The secrets of Rowan Khanna (Y6 spoilers)

Rowan's birthday (Chapter 6)

A few days after the events of Valentine's day, Rowan had come to a conclusion.
She couldn't keep lying to her friends like this. She couldn't keep being their friend like this.
All the betrayal, it was weighing on her too heavily.
Alone looking at Barnaby that seemed to think so highly of her... she couldn't keep this up.
So, she had decided to focus more on other things, to distance herself from them...
Most of her days she spend in the library nowadays, reading or studying. Other days she spend sneaking after Nonie, for information.
When it came to R she barley delivered any information at all, saying that Nonie wasn't making much progress, she couldn't deliver more info.
They weren't happy with that, but if they wanted to continue receiving any sort of info they couldn't do much.
All her friends were concerned, because Rowan seemed to completely have shut down.
It was unusual for her. She always studied a lot, but this was... She hadn't even studied that much last year, for the O.W.Ls.
Not even Barnaby could get through to her, even though he really tried... Oh, how hard he tried.
The sight of his best friend and crush just shutting down, it made him sad.

Like most of the time now, Rowan was sitting in the back of the library, studying. At this rate, she woulds absolutely ace her N.E.W.Ts next year. But... Rowan felt lonely.
Usually she was a pretty social person, and now... But it was better like this, she told herself.
This was her own decision, she just wanted to protect her friends, and... herself.
Her friends didn't deserve being lied to. And if they were to find out about it all, maybe... maybe she could spare them some heartache... They would find out eventually... there was no way she'd be able to keep it a secret forever.
And this way she could protect her own feelings. If they were to find out, maybe this way it wouldn't hurt as much for Rowan either.

"Rowan!" Barnaby came running into the library, immediately being shushed by Madam Pince.
He had finally figured out how to get Rowan to talk, and he was really excited about it!
She didn't look up at him, she just fixed her eyes on the page.
But she couldn't ignore him plopping a Cruppy onto her lap. She couldn't resist the urge to pet it either.
Barnaby looked at her, excited, waiting for a reaction.
This was how he would make her feel better, he thought.
He was convinced that Rowan was just sad, after all she had been sad all year.
And who could be sad around a fluffy little Cruppy? Nobody, in his opinion.
" Do you like it?" Barnaby asked, tired of waiting for her to say something. "I borrowed it from Professor Kettelburn."
Rowan didn't know what to say, if she should say anything at all.
She stared at the Cruppy, avoiding eye-contact. "I- I'm busy. I have somewhere to be."
And with that she got up, gave him the Cruppy back, and ran away.
So Barnaby stood there, upset. He didn't know what he had done wrong.
Usually she just needed a hug, and now not even a cute creature could cheer her up.
And because her weird behaviour had started shortly after Valentine's day, he wondered if it was his fault that she was acting so strangely. Maybe him picking her up, or holding her hand had scared her, so now she was acting so weird..?

Rowan ran through the corridors, headed for her dorm. She felt like an idiot. Barnaby had looked so hurt when she had left... was this hurting him more, then him finding out about her involvement with R would..? He was sure that she was a good person, he had said so... Maybe this was stupid. Maybe she should just live her life like R didn't exist?
No, it wasn't fair to them. She had lied to them for too long already... almost six years now...
Her friendship with everybody, it was based on lies... Did any of them even really know her?
Barnaby thought she was a good person, all her friends thought she was. If they knew her secret, they would be horrified...

Tonks was alone in the dorm room. And with no one else around, she had decided to snoop around a little bit.
It so felt wrong, but she couldn't help it. Rowan was just getting weirder and weirder, she wanted to find out what the matter was.
Maybe if she knew the problem, she could help!
She could tell that this was something big. Rowan had been sad before, because of her sister being ill or something like that, but this was very different. Those times, you could cheer her up by making her laugh, but not this time. Everybody had tried.
So Tonks couldn't help but find out what was wrong, that was just the way she was.
Now USUALLY she wouldn't take drastic measures like looking through her friends stuff, but this seemed... urgent.