Cruel Summer

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April 11th; 2012
3 Weeks Later
Taylor Swift's Point of View
Dear diary,
I have many mornings now where I wake up with Joe next to me. Maybe it's too many but as long as Liv doesn't know, I think I'm in the clear. One time she came to wake me up as she's an alarm to an extent and Joe freaked out and fell on the floor then rolled under the bed. That was a great moment and made me laugh for quite a while. He bought an apartment in Long Island so he could stay somewhere else besides a hotel. I still don't exactly know what's keeping him here. When I ask, he avoids the question and changes the subject. I feel like there's a bigger reason he's staying then he just 'likes it.' I don't even like living here that much but I still choose to stay. I feel like the answer is obvious but I still choose to ignore it as I don't exactly like it. He's falling for me but I don't want him too. I like what we are right now...fuck buddies. I feel like there has to be a better way to word that...oh shit, it's called 'friends with benefits.' Part of me wants to be with Joe but I don't love him. I wish I loved him but I don't. He's so sweet to me but every time I look at him, I feel nothing. Maybe one day I'll feel something but he won't stay forever. He'll move on and find someone and he'll tell me about it, I'll be okay with it. Maybe the only reason I want to feel something is because he's my only source of income. I wish I didn't depend on him, I wish I was my own person and didn't need someone else to pick me up when I fall. Joe, he pulled strings for me. I have a second chance to get a record deal with Universal Music Group. I don't know how it will go but I've been practicing, unlike my first chance.

                        -Taylor <3

I set my journal down and go to my guitar which has been used more than usual recently. I'm scared for my second audition as I know now, this is truly my last chance. Olivia wants to see me as I play music. I've written a new song to play no one else has heard. I take my guitar and walk downstairs where I see Olivia dressed and dancing in the living room.

"Why are you dancing?" I ask confused.

"Why not?" She says. That is flawless reasoning.

"You ready to go?" I ask her.

"Yep!" I take her hand along with a couple bags and my guitar. I walk outside where Joe is waiting with his car. This is her first time seeing Joe which I obliviously forgot about.

"Liv, this is my friend Joe." I show her to Joe who is standing in front of the car.

"Hi Olivia." He says which causes her to hide behind my legs.

"She's a bit shy." I explain.

"It's okay." He takes the bags from me along with my guitar and sets them in the back of the car.

"Thanks."

"Mommy, will you sit with me?" I can tell she's scared which is understandable when you're getting into a random car of someone you've never met.

"Sure sweetie." I help her inside the car and sit next to her. Joe begins to drive the car while she's silent.

"Mommy, where are we going?"

"Nashville, Tennessee. We have to take a plane to get there."

"The things that fly?"

"Yup."

"Cool!" After moments of awkward silence, we end up at the airport.

"I know you wanted me to come, but should I stay?" Joe asks.

"It will be fine. She'll warm up to you."

"Okay." He takes all our bags and I take my guitar. We check the bags but I still hang onto my guitar. I don't want it to be damaged in flight.

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