If Only She'd Loved Him

Chapter 76

Saturday 6:53 pm

Mud pulling at his tires, Erik hit the road. Despite the weather, he drove fast. He just wanted to get this night over with. Sean would be fine in the morning. He'd be sick and, with any luck, not remember most of tonight, but he'd be fine. Erik was the one in trouble. He needed to think, to plan.  Fortunately, he liked to plan.
He forced himself to think about what to do with Megan's body. The rain could be useful.  It would make the ground soft for digging.  The lake was nearby and parts of it were deep, but anyone out in a boat would look suspicious and it was too shallow near the edges.  Maybe he shouldn't bury her? Left out alone, animals would remove all the evidence. It would be safer for him. Safer for him. The words haunted him. That's what he'd said to Megan before he'd left to deliver her note. Safer for him, if he'd done more than just handcuffed one wrist. But he'd wanted to trust her, needed to trust her, and now they'd both paid the price for her lies. Slam! He pounded the steering wheel. If only she hadn't tried to escape! If only Sean hadn't appeared! If only he'd never delivered that letter! If only... if only she'd loved him. It all came back to that. If only she'd loved him, like he'd loved her. Tears slid down his cheeks, even as he tried to slap them away. Pulling his car up to his cabin, he got out and went to his door. Though the porch light tried to point them out to him, he never noticed the slim footprints leading into the woods.

A beer, hell, a whiskey would taste good and take the chill off him, he thought, flipping on the inside light. Something didn't look right when he entered, but nothing looked right to him after this night. Tossing his coat on the sofa, he went upstairs. He would put on the sweatshirt he'd left lying on his bed and—spinning around, Erik tore his bed apart; there was nothing there. Nothing. No jeans. No sweatshirt. Had Sean taken them? He couldn't have. He would have noticed, that
meant—

Like an owl, his head swiveled to the hall. Each foot placed with silent precision, he descended the stairs. Slowly, he nudged Megan's door open with his foot. It slid open in a whisper. Even the darkness couldn't hide the shape of the bed or lack of shape on it. Erik hit the switch, flooding the room with light. Her body was gone. She was gone.

Unbelieving, he stared at the bed, threw the covers to the floor, breathed in deep their scent, then howled. Alive! She's alive! Megan is alive! Clutching the sheet, he twisted it in his hands. How could he have missed it? He cursed himself. How could he have not known? But he had felt movement. He had thought he'd felt her fingertips contract against his. But then she hadn't moved again. She hadn't moved at all.

Beating his fists against the mattress, he cried out, "Megan, where are you?!"

Sobbing, Erik lay against the bed. Why? Why hadn't he checked for a pulse? Why had he let her be? Where was she now? Why wasn't she here so he could apologize? He was so sorry. He'd never meant to hurt her. He loved her!

But I don't love you, Megan's voice whispered back in his head. The same voice that had broken up with him in the car, taken him by complete surprise when he was planning their future together. The same voice that had made him do all of this, do everything for her. He had done it all for her.

Erik stood up. Tossing the sheet to the ground, his face cracked down in grim resolve. This, this was the final proof. She'd never loved him. She'd used him. Set him up, but in such a horrible way. Didn't she know the pain she'd caused him? His legs refused to support him. He fell in a heap on the floor, curling into a tight little ball. He pounded his fists against his knees. "Why?!" he cried out, over and over, "Why?!" His fists asked it again and again, beating against his body with each word. Till finally, exhausted, he lay still. His eyes wanted to shut down, give up being so soft and wet, but something sparkled on the floor. He reached for it. Silver glittered smooth, crystal caught the light and gave back rainbows: the necklace he'd given her. Slipping his fingers around the chain, Erik picked it up. She'd wear it again.