Burnt Out - Zuko x OC

Little Wolf

**A/N - TW! This chapter contains what I consider to be a very graphic scene of sexual assault. Also NSFW.**

"Where... where are we.. Why are you...." Kai scarcely heard her own voice mumble before trailing off. Her eyes refused to open. She'd fallen asleep with the rest of her friends on Appa's back, leaned over his saddle while watching the vicious ocean waves reach out for her.

"We're at the rendezvous point." Sokka whispered. He was holding her above the tall grass, kicking his bedroll open so she could rest a little better. "Just go back to sleep. I'll be right here, I won't let them hurt you."

Them. The realization that Kai's dreams and nightmares weren't at all comparable to his own hadn't hit him all at once, like it should have. It seemed that every time she slept, a bigger piece of herself was left behind in the dimension that she feared so immensely. She woke up more violently than the last each and every time, it never failed.

And to Kai, they weren't dreams at all. The brief stretches of time that she spent unconscious weren't sleep. She was simply being transported to a realm where even her own existence was questionable — save for as an extension of the darkness.

Sokka prayed that his words would bring her some level of comfort, but she'd unwillingly fallen back into that other world before they even hit her ear.

*****

Light. Vibrant, warm, yellow light in every corner of a steel walled room. There was no fading in this time, no wondering where she was or how she got there. She was at the Fire Nation Royal Palace. Third floor, west wing. She'd always been there, it seemed, and she never wanted to be anywhere else.

Agile fingers that were scarred with callouses caressed her lovingly. A lap more comfortable than any throne rested beneath her and eager teeth nipped at her jaw.

"Why did you leave me?" Zuko asked. He held her neck on one side, using his thumb to tilt her chin up and give him free reign of her neck.

Her moan tickled his lips, causing them to curl into a satisfied smile against her skin.

Still, tears made her eyes feel heavy. "I didn't want to." She said. Desperation clouded her judgement. She was desperate to feel his frustration mingle once again with hers, desperate to know that she was forgiven, desperate for this entire fucking war to be over with so that the two of them could live a normal life — whatever that entailed, she would take it. "Please, don't be mad at me. You wouldn't have let me go on my own.."

Zuko chuckled and pulled back. Fuck, had she missed his devilish smile. "You're right, I wouldn't have." He said. "But I'm not. I'm not mad at you.. not if you were telling the truth."

There was no questioning what he meant. Kai knew. She'd simmered on what to write on his mirror for hours before dipping her finger into the iodine. She'd stared at his unconscious body and felt emotions ranging from either end of the spectrum swirl around inside of her. She was disgusted by his loyalty — both that for his nation and for her. Pain and jealousy flowed freely as she recognized that he'd brought another lover to his bed. He'd done it just days after returning home, and he would do it again shortly after she left.

But she hadn't been lying in her farewell letter. He held all of her love right in the palm of his hand. She'd given it to him willingly and if he offered it back to her now, she wouldn't take it. What purpose did it serve her, anyways?

Kai nodded her forehead against his as he closed in on her again. "I love you, I'm so sorry." Tears spilled over her cheeks and Zuko groaned. His hands gripped her hips, pressing her harder against his lap. She felt a twitching from beneath his clothes.