𝐸𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐿 // 𝐶𝐻𝐸𝑁𝑆𝑈𝑁𝐺 [✔️]

thirteen

chenle is like a drug. the more time jisung spends with him, the more addicted and dependent he gets. every passing second he feels like he's drifting further and further from reality. if they separate to merely use the bathroom or run errands, the younger feels completely barren of any emotion. he's far too young to be this dependent because of love, but he still blames the feeling on it because why else is he this addicted to chenle's presence?

they have been in shanghai for a week. jisung can barely remember the memories that were made before they stepped off the plane short of a few little feelings here and there, or in his dreams. but the moment he wakes up, he forgets it again. he's learned that his time is better spent living in the moment and not worrying about the past.

because he doesn't care about the past anymore. all of the feelings of emptiness from forgetting his dreams and forgetting who he is and forgetting the past eighteen years of his life are all diminished when he sees chenle curled up under the covers next to him. they agreed their money was better spent on a small studio apartment than a hotel. 

he looks at the sleeping boy and chews nervously at his lip. there's no good reason why he should be awake right now, as it's the middle of the night, but he'd rather stay awake than lay back down and be reunited with his dreams.

"chenle," he whispers, lightly tapping his best friend on the soulder. "chenle," he repeats a little louder when the elder shows no signs of stirring. jisung taps him a bit harder and, much to his luck, chenle wakes up.

"it's two in the morning, jisung, go back to sleep," he mutters, half slurred, readjusting his position so his arm is tucked under the pillow. his body is a little closer to the younger's, and he can feel heat radiating off—challenging him. "no wonder you're so fazed in the mornings."

"i—i had a nightmare. i don't want to go back to sleep."

with an audible sigh, chenle fully opens his eyes and sits up to look at jisung. it's dark short of the moonlight shining through the window, but he can still make out his features—sparkling eyes, porcelain skin, lips that looked so soft and full that he fought the urge to stare at them for hours.

he labels the sudden desire to kiss his best friend as just a two a.m. thought, but something tells him otherwise. something tells him that he's wanted this, for years, he's wanted to kiss his best friend and tell him he loves him and that he'd do anything for him. something pushes him to lean closer—whispering in the back of his mind that this moment is too perfect to let go. he leans a bit closer until their faces are mere inches apart.

chenle asks what he's doing though it sounds like it's at the end of a tunnel. jisung's mind is so muddled in this moment, so messy that he can't even remember his own name or where he is or why he's here. the only thought occupying his mind now are thoughts about wanting to kiss this perfect, ethereal, beautiful being in front of him.

"ji—" the voice isn't sharp, or demanding, or scared. it's soft and breathless. there is no strength for him to say more. so he doesn't. he lets this come to him as if he's been wanting it too.

the younger tries his hardest to break from the frozen feeling and just push forward. he's reminded that he wants this, he's wanted to kiss his best friend for years even though he can't articulate a proper reason why. he can't remember falling in love, he can't remember being friends, he can't remember anything.

he can only remember chenle's name.

so finally, he leans close enough to diminish the gap between their lips. chenle doesn't push away but instead grips onto the front of jisung's shirt like his life depended on it. jisung pushes himself closer and closer so that their bodies touch and the kiss deepens and another hand goes to tangle in his hair.

it feels so right, and so wrong too. it's wrong that he can't remember anything except for the boy beside him—but none of that matters as the only thing he wants to focus on is kissing the person that he's loved for so long.

chenle pulls away, breathless, jisung subconsciously leaning over to resume their moment though he stops himself. chenle looks up at his best friend with sparkly eyes and red cheeks, fingers still running through jisung's soft hair.

"i've loved you since the day we met." he whispers, a smile tugging at his lips the moment jisung smiles in return. "i've never stopped loving you, not once. i'll love you forever. even when i can't."

"i'll love you forever, even when i shouldn't anymore."

their lips are reconnected again. jisung shifts so that he's straddled over chenle's lap—not for anything sexual as that would ruin it, but solely so he can have more comfort and access when kissing him. he goes to cup chenle's face with both of his hands, heart exploding into thousands of different feelings and he grows dizzy from lack of air but he doesn't want to break the kiss to breathe.

"promise you'll never love anyone else." chenle mumbles into their kiss, hot air stinging jisung's lips.

"i could never love anyone else, chenle."