I Sing For You

Chapter 8

Talking about my feelings to someone was totally different than singing about them.  It was the first time I had really told anybody about it face to face. It felt relieving, but also brought great sadness that I had been bottling up all of this time.  I didn't realize that I had the capability of crying so hard.

When he held me in his arms, I knew that he cared. I knew that he felt something for me, whether it was friendship or more, and that he wasn't just using me.

The sad thing was that I cared about him too. It scared me how much I was drawn to him.  I shouldn't be letting anyone in, but shutting everyone out to protect myself. This wasn't how I was supposed to feel.

I drove myself crazy thinking about him.  I kept telling myself that I liked in way that was more than a friend but there was still a part of me that wouldn't admit it.

By the end of the week, when we were debating which person to do the visual concept on.  He made me laugh... I can't even remember why because I was too focused on him, and the fact that he was making me happy again.  I knew that I felt something more than a friendship. It scared me, the fact that I loved someone again.

I wasn't all alone in my basement. I had something to look forward to.  Though I never sang for him when he listened to me, I did play for him. Seeing his smiling face in the audience was the best part of my day.  I was happy. I was smiling, and all because of him.

I liked him... so much.... maybe even too much.....

He was coming over my house for the first time so we could finish up the visual concept. It was a Friday.  I had practically lived at his house this week, and felt connected to his family.  I loved that they were so kind hearted towards me, and acted like I was a part of the family, even though I had only recently met them.

The only bad thing about this week was that whenever I played my instruments, my mom would sit there and watch me, with a sad look on her face.  Maybe she was coming to her senses.  When I'd look up to see her, the tear would roll down her cheek, and she would go upstairs.  It was weird.  It scared me, but I tried to distract myself with Ray.

"Jordan! I brought hot cocoa, now let me in!"  I heard him call from outside the front door while banging on it.

"In that case," I said, opening the door with a smile spread across my face.  I let him in, and we walked into the kitchen to start the hot cocoa. Maybe we were acting like little kids, but he got me hooked.  I was obsessed with hot cocoa just as much as him.

We made it, ranting on about random things like always.  Suddenly the topic of my mother came up.

"So where is she?" he asked in a whisper.

"In her room, laying down...Probably staring at a wall.  You want to meet her?" I asked wearily.  I wasn't so sure if she would want to meet him.

"Yeah, I think I should since I'm invading her house and making hot cocoa with her daughter," he said, half joking.  I took him down the hall, and slowly opened up the door of my mom's room.  She turned over slowly, her face tear stained....I didn't know why.  She never showed emotion until recently.

"Hey mom... This is my friend Ray...  We thought that you guys should meet, so.... here he is," I said, unsure of what to say exactly. She looked at him, and another tear rolled down her cheek.  She turned over and looked at the wall again.  We left the room, feeling awkward.  "You see what I mean?" I whispered when we returned to the kitchen.

"Wow, I didn't know she was that bad to be honest," he said.  We finished the cocoa up in silence, and drink it slowly, without saying anything.

We went downstairs, and worked on our project, with little conversation.  We only talked about what we were working on.  I felt guilty about making him see my mom.

When we finished the visual concept, we both felt accomplished.  Only one more part to go.  We made small talk, and then he noticed my instruments.

We walked over and sat on the leather piano seat together.

"Play something," he pleaded.  I smiled, and ran my fingers over the keys.  I played "Someone Like You," by Adele, but didn't, even though I was tempted to.  "Sing, please....For me?" he pleaded in the middle of the chorus.

"You jerk, I messed up the song!" I said playfully, and stopped playing.

"Good.  Now please sing," he said giving me the puppy dog eyes.  "I haven't heard your beautiful voice since the day I met you," he said.  I blushed, recalling that day when I played "My Immortal," and he had listened.

"Not a chance," I said, giving him a sweet smile.  

"Fine, then I'll have to,"  he said, scooting closer the the middle of the seat so I fell off, laughing.  He banged on the keyboard and sang "NEVER MIND I'L FIIIIIIIIINNNDDD SOMEONE LIKE YOU, I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST, FOR YOU" he sang obnoxiously, while I sat on the floor laughing my head off.

"Wow musical talent defiantly runs in your family," I said over his voice.  He stopped playing.

"You jerk, I messed up the song," he said, mocking my voice. I grinned like an idiot, and started laughing again.

"I'd better get home, it's almost eleven thirty," he said after a while of laughing.  

He refused to let me walk him home, so finally I gave in to his puppy dog eyes and stayed home.  Before he left, he turned to me. "Jordan?" he said, seriously.  I was waiting for him to say something deep and meaningful.  I could tell by his eyes that he was thinking of saying something that meant something to me.

"Yeah?" I said, smiling, still replaying his singing in my head, and silently laughing.

"Nothing," he said, and walked off into the night.

I wanted him to say the words.  I wanted him to say that he liked me, in that way of his.  I watched him walk down the street, not turning around once to look back at me.  He was muscular, but not bulky, with brown hair that was lighter than my dark curls.  His hair always fell perfectly into place, even though it was a little bit longer than most guys kept it.  His facial features were a little bit sharp, but he was handsome.  I loved every part of him, but my favorite part were the eyes. They told a story that I couldn't exactly grasp.

I kept watching him walk back to his house, thinking about all of the mixed emotions I felt for him.  I didn't just like him....

I lo-....really really liked Raymond Banks...

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HAHAHAHA!  Is Jordan getting on your nerves?  Share your feelings!!!

Just a warning, the next chapter is going to be like....intense with emotions from Jordan's point of view.  I'm not going to write anything weird, but you guys might be a little bit like "Whhhyyyyyyy?!?!" after you read it.  so just a warning.  I might update a second time today.

-Cheesy Writer