Burnt Out - Zuko x OC

God

***T/W - CHILD ABUSE, RAPE, MURDER***

Time seemed to slow down as I fell toward the sea. The harsh night wind stung my eyes, blinding me from seeing the hungry waves that I was plummeting toward. I sucked in a deep breath of air before hitting the water head first. It felt like being punched in the face. The water was ice cold and remarkably strong. I'd planned to swim as deep as my lungs would allow anyways.. just for a moment of peace from my racing fucking thoughts, but now it was no longer my choice. The currant grabbed hold of me and didn't want to say goodbye.

I engaged with the water for a few moments, entertaining it by participating in it's deadly, seductive dance. Allowing the burning sensation in my chest to grow more overwhelming by the second. My lungs screamed for air, but my mind told them to shut the hell up. That I needed this moment of silence. The fire that burned inside of them was the only thing stopping me from feeling betrayed and heartbroken and incredibly, overwhelmingly angry. Eventually, the decision to inhale wasn't mine anymore either.

Salt water filled my lungs and stomach simultaneous to the ocean floor embracing me. It pushed me up toward the surface, coming to my rescue, like always. The air hitting my face felt just as painful as the uppercut from the water had, but with it came a retching stomach. I rolled onto my front and vomited until I had nothing left to give. Gutted from the inside out, and when I was finally able to wipe my mouth and stand to my feet, there was nothing surrounding me. Nothing for miles. The pillar of earth was just wide enough for me, myself and I, high enough to protect me from the waves below that whispered the promise of permanent sweet relief from all the pain I'd ever endured in my entire life.

When the burning in my chest subsided, all that was left was my thoughts. Those tantalizing memories of my time spent with a boy that knew all the right things to say, and the depressing realization that I — the greatest earth bender alive — was nothing more than a fucking idiot.

One foot in front of the other. That's what I had to tell myself in order to get my shivering legs moving again. I'd lunged off of Appa's back somewhere in the middle of Full Moon Bay. East enough of The Serpent's Pass that I need not worry about slithering, slimy creatures that wanted to swallow me whole, but still much further north than The Great Divide. The gang no longer trusted me, and how could I blame them? I didn't even trust myself anymore. Not since I felt that hot, sticky darkness creep its way out of my soul. Something had changed inside of me then, I knew it. And to be of any use on The Day of Black Sun, to gain my friends' trust back, I needed answers. And I intended to get them this time.

More ocean floor met the soles of my feet as I stepped off the cliff. Every time I took a step, the earth caught me. My oldest friend. It secured my path until day break, when I finally reached the northern shore of the Western Earth Kingdom. It would be an even longer journey to the heart of The Great Divide, but I could ride an earth wave then. As for now, my legs were about as sturdy as jello. I'd ran nonstop through the night, having feared that if I slowed down my emotions would catch up with me. Like they were waiting for me in the shadows that I'd once called home. And feeling the agonizing, sharp pain growing more and more intense in my legs would always be less painful than the words that those emotions whispered into my ear.

I collapsed into the sand and felt the darkness crawling over me again. A different kind of darkness this time. The kind that lets you enjoy a free trial run of death for not nearly long enough. Sleep. She cradled me.

Light surrounded me. It was all I'd ever known. Hues of reds and oranges, yellows and pinks. Lots of pinks. I was warm. In fact, I didn't even known what it felt like to have the constant bitter chill permanently lingering inside my bones.