Diagnosed Dancer

Chapter 8

I wake up in terror, panicking. I look at my pillow and see a large amount of my hair on my pillow. It's happening. I'm starting to lose my hair from treatment. I start to cry loudly and my mom comes to check on me. She sees me crying with a large amount of hair in my hand. She sits besides me and holds me. We silently decide it's time to shave it off.

After all my hair is gone I look in the mirror. I feel so ugly now, I'm not beautiful. James will never want to see me again he will think I'm hideous. I go into my room and cry. My mom knocks on my door and I ignore it. She walks in anyways.
"Go away, I don't want to talk."
"You can't stay in your rom forever just because of this, you'll have to leave sometime."
I grumble hating to admit that's she's right. I have to leave at some point but, I'm bald I don't want anyone to see me like this.
"Someone is here for you, it's a boy."
No! It's James, he can't see me like this. I look like an old mine that's gone blad!
"Tell him I'm sick, I'm not home. Tell him any thing just don't let him in! I look hideous, he'll never want to talk to me again."
My mother doesn't reply, I assumed she just went and told him I don't feel well, atleast that's what I hoped. I hear a soft knock on my door, a knock that isn't like my mothers. It's James. I panic and cover my whole body with the blankets so he can't see me.
"Go away." I felt rude but I didn't want him here.
"Amber, it's James I just wanted to stop by. I'm sorry if it's not a good time, I just thought you'd want some company."
"I look like a troll, you don't want to see me like this."
" I doubt that."
Butterflies fill my stomach. No one has been so sweet to me. He, the cutest guy made a sweet comment to me. A bald cancer victim. I stay silent for a while and he walks in. He looks amazing today. Dressed in khaki pants and a blue plaid shirt with white vans on his feet. He smiles at me and I bury my face in the blankets again.
"Why are you hiding Amber?"
" I look terrible, I have no hair, no makeup, I look tired and weak. I didn't want you to come see me!"
"Well you look great." He smiles
I laugh at his comment, knowing he only says it to cheer me up. He sits besides my bed and pulls the covers away. He once again smiles his beautiful smile.
" Beautiful."
I blush , in reply to his comment. My tummy fills with butterflies again. I can't believe he thinks I'm beautiful, or at least is trying to act like he thinks that. He pulls out a beautiful floral hat.
"Your mother told me about your situation, I wanted to come over and cheer you up. I thought you'd like this."
He puts the hat on me and smiles. I half smile back.
"You look beautiful in that hat, I think you will get used to it."

We decide to go outside for a walk. He leaves my room so I can get dressed and try to look half decent. I walk out and smile.
"Mom were going for a walk, won't be gone too long."
"Okay sweetie, have fun. It's beautiful outside!"
I don't get out much, I try to hide my face from the community. Me and James walk side by side. He has made me feel so beautiful. Yet he barley done anything. As we are walking my hand accidentally collides with his. I hold back my smile, but he doesn't. Maybe he liked it, or thought it was funny? After that I kept my hands to my sides, or out of the way from his to avoid that awkward situation. We don't talk much, besides the occasional small talk about family and school. It's nice to soak up the sun but it's odd. It's odd not feeling my hair blow in the wind, instead it's my hat.
My hat flys off of my head and James runs to retrieve it. He really is a sweet guy. I imagined him to be a jerk, a stereotypical good looking jock ballerina.

We have been gone for about a half hour and before I step inside he says his goodbye.
" I enjoyed spending the day with you Amber, let's hangout soon."
"Defiantly , I enjoyed it too!"
He gently kisses me cheek in a quick, sweet manor. I blush, but try to act normal. But I can't, on the inside I'm freak out! James just kissed me! His soft lips touched my face! I smile and wave him goodbye as he backs out of my drive way.

"How was it?" My mothers voice bursts my little happiness bubble.
"It was fine."
"Just fine? I don't believe that."
"Well it was."
I quickly went to my room to avoid any more conversation.