If Only She'd Loved Him

Chapter 67

Saturday 5:35 pm

Megan could hear Erik sobbing next to her.  Her first instinct was to put out her hand and touch him, reassure him that she was all right.  She ignored her instinct.  Instead, she closed her eyes and fought to breathe without moving.  For one tantalizing second, Erik thought he felt her hand move.  He tightened his grip, willing life back into her, but she fought hard not to respond.  She made her fingers limp in his hand.  Still he dreamed, he sat up and stared hard at her face.  Her eyes stayed shut.  Every ounce of Yoga training she'd ever had in her life came into play as Megan forced herself not to take a breath.  Her lungs pulled at her with burning hands, screaming at her to breathe, breathe.  But she didn't move.  Erik's eyesight was blurry.  His cheeks wet with tears.  He did the only decent thing he could do.  He decided to leave her in peace.

Sitting up on the bed, he reached into his jeans and pulled out the small black box he'd so looked forwards to giving her.  Flipping open the top, he slid the crystal drop and the chain it was attached to into his hand.  The silver nestled into his palm.  The charm lay heavy and cold, like a raindrop turned to ice.  Erik raised up Megan's head and fastened the necklace around her throat.  He barely touched her, so ashamed at the deep blue and purple bruises shining around her face.  The drop glistened at the base of her throat.  Leaning over, he kissed her tenderly for the final time. 

"Forgive me, sweetheart," he whispered.  "Please, let you and God forgive me,"

A moan from the other room tore Erik away from his kiss.  Sean was awake.  He still had to decide what to do about Sean.  Erik pulled a cover from the top of the bed and laid it over Megan's face, but then he paused, he didn't want to cover her face.  He couldn't say goodbye, not yet, not yet.  He re-arranged the sheet to just cover up to her neck.  Slipping into the bathroom, he splashed cold water on his face, trying to pull himself together.  For a brief moment, he stared at Megan's body from the bathroom doorway.  She lay so still, so quiet.  Unable to bear seeing what he'd done anymore, he left the room.

Megan heard the door shut and sucked in every gallon of air she could get into her lungs.   Panting, she gasped.  She'd almost passed out trying not to respond to Erik.  Her chest heaved up and down.  She breathed in hard with her nose, opened her mouth as wide as it would go.  Air! Air!  Her lungs did not react well to the sudden gift.  They burned as she breathed in, compressing her chest with fire and rocks.  Still she pulled it in and breathed.  Her neck was so sore.  It didn't seem like there was space for oxygen, but there had to be because she was still alive.  She was alive.

The coughing fit that hit her then would have given her away in an instant, if she hadn't pulled a pillow back over her face, smothering the noise.  The fingers inside her throat began to gash.  Ripping at her lungs, they tore away her voice, burning each breath she took to cinders from then on.

With raw concentration, Megan willed feeling back into her hands.  She flexed her feet, stretched her legs, reached for her arms to hug around herself and fell back against the bed.  She was alive!  She was alive!  She was?  Cold. Her body, free to react now, burst into shivers and shakes.  She wanted to scream, so pushed down had she been, so forced to repress the pain she was feeling.  Shock had cushioned her.  Now it left her shaking like a rag doll in a dog's mouth.  For a few minutes, she could do nothing but rock.  Her body curled into fetal position, her arms wrapped around her legs, she rocked back and forth, back and forth, till she got too tired to continue.  But she was still so cold.  Teeth chattering, Megan wrapped the quilt as tightly as she could around her body, and then levered herself up to a sitting position.  Something was adding to the cold all around her, something that hurt her neck on the outside, not the in.  What?  The necklace had formed a rope of ice around her throat.  But her fingers were trembling too hard to unsnap the catch, so for a minute she just studied it, trying to warm the charm in her palm. 

"A tear?  Why would he give me a tear?"