Tragedy of Bangtan // BTS FF

Chapter 28: Letter.

Namjoon was still driving their way to their dorm as they were listening to music. Well, rather Namjoon was since Taehyung was asleep.

The song playing was Stigma and Namjoon understood the lyrics fully only now. Only now, the lyrics started to make sense to him.

Namjoon: His lyrics... 숨겨왔어 – "I've been hiding it"...! Hiding everything behind that damn smile of his!

내 죄를 사해줘. (Please forgive me for my sins.)

제발... (Please...)

Namjoon: Why don't you ever tell us what's on your mind, Taehyung?! Why don't you--!!!

Namjoon was out of his thoughts after hearing a loud hong. He looked up to see himself approaching a car.

Namjoon: !!!

Namjoon tries his best to get out of the road so that nobody gets hurt, including themselves. He luckily does.

Taehyung: What's going on?! What happened?!

Namjoon: Nothing, I just... spaced out...

Taehyung: Oh...

Taehyung had now looked at the road, but immediately regretted this decision, because started shaking firmly. Namjoon noticed it and immediately got worried. Add to that, Taehyung started panting hard and it was clear he was having another panic attack.

Namjoon: Taehyung?!!! Taehyung, what's wrong?! Breathe. Taehyung...!

Taehyung: It... It was here...

Namjoon: What?

Taehyung: It was here... We're... in my neighborhood...

Namjoon: What?!

As soon as Namjoon realized where they were, he immediately started the engine to drive out, but...

Taehyung: !! My sister...!

With that, Taehyung rushed out of the car and ran in the direction of the buildings in his neighborhood.

Namjoon: TAEHYUNG!!!

Taehyung ran in the building, Namjoon running behind him.

Taehyung: SIS!! SIS!!!

Namjoon: Taehyung, wait!!!

But Taehyung could hardly hear Namjoon's voice. All that mattered to him at the moment was his sister. Taehyung ran in the apartment that he used to live in. Surprisingly, the door was open. But he regretted going in immediately because felt his heart beating like crazy. He started sweating and panting even harder as all the memories came back to him as he saw the mess this apartment was. Taehyung startled back, shaking in fear, bumping into the commode that had empty glass bottles on it. Due to Taehyung bumping into the commode, one of the bottles fell and broke to pieces.

Namjoon rushes in the open apartment to see shaking in fear Taehyung sitting on the floor holding his head in pain.

Namjoon: Taehyung...

Namjoon gently shakes the boy up to make him snap out of his thoughts.

Taehyung: Namjoon-hyung...

Namjoon: It's okay. I'm here--

Namjoon was interrupted when Taehyung hugged him and burst into tears.

///

Taehyung (narrating): It's dark. My mind is dull. It feels like being in a dark room. A room filled with dark thoughts, sadness, guilt, fear, and pain. I feel like in a cage. Trapped. Trapped in my own mind. Here's everything I tried to hide. To erase. But in the end, I only made it worse... All this is trapped in me. In my head. Feels like dying every day. This guilt... those memories....! It's eating me inside!

I see a small animal running towards me. Small and innocent soul. Like my sister's. Sister I couldn't protect. ...guess this is my punishment. A punishment for my sins.

///

Taehyung: Where...?

Namjoon: Oh, you're awake.

Taehyung: Hyung... What happened?

Namjoon hesitated before answering.

Namjoon: We accidentally drove into your neighborhood, and--

Taehyung: I remember.

Namjoon: ...

Taehyung: My sister wasn't there... She probably ran away from that place after what I did... After seeing what kind of a monster I am...

Namjoon: ! SHUT UP!

Taehyung: !

Namjoon: You're not a monster! Yes, you-- did what you did, and I'm not saying it was the right thing to do, even if you didn't mean it, BUT! You are not a monster! You weren't thinking what you were doing, you simply did it to protect a person dear to you! She didn't run away because you but because wanted to start over and be out of that place for once!

Taehyung: How do you know?!

Namjoon: Because I read the letter!!

Taehyung: !... Letter...?

Namjoon: Yes. When you passed out, I looked around the house and saw a letter. I read it in order to maybe learn something. It was from your sister to you. *hands the letter* Read it.

With that said, Namjoon left the room.

Taehyung kept looking at the piece of paper he had in his hands. He didn't have guts to open it. He was scared. 

He hesitated for a while and in the end, opened it.

Hello, Taehyung-ie. I'm gonna leave this note here in case if you'll decide to come back to this place. I didn't get a chance to say it earlier, because I was too shocked by your actions and then you ran away. I know you didn't mean. I do. And I want you to know that I know. What I wanted to say was... Thank you. I am also sorry. I'm sorry that it happened. I never wanted for our 'problems' to end... like that and I know you didn't either. Knowing you, you probably can't forgive yourself and keep blaming yourself. But I want you to know that I don't think of you any different and you shouldn't either! You are really caring and kind, Taehyung-ie. I always tried to lock you away from what our dad-- that man, was doing to us. I'm older than you and I always wanted to protect you. But I guess it was only hurting you more... seeing me like that. If I am being honest, I always thought of you as the older one in the family. Whenever I was falling asleep, I would always feel scared, but whenever you came and hugged me, I would feel a bit better and safer.

I decided to leave that... place and try to move on. I will find a way to survive, so please, don't worry about me. I really hope you haven't done anything irrational by the time you read this. You will always have me no matter where we both are. And don't forget about your members. They care about you a lot and are always there for you. I'm sorry I can't say all that to you in person.

Always love you,

Your sister ♡

By the time Taehyung finished reading the letter, he was sobbing and couple of tears dropped on the paper.

Namjoon had heard the younger sob, so he walked in the room and hugged him tight.

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Not only Taehyung is sobbing. I bet we all are full on crying at this moment. This was truly hurtful and I am the one who's writing the story.

Stay safe! ♡