Word Diet - short stories with less calories

The Blood Sucker - Part 2 (#Date)

This is a follow-up tale to "The Blood Sucker" which the author (me) recommends you read first, not because it will make this story more humorous, or even more interesting, but because things should be done in order.  You would never blow out a candle before you light it - right?  Umm, that analogy doesn't really work, does it?  OK, keep calm and read on.  LL1890 

Mr. Johnson was nervous.  His charge, Jonathan Williams, was looking at an online dating service again, which meant that he was hungry and was searching for a new victim.  It had been several weeks since Williams's last "encounter" (Johnson's adopted term,  since calling them "murder" made him feel like a failure), and now, here was Williams, scrolling through pictures of young women.

After a number of sessions with Dr. Phatlips, Johnson had come to the conclusion that he couldn't keep Williams from killing women and draining their blood.  This realization brought on a few changes, such as binge-eating, nail-biting, and Netflix binging (yes, now he had insomnia as well) - yea "Outlander!" 

Then he had an idea, instead of trying to "cure" Williams's behavior, perhaps he could just alter it toward a more positive result?  Williams liked finding victims on the internet, so Johnson nudged him over to the dating website "Hotties on Parole" hoping to kill two jailbirds (sorry for that) with one stone.   No luck.  Williams liked his ladies' helpless.

A Week Later - At a Mexican Restaurant Happy Hour

Johnson watched as the young woman introduced herself to Williams and took a seat at his table.  They ordered margaritas and began to amiably chat.  Johnson had decided to sabotage the date - and thus, save Melanie's life! 

"Sorry, I'm clumsy -" said Johnson as he pushed Williams's margarita over, spilling it on Mel, but to his chagrin,  they cleaned her up and carried on.

During dinner, when Williams wasn't paying attention, Johnson flicked a dab of refried beans from Williams's plate onto Mel's blouse.  But damn - undaunted!  She appeared to really like him!

"Hey - what the heck are you doing!" an older woman shouted at Johnson from across the room.  Johnson recognized the woman as another Angel and relaxed.

"Oh thank goodness - are you Melanie's GA?" asked Johnson.

"Yes I am, and you're ruining her date!"

"Look, I'm trying to ruin her date, my charge is a vampire," replied Johnson with some exasperation.

"Oh, you're the guy with the vampire," said Mel's GA, who Johnson thought looked like she should star in a margarine commercial.

"Yup, that's me, and if your charge leaves with my guy, YOU will be joining me on the GA social pariah list."

Mel's GA looked aghast and taking out her phone, sent a quick text, while Johnson placidly watched the dessert service.

"Alright, I just arranged for an emergency... wait for it," said Mel's GA.

Mel saw a text alert and picked up her phone, read it, and immediately looked shocked.  She got up and said she had to leave, but Johnson, suddenly inspired, used an old GA trick and threw his voice.

"But you haven't paid!"

Mel's look of concern flipped to big-time-anger, and she grabbed her stuff and ran out the door.

"That should do it," said Johnson to no one in particular.