Kindness

Just another Night

   My mother never hugged me. When I cried she claimed I was just feeding into stereotypes. When Ruth cried she held her to her breast and sung her worries away. We never did quite see eye to eye. Out of kindness I never let her know how much that hurt me.

              When prom rolled around she took Ruth and me dress shopping. I couldn’t see why Ruth had to buy one, her prom was years away, but our mother bought her one any way. She only commented on the dresses I picked out if the price tag was too high for her taste. Nothing was too high for Ruth.

              We couldn’t find a dress low priced enough so we went down to the thrift store to have a look around. Ruth and our mother waited outside in the car for me.

       “Ruth you have ten minutes…Don’t have me sitting here all night.” Our mother said unsympathetically.

              Out of kindness I didn’t complain. I bought the first dress I saw, checked the tag to see if it was in my size, and was out the door.

            My Prom night had no pictures, loud music, and gave me the worst headache in the morning. I spent the night slouched against the punch bowl and came home before eleven-thirty. I walked thirty blocks to my house, threw up in the bushes, and tried to kidnap our neighbor’s dog. The neighbor’s son walked me to my door and handed me over to my mother.

           She slapped me when she saw how I looked. I stood there holding my face. The foyer’s lights poured through my eyelids causing drums to go off in my head.

        “Why do you do this Ruth? Huh?” she shouted. “Why do you have to be such a…slut? Is this how I raised you? I just can’t deal with you anymore! What are you showing your sister?”

          Out of kindness I didn’t say that Ruth had snuck out to go to the prom and still wasn’t back. Out of kindness I took all the blame.

           “Ruth…did you sleep with that boy?”

           “Mother, l-let me explain…” I pleaded in a slur.

        “You know the more and more I look at you, the more I see your father’s treacherous face. You’re just so damn stupid.”

         She slapped me again and pushed me to the floor making me hit my face against the stair banister on the way down. A large gash appeared across my right cheekbone.

           “Mother please…” I begged. “I-it’s not what you think.”

          “Then what is this Ruth? You know what no…no no more of your bullshit. Get out Ruth! Get the hell out of my house now! I can’t stand your face,”She said in disgust.

          She opened the door and glared at me. I stood up slowly and walked out the door.  I walked all night until I found a rundown tree house to sleep in. I curled into a ball in the corner of the tree house with my feet pressed against the cold wooden wall.

            Ruth texted me at 4:48 in the morning.

 Ruth: Best Nite Eva!!! :D OMG I’m pregnant. Caleb wants to keep it. LMAO don’t tell ma. GNite. ^_^

                                                  1O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger

                                                            or discipline me in your wrath.

                                                    2Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint;

                                                 O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

                                                                       3My soul is anguish.

                                                               How long, O Lord, how long?

                                                                        (Psalm 6:1-3 NIV)