hello? (a mcu wrong number fanfic)

7. the interogation

group chat
contains: tony, steve, bruce, sam, clint, wanda, loki, thor, vision, scott, rhodey

y/n
why did the avengers put me in a group chat and how are their names in my phone already
oof i'm dumb tony fucking stark probably hacked my phone
but still why are you guys texting me

steve
language

y/n
english

tony
we are here today to ask why are you talking to our friends

y/n
didn't know someone like you had friends
but which friends in particular?
because i know peter has that "internship" with you

tony
that's a totally real internship i'll have you know

y/n
sureeee
i suggest you talk to peter about being more discreet about it because i figured it out after meeting him one time

steve
we need to ask you some questions to know if you are a threat or not

y/n
okay cool beans

steve
1. what is your goal?

y/n
to end up in a coffin in, at the max. 10 years
next

bruce
that's not concerning at all

steve
2. who do you work for?

y/n
ummm
hydra
hahaha jk
....unless ?

clint
TONY NEUTRALIZE THE
THEYRE A THREAT

y/n
HAHA YOU THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS
but for real i don't have a job
i'm unemployed 😔

loki
i literally can't tell when they're lying or not ?
i like this one

steve
moving on
3. hobbies?

y/n
therapy

bruce
am i the only one concerned for their mental health???

steve
4. if anyone was to attack you what would you do?

y/n
i've been attacked before would you like me to just tell that story?

tony
that works i guess

y/n
well the dude tried to mug me, and i made him give me his money and run away crying
he was the one with the gun and i made HIM run for his life lmao

tony
w h a t
elaborate

y/n
well the guy wanted my money, not this first time this has happened i told that story to who i assume is bucky barnes
...
anyways the guy pulls a gun on me and goes "give me your fucking money" so i go "so you want my money huh? well i want your money bitch, give it to me or i'll break your fucking ear off and feed it to you, but not before i eat your teeth."
i got 50 dollars from that encounter

sam
that's brutal
and yeah that was bucky

tony
ssAM you don't give away his identity like that

y/n
you know what this means?

clint
i don't have enough money for chicken nuggets? ;-;

y/n
nicee
but no
this means black widow is my mom
that's badass

wanda
so we all agree y/n is not a threat?
yes? good
now
y/n can we be friends 🥺👉👈

y/n
YES WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS
hang on i need to go tell my girlfriend what just happened
she's probably just gonna shove it in my face that she's already met you guys :(

tony
she's met us?
who's your girlfriend

y/n
shuri
she literally said:
"they're old news"
"i let those losers fight in my country"

tony
shuri as in

bruce
princess of wakanda?

y/n
yes and ?
oof gotta go my "mom" is calling me for dinner
and wanda i'll text you later we can go shopping some time :)

wanda
yay! i'm free tomorrow

*y/n changed "group chat" to "losers" *