If Only She'd Loved Him

Chapter 27

Friday 7:00 pm

"I can't," Megan cried. "I can't do this! Please don't make me."

Her hand hovered over the card she had chosen, then laid it back down on top of the deck without flipping it over. Break her finger? He was completely insane.

Erik picked up the hand he'd threatened and stroked it. "By not choosing, you choose, sweetheart, is that what you want?" Megan looked deep into his face and saw a spark of the boy she'd cared about. Her hand closed on top of his.

"Erik, you know this isn't right. Please reconsider."

Hr caught her look and felt the softness in her voice. His voice matched hers in gentleness, but his words cut. "Megan, none of this would be necessary if you would just accept that I love you. I don't want to hurt you. I truly don't, but you have to understand that you are mine, now and forever. I'll do whatever it takes to make that clear to you."  He caressed her hand, sliding his fingers up and down hers, feeling the tiny bones that shook as he touched them.

"Please, this isn't a fairy tale."  Her voice broke down as she felt what he was doing to her hand. Oh God, he was serious! "You are not my prince. You're my kidnapper and I just want to go home." He dropped her hand with a thump.

"Stop it," he demanded. "That's a tired refrain, and I am sick of it. Choose, let's get this over with, choose."

He re-handed her the deck of cards. His face looked towards the cards and then to her. Megan followed his glance. Her hand wouldn't, couldn't hold still.

"No," she shook. "I won't do it. I-, I-, I won't."

Her body started to shake like she had a fever. Tears slid down her cheeks. Erik didn't have to see the terror in her eyes to hate himself for what he'd been about to do. He pulled Megan close to him, hugging her hard. Shaking, shivering, Megan let herself be enfolded in his arms. Very gently, he kissed the top of her head.

"Oh sweetheart, I don't want to hurt you," he cried. So sad that she couldn't stop shaking in his arms. He willed warmth from his body into hers. "Can't you believe that?" he pleaded. "Please, can't you remember how good it was between us? How much we were in love? Remember when we saw that hawk up in the tree with a snake in its claws. You said you'd never seen anything so beautiful, so terrifyingly beautiful, remember?"

"Sure," she said sadly, "I remember we went to the lake, because you said you needed some peace and quiet, and then we saw that hawk. I've never heard such silence. It was as if you and I weren't even there, that life was there, and death was there, and that was all." She paused. "It was beautiful," she acknowledged softly.

Erik watched her face as she reflected on that night. So many emotions crossed over her, fear, admiration, peace. He had thought he was falling in love with her before, but he hadn't been quite sure until that moment. He had always found sanctity in nature. Its beauty, its peace, its justice was his God. In Megan's eyes that night, he thought he had found a kindred spirit. Someone who understood what he felt. Someone who saw the grace in life—and death. That night had been the turning point. The time when he knew he'd made the right choice.

"You were beautiful," he replied. "I remember the look in your eyes as you watched that bird fly away, the feel of your lips as you said goodbye. You were so warm, so soft, so open. I knew I loved you that night. I knew I'd never let you go." His arms started to dig around her shoulders, pulling her closer, growing tighter and tighter with each word. "But then I didn't let you go," his voice mocked. "You broke up with me. You didn't want me then, and you still don't want me now."