hello? (a mcu wrong number fanfic)

21. s h r e k the greatest

pictured above: shrek statute shuri supplied and the mashup friday played

-

You and Shuri walk into the compound at 2 am. Early enough to be startling but not so late that Steeb would be awake.

Tony was another problem but you may or may not have had Bucky put nyquil in some coffee.

You had a basket filled with candles, two lighters, and 3 sound proof headphones.

Shuri had the Shrek statue delivered earlier.

And with some help from Bucky, it's currently hiding in the utility closet.

Whispering you turn to Shuri, "You get Bucky, he's waiting in his room. The second one down the hall right next to Cap Assmerica's so be really quiet. I'll set up the candles."

"Got it."

"Okay good, see you soon," you say giving a quick kiss to Shuri before heading to the living room.

Moving the couches, tables,and rugs (didn't want to burn down the building) you begin placing candles down.

Bucky, who's holding the statue all by himself, walks in followed by Shuri.

"Where do I place this?"

"In the middle of all the candles."

"Okay," He says setting down the statue.

You hand Shuri one of the lighters and you begin lighting the many candles you places around the room.

A few burns later the set up was complete.

You, Shuri, and Bucky all sit around the statue holding lit candles.

Before you tell FRIDAY to turn on the mash up you all put on your headphones.

"FRIDAY play the song I sent to your email (yes friday has an email account) at complete volume except for nat and wanda's rooms," you whisper at the ceiling.

Without warning WAP x Allstar begins blaring through the speakers.

The three of you close your eyes and whisper "shrek the greatest" over and over again as planned.

One by one the avengers start gathering in the living room weapons at the ready.

Soon the song stops, the lights are turned on, and you can faintly hear the others talk amongst themselves.

"Shrek the greatest, Shrek the Greatest," you keep whispering.

Soon your headphones are ripped off.

"What the fuck is going on???" Tony asks.

This doesn't stop you.

The three of you stand up and in unison go, "SHREK!"

Upon this Peter dressed in his spiderman suit with a Shrek mask on, hits the window.

Everyone turns towards the sudden sound and see Peter stumbling in.

"You summoned me?"

You walk to Peter and hand him your candle, the only two following suit. You then bow and turn towards the others.

Peter bows back and goes, "You may visit my swamp for the low cost of a left shoe now," before blowing out the candles and jumping out of the window.

They are stunned with utter confusion, except for Nat who is now unaffected by your antics.

"What?" Bucky asks.

"Yeah what?" You repeat.

Nat just shakes her head and goes to make a sandwich.

"Was that Peter?" Tony asks.

"No that was Shrek," your lovely girlfriend responds.

"I need coffee," Tony says in response before walking to the kitchen.

"Why wasn't I in on this," Loki whines.
"You know I love mischief."

"Oops sorry, I was unaware," You deadpan.

"I'm the God of Mischief for Odin's sake."

After this Bruce once again questions your mental health, Steeb probably still in shock just stares at the giant Shrek statue in the living room, Clint and Sam burst out laughing, and Rhodey just pinches the bridge of his nose.

The three of you and everyone else (minus Steeb who hasn't moved) sit down on the couches.

It was a comfortable silence, well as comfortable as it can get with a 9 foot Shrek statue in the middle of the room.

-

i meant to publish this earlier but I had a meeting with my art teacher so I couldn't finish writing the chapter :(

hope you enjoyed the chaos

anyways have a nice day!

and another chapter should be out in a couple days or next week, if you want to see anything specific just write me a comment or send me a message!