The Tattoo Kiss (Jaylor Fanfiction)

Back to December

March 11th; 2013
One Month Later
Taylor Swift's Point of View
Dear diary,
         It's been some time since I wrote anything. I've spent my entire life writing down how I feel instead of expressing it. Maybe that's what's been killing me for so long. I think I've been taking care of myself more. I've been spending more time with my kids and less time worrying about what people think of me. I'm trying to stay in the "now" rather than the past. It's weirdly made me happier and my family feels more together if that makes sense. I've been called so many things in my life but I think the one that hurt the most was being called a wolf. Wolf doesn't sound bad but realistically it made me rethink my entire life. It hurt for someone to tell you you're kinda a shitty fake person.
I've been spending a lot more time with my guitar as well to try and cope with my life. Songs about love and pain. I wrote one called Back to December...I think I might play it for Joe. It turns out the freedom he gave me when he stopped loving me, made me miss him and realizing what the mistake I made. Joe and I used to have so much chemistry but we barely talk anymore. I don't how to fix it but I've been learning how to fix a lot of stuff recently. You know what, I think I have an idea..."

                  -Taylor <3

I toss my journal on the other side of the bed and run downstairs. I find some Christmas lights from a few months ago. We had so many that our electric bill skyrocketed to an absurd amount. It was worth it to see how beautiful everything was. It was Benjamin's first Christmas and I wanted him to have the best. I take a string of pink lights and purple lights. I go outside, below where Joe's bedroom is and put the lights into a shape of the heart on the ground. I grab my guitar and tune it to make sure the sound will be perfect. It's night, the perfect time so I plug in all the lights and grab a couple of small pebbles. I throw the pebbles at his window until it catches his attention. He walks over to the window and opens it.

"What are you doing?!" Joe asks me.

"I have a song I want to play."

"Why don't you play inside?"

"Because this is more cheesy and romantic."

"I told you that I was done chasing you, Taylor."

"Okay but hear me out."

"Finnneeee. Play your song." He succumbs.

"Okay, you're gonna love it, I promise."

"I feel like at 15 year old."

"Just listen." I look at the ground and begin to play.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.

You've been good, busier than ever.
We small-talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why.

Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
And realized I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile.
So good to me, so right.
And how you held me in your arms that September night:
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December.

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.
All the time."

I look up at him with innocent and apologetic face. I'm unfortunately faced with Joe turning his back on me and closing the window. It was worth a shot. Trying is better then setting on your ass for the rest of your life. I sigh and begin to pack up my guitar but that's when I hear the front door open. Joe walks out the door and looks directly at me. I stand up and look at him as he walks over to me quickly.

"What are you doing?" I ask. He ignores my question and slightly tilts his head before kissing me. Apparently playing love songs can convince someone to love you.

"Why the change of mind?" I ask pulling away from him lightly.

"You finally understand. You spent the past few months being an arrogant bitch for god knows why but you figured it out. You changed yourself. This song says you regret not loving me when you had the chance. That you understand if I don't love you anymore."

"You said you stopped loving me."

"I never stopped loving you, I always loved you. I didn't love who you became. I went on like 10 dates and the entire time, I thought of you."

"I was being an ass because I hated myself. I wanted to reject people before they rejected me. I felt like I failed everyone, I didn't want more people in my life to fail. I'm an adult, I think it's time I learned self care."

"Come here." Joe wraps his arms around me in a bear hug. A hug of comfort and warmth.

"Why December by the way?" He asks me.

"It's when I saw it. I saw you stop. You did small things for me and it's like you were begging for me to love you. December, I finally saw the light fade from you. You stopped...loving who I was."

"You know how to write a good song."

"Thank you." I grin slightly before kissing him again.

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Author's Note:
Back to December slaps.