In the morning break when I told Rohan all this, he got angry and punched some sense into me. He began shouting.

He scolded me for thinking that the plan was a failure. He scolded me for not trying hard enough. He told me that I was only talks and didn't really want to have Ramya in my life.

'IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMEONE TO BE WITH YOU, YOU HAVE TO TRY EVEN IF IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE; IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE TO FACE ALL THEIR HATRED INORDER TO GET THEIR LOVE. LOVE IS NOT GIVING UP LIKE YOU DID NOW. I'M NOT HELPING YOU ANYMORE.' He told me and left.

I have never seen him this angry. I was shocked. His words changed something in me. It made me realise that I wasn't trying hard enough. Not just then, right from the first fight in 8th standard, I wasn't trying hard enough. I was scared. I was scared of failure and rejection.

I walked back slowly to my class realising that I was the person to be blamed for everything. On my way, Pravesh saw me with a sad face and headed towards me. He asked me why I was sad. I told him that it was nothing and tried to force a smile on my face. But I couldn't.

Seeing this, he told me that I could tell him anything and added that he would do anything to console me. By the time he finished his statement, my eyes were filled with tears. I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't because if I tried to talk, I knew that I will begin sobbing uncontrollably.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the bell rang. Pravesh asked me to meet him in the ground at the lunch break. I nodded and I rushed to the rest room. I washed my face and ran to my class.

In the class, I began thinking of how to tell Pravesh why I was sad. The lunch bell rang but I didn't come up with any way of how to tell him. I slowly made my journey to the ground still thinking of a way to tell him. He was standing near the volley ball court when I saw him. He was awaiting my arrival.

Seeing me, he came towards me and asked me how I felt now. I told him that I was feeling better. After that, there was an awkward silence for about a minute.

Breaking the silence I began speaking. 'HOW WILL YOU FEEL AND WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOU REALISE THAT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPY BUT YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING? WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN THAT SOMEONE WALKS AWAY FROM YOU ANNOYED BY YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY?'

Pravesh couldn't understand why I was talking like this. Giving it a thought for some time, finally he answered me.

'I WOULD FEEL TERRIBLE. INORDER TO WIN BACK THAT SOMEONE, I WOULD DO SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY TO SHOW THEM THAT I'M REALLY TRYING AND I'M NOT IRRESPONSIBLE ANYMORE.'

Hearing his answer, I had a spark. I found a way to keep the plan alive and at the same time show Rohan that I'm trying. I thanked Pravesh hastily and told him that I would meet him in the evening.

Then I began running to find out the reason for the fight. I was running to show Ramya and Rohan that I was trying. I was running to correct all my past mistakes. No, I wasn't running to the phone booth to call Arjun. I was running to speak to Ramya. I was finally running towards my love.