No escape

Chapter fourteen

It was a chilly Saturday morning and I couldn't feel anymore comfortable than I was feeling now. I was lying with Kayden in my bed. He had driven to my college immediately he got off work. I was so surprised when I saw him that I ditched everything I had to do Friday night. We cuddled while we watched a movie till we felt too sleepy to go on. Lara had slept at Sherry and Skylar's. I woke up before Kayden and I made breakfast. I was taken aback when I opened the door and found flowers. I read the card and I dumped them in the trash. The last thing I wanted was Kayden thinking that I was seeing someone else. My phone kept ringing the whole time and it was an unknown number. I kept ignoring it till Kayden told me to just talk to whoever it was. "Why are you ignoring my calls? Have you forgotten that we have a date tonight?" Said the stranger. I felt my mind spin as I thought about how familiar that voice sounds. I desperately wanted to know who was behind all the mystery flowers but I couldn't ditch Kayden especially after he drove all the way here for me. "Can we just push to next weekend or Sunday night?" I asked. I saw Kayden raising his brows and nodded. He went back to playing games on his phone. I felt awkward having such a conversation infront of him but I couldn't go away because he would feel suspicious. "No, it has to be today. I've already waited for so long. Unless you want me to come to your dorm," he said. "No, don't come. I'll be there." I disconnected immediately and placed the phone on the table. My palms were sweaty and I was feeling so guilty. "Why am I feeling so guilty? I'm not even doing anything wrong," I wondered. "You look pale and uneasy. What was that call about that's making you so uncomfortable?" Kayden asked. "Uh, it's just some friend from college she has issues and I have to go see her later this evening. I hope you don't mind me stepping out for a few minutes," I said faking a smile. "It's alright we still have today and tomorrow before I leave am sure a couple of minutes won't hurt so much. I'll just go visit your friends while you're away," he said smiling before placing a kiss on my cheek. "You're really beautiful Harley. I feel so lucky to have you in my life. I don't know what to do for you to make you happy and I feel like I want to do everything for you," he said cupping my face. I couldn't help blushing. "Do you know that you have very beautiful eyes?" He added while his finger rubbed my cheek. "No," I said blushing uncontrollably. My voice was weak and broken. This is how he always makes me feel. So vulnerable and unable to move away from him. "Now you know it, I want to spend each and everyday looking into those beautiful eyes. I like the things I see there. They are pure heaven and your smile is everything that keeps me going," he whispered pulling me towards his chest. "Do you think you can love me?" He said kissing my hair. I nodded and he pulled me back his lips crashing on mine. This time round it was not a hungry kiss it was slow tender and passionate. It contained all the emotions we had for each other. I poured out my unspoken feelings and fears in that kiss. I knew he felt it because he pulled me closer to him. He held me so tight like he was afraid I was going to vanish but I couldn't go anywhere even if I wanted to. I knew no matter how much I fought I was going to lose this battle of love. I had no escape no matter what I did. He was already all over my mind and I couldn't spend a solid thirty minutes without wondering how he is doing or what he is doing. I felt the urge to protect him and keep him happy. I didn't want him to be in any kind of pain or sorrow. I felt like I wanted to take away his pain and hurt. I wanted to tell him all this but I couldn't find the right words. I wanted him to understand that I'm not attracted to him but I wanted him to know that he is my life. I kept wondering how my broken heart could heel so fast and love much harder than before. I know I loved Austin but what I feel for Kayden is nothing compared to what I felt for Austin. I feel like without Kayden there is no me.
Kayden helped me choose what to wear. I think it's his new hobby of late. He wanted to drop me off but I came up with all sorts of silly excuses so that he could let me go. I got a cab and went to the bar where we had planned to meet. I didn't want to enter because I really wanted the meeting to be very quick so that I could go back to Kay but I couldn't stand outside. I loved standing outside but I had given this up for Kayden because it's the source of his darkest fears. I didn't want him to go through that regret again incase something happened to me while I stood out there. I strolled in and sat next to the entrance and I scanned the room to see if anyone was coming my way. I gave up and decided to pull out my phone and call the person. "Hey, I see you're here on time." The stranger said placing his hand on my shoulders. I felt a chill run down my spine when I heard the voice, there is no way I was mistaken. I was so afraid to look up at him because I didn't want it to be true. "God, not him please," I  silently prayed. I looked up and I felt too bewildered to do anything. "You, why?" I asked already getting my purse to leave. "Relax Harley, you need to hear me out," he said. "Austin we have nothing to talk about. I think we both moved on already," I stated. "First take a seat and listen to me. I know you're seeing someone else but you can't trust that guy you know. Me I'm always looking out for you. He is not right for you and if you just give me a chance, I will make it up to you I promise. You should just forgive me and trust me," he said moving closer to me. "You among all people is not supposed to lecture me about who is right for me. I gave you a chance and you screwed up. It's so funny how you think I can even believe a single word you say. If that's all you have to say, you can excuse me now. I have someone to take care of back there," I said with an evil smile. "Please Harley, listen to me. There is no single day I don't regret hurting you. I know you won't believe me but it's the fact, I love you. I fell in love with you but I didn't know how to act since I had never been so attached to someone. I didn't want people to know that I had become soft for you and that's why I tried to be an ass to you so many times but it would hurt me so much after. I could go back to my apartment and weep for you.  Believe me I tried so much to stay away from you. I even tried being loyal to Tirzah so that I could forget you but I couldn't erase those broken hurt eyes from my mind. I still remember how you looked when you found me and Tirzah. That day still haunts me and I regret it all. I wish I could take back all the pain I cost you. I wanted to give you time to heal but when I found out you are seeing someone else, I couldn't give you anymore time. I simply can't see you with someone else. I wanted you to discover that I changed for you and that I'm now worthy of your love but you didn't give me the time to show you. Right now I don't care if people find out that I'm soft for you because I have accepted it. I wanted to call you up every single day of the holiday I even wanted to surprise you with a visit but I didn't want to rush you. I know you forgave me but I need more than your forgiveness. Please Harley, will you give me a chance to prove myself to you that I'm a better person?" He said kneeling down. I looked aside I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to believe him but he looked so broken. I know for a fact that I had moved on from him but I loved him too much that hearing him say those words made me feel broken once again. I felt a soft spot form for him but I couldn't give him another chance. Even if I were not with Kayden, it was so hard to believe someone like him even when everything about his posture communicated that it's the truth. I knew I was a very soft person and I decided to walk away from him before the desire to comfort him took over and I knew I would regret doing so. It was a cold act to leave him kneeling on the floor but what could I do? He knew my weakness and he could use it against me and I would be the one crying in the end. I rushed to Sherry's and found everyone there. Ellie and Kay were playing games and I took this as an opportunity to talk to the girls. I told them everything and I watched as they all cursed and get angry on my behalf. "Ok that guy has the nerve," Skyalar cursed shaking her head in disbelief. "He is a pyscho, I know he can do anything but this is so new," Lara supplemented. "Are you going to consider his request?" Skylar asked. "Seriously?" I said laughing. "You must be kidding me, I have Kayden and I will never do anything to hurt him. I owe him big time. He is the reason I was able to move on so easily even though I spent months wallowing in self pity," I remarked. "Wise girl, and you should never put yourself in a position where you forget what Kay did for you. Or else we will knock your head," Skyalar said hugging me. "So the AH stood for Austin and Harley," Sherry remarked. "I guess so," I shrugged as I walked to where Kay was seated. "Have they treated you well while I was away?" I asked him kissing his cheek. I watched as everyone looked at us with admiration. "They couldn't resist my charm either," he said not taking his eyes off the screen. I punched him playful on the shoulder, "you are so full of yourself." I said chuckling. Everyone giggled and we decided to play something for everyone. I couldn't take my eyes off Kay and everyone seemed to notice it but they were already tired of teasing me about it. I couldn't hide my admiration for him anymore.
                           ***
"Hey Harley, why are you out here alone?" Austin asked. "Nothing really, I just came early to college today because I have an assignment to complete." I said feeling tired of the conversation already. "That makes two of us, can I join you?" He asked politely. "I don't think so, in fact I was just leaving." I said packing my books. "You don't have to avoid me Harley," he said. "I'm not avoiding you Austin, I have told you I have loads of work to finish and so I'm going to finish my work right now," I said irritated. "Ok, fine. Shall we have lunch together then?" He asked hopefully. I felt terrible for declining him but I didn't want to give him any false hopes. I made sure I had my lunch in class because I didn't want to run into Austin. I hated how my life had become. One time I was chasing after him and now I'm running away from him. It's funny how time can change everything. I had successfully avoided Austin till I ran into him just as I left college. I should have known he would be waiting for me at my dorm. He followed me all the way to my room and stubbornly refused to leave till I let him in. I made up an excuse that I have a discussion to get to but Austin volunteered to push me there. "Are you my personal body guard? Sorry to ask but you have been following me around like someone hired you to. I'm sorry but I'm so sick of you. Just leave me alone. Everytime you stick around, you make me hate you more," I yelled angrily. "I'm sorry Harley, I didn't mean to nag you. I just can't help it. I want to make sure that you are always safe," he said before leaving. I felt relief wash over me after as I lay on my bed ready to call Kayden. I had been too occupied the whole day with avoiding Austin that I hadn't talked to him. He must be feeling really worried. I found about eleven texts from him and I knew he might be angry now. How I let this happen, I don't know. I know he needed an explanation but when I called, his phone was off. I decided to leave a text for him.
Harley: Hey love, I'm really sorry I was too occupied today, I have a lot of assignments on my table and I had some issues to deal with. I will tell you all about it when we talk. But I'm really sorry and I promise to make it up to you.
I kept checking to see if he has texted back and I tried calling him several times but his phone was still off. The next day it was still the same thing and I was forced to call home and ask if everything was alright. I asked Callie about Kayden and she said she hadn't seen him since yesterday evening. "Maybe he is just so busy," I thought. The day was so slow and I felt sick. I hadn't heard from Kay and his phone was off. What if something bad had happened to him. I wanted to call his parents but I knew it would be too soon. I would call them the next day if I haven't talked to him by then. I had been in a bad mood all day and no one bothered to talk to me. I wasn't talking to anyone either and I was glad everyone knew better than to involve me in any activity. I was pleased when Austin didn't bother me once we collided. Though I couldn't stop wondering why especially when he looked so happy. I hadn't eaten all day and I didn't feel like I wanted to eat anything. I went straight to bed once college was over. The moment I woke up, I tried calling Kayden but his phone was still off. I couldn't take it anymore, I called Kate immediately and I was glad when she picked up on the very first ring. She sounded relieved that it was me in the call. "Thank God you have picked up immediately, Is everything ..." I said but she interrupted, "Harley, what did you do to Kayden. He told us not to talk to you but if you hadn't called today, I would have called," she mumbled. I felt puzzled, what did she mean by what did I do to Kayden. Was he in danger I panicked and my hand couldn't hold the phone firmly to my ear. I was so scared and I was shivering uncontrollably. "Is Kayden alright," I asked with a shaky voice and tears rolling down my cheeks. She must have heard the terror in my voice. "It's not like that Harley. He is safe but he is not ok. I was thinking that this had to do with you because he has been staring at you photograph while drinking since the other evening," she said. "Why would he be doing that?" I asked perturbed. "We don't know Harley, we tried to ask him but he wouldn't tell us. He has not eaten for two days now and he has refused to go to work. His staff has called too but I lied to them that he is sick," Kate sighed. "I'm coming over, don't tell my parents about it but I'm coming right now," I mumbled without thinking. It was mid week and I had lots of assignments but all that could wait. Kayden was now my life and if he wasn't doing ok, then nothing mattered in life. Kate tried to stop me but I cut off the call before she could complete her sentence. I jumped out of bed showered and grabbed my backpack. I wrote Lara a note and I called Ellie asking him to cover for me where necessary and I left.
I was rushing to Kay's room three hours later. I didn't even first go home. Harldy had the cab packed when I was flying out. I passed by Kate while she was in the kitchen and I waved. I found Kayden on the floor, he was staring out in the window. He looked so shabby and I felt grief stricken as I watched him. Either he hadn't heard me coming or he chose to ignore me. I didn't know what to do but I couldn't think while my feet dragged me to him. Each step was painful and I felt like I was stepping on my own heart. I reached where he was and I knelt down beside him and hugged him from behind. I kissed his neck but he didn't react at all. I moved to the other side and sat beside him. I took my picture from him and I placed it on the side. I took his hand and kissed it. I didn't want to speak because I wasn't sure he wanted me to but I wanted to show him that I'm here for him with my actions.  I kissed his tears before wiping them away with my palm. I thought I saw a smile forming on his delicate face after I wiped away his tears. I hugged him right then and I was relieved when he slowly raised his arms to my waist. "It's ok now, I'm here," I whispered my voice broken. "I thought you had left me for him," he sighed. "For him?" I wondered. I pulled away from him confused raising my brows. "Who?" I asked. "Austin," he said coldly. I could see hatred for him when he said his name. He sounded unsure and he looked like his name was bitter on his tongue. "What are you talking about?" I asked still confused. He didn't say anything and he stood up and went over to where his phone was placed and powered it on. He handed it to me and I developed cold feet when I saw the photos in front of me. There were photos from yesterday too. It was me and Austin at the bar, in the cafeteria and in my room. I cupped my mouth as I scrolled down. Austin was boosting about having me again to Kayden. I felt anger building up within me. I couldn't believe Austin, I thought I couldn't despise him any further but this. I turned to look at Kayden and he looked like he was waiting for an explanation from me. I knew I owed him one but he would get mad at me especially when I tell him that I ditched him to go to the bar to meet Austin. I just hoped he believed me that I didn't know it was Austin I was going to meet.
                          ***
I felt relieved that Kayden had believed me though he condemned me for not telling him about all those flowers and gifts. I promised to throw them away and he smiled again. He also agreed to have something to eat. Everything was back to normal now but I knew we were not ok, I could feel the unfriendly atmosphere hanging between us. Kayden was glad that I dropped everything I was doing to come and see him once I learned that he was not doing well but he was angry at me for hanging out with Austin though it was all forced. I understood where he was coming from though, I could give him sometime to cool off. I wanted to go check on my parents but he told me that I couldn't do that because they would blame him. He just went home and called Callie, she was so happy to see me and I made her promise not to tell anyone at home that I was here. Once we made Kayden's mum promise too, we drove off to college. Kayden was driving me there since he wasn't going to work the next day. Once we reached, I wanted to run to Austin's apartment and do something about what he had done. I was so furious though I acted cool back then. Kayden must have known what I was planning to do so he insisted that we could spend the night together and he would drive back tomorrow. I felt disappointed but happy at the same time. I wanted to spend more time with him but I wanted Austin to face my wrath when I was still so angry. I couldn't let him go away with it so I texted Ellie and Lara telling them about everything. I made sure Kayden doesn't find out because he wouldn't approve of it. I knew I could trust Lara and Ellie. They could do what I wouldn't do. I have never been violent but Austin was really trying my patience too much and I wouldn't mind him being beaten up this once. I couldn't help smile when Ellie cursed and said I shouldn't stop him when he hits him. There is no way I was going to stop them this time round. Kayden has been unhappy for two days and he got to pay for it. Once I was sure Ellie and Lara were on their way to Austin's apartment, I smiled and switched off my phone. I couldn't hide my happiness as I kept laughing at myself, I knew people did stupid things for love but I couldn't imagine myself being part of those people but I was willing to do anything to see Kayden happy. And I would do anything to keep Austin away from me since he was so focused on ruining what I have with Kayden.
I left Kayden in bed since I had an early class. I left him a note and breakfast. I was anxious to meet Ellie and Lara. I wanted to hear all about their encounter with Austin.
I laughed all through the first period as Ellie told me about everything. We were even threatened to be dismissed from class if we didn't behave. I felt bad for getting Austin beaten up by my friends but I was so angry and I know there is nothing I could do that would stop Austin from haunting me. I knew that even that couldn't stop him but atleast he would take some time before disturbing me again. I hoped that by that time I would have got the courage to tell Kayden about my real feelings for him.

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