sokeefe oneshots!

20- lovesick ii

It's been a few weeks.

If for some reason you forgot, my best friend kid of broke my heart and led me on and off for almost ever. With realizing it!

No, my mom said i need to stop thinkinh about what happened and stop trying to prove my point. (Obviously im right.)

So basically in between that terrible night and right now i've been sulking around, studying, working, and crying. A great rotation, right?

Surprisingly i've kept my grades up and even though i show up almost everywhere with glassy eyes and a frown, it doesnt matter because i'm still there.

If this was the oscars and i had to give a speech for 'Most Heartbroken When Not Even In a Relationship' award, the first person i woud thank would be Biana.

This woman is literally a goddess i swear on my last cookie. That night i was hysterically sobbing (embarassing dont talk about it) Edaline called Biana dispite the fact it was 11 at night and she was probably doing her one hour bedtime routine. None the less, she was here before 6 tears dropped from my eyes, and stayed with me the whole night.

She talked me through it all night, and understood everything i said. She even brought facemasks.

Who knew a break-up could be so bad? I'm one of my only friends that hasn't gone through one, until now. Linh has twice, Biana has countless times, Maruca a few times over 3, and so on.

After a bit i felt like i was over-eggagating what happened. Like, everyone was saying sorry and bringing stuff like my dad died or something. I literally just got screwed over by a blonde guy. Biana and Linh have been in relationships that lasted 2 years. And i mean after a week or maybe less, they were almost just fine. But for me, it's been almost 5 weeks and everytime i walk in a door i feel ike someone is rubbing my back or smiling at my sadly

Anyway, you are definitly waiting to hear about Keefe. Should we call him that? Maybe we should call him, Evan? Or Theo? Maybe Ari? Okay Ari. Remember that.

So Ari and I havent talked since the whole screaming-match-breakdown. I've passed him in the halls at school but always avoided eye contact. He's tried to reach out and apologize (as he should) but i dont know if i'm even ready to hear it. Once in spanish last week, he tried to partner up with me and i told him a have special permission to work alone. Obviously i didnt, but he didnt care enough to ask the teacher so i was off the hook.

I'm not gonna lie, i havent seen him everyday at school. At first, like after the screaming-match-breakdown, i saw him 2 maybe 3 times a week at school. Then the week after that everyday execpet one. Then i saw him once a week, and maybe somewhere out in town.

See, everytime he showed up to school he looked absolutely terrible. Not even kidding. Like messed up hair, dirty clothes i saw him in the last week, he always just looked shaken.

At first this gave me tons of satifaction because, well obviously, he should be missing me! But then it made me sad, and i started to worry about his mental health.

I'm actully so nice that i took to asking some of Ari's friends how he was holding up. And get this, none of them have heard almost anything from him. Like, short texts. Examples; 'yeah man i'm good.' 'i'm fine.' 'super busy can't talk.'

Thats what I say when i'm sad and depressed or i just dont answer at all. So that brings us to now.

My job is boring. All i do all day is stock up books and run the register. Other than me being bored, it's a a pretty chill job. It's usually quiet, the people dont really complain. And i work with nice old ladies that promised to teach me to embroider!

Anyway tonight was one of those late 1am shifts. Why a bookstore was open that late? Don't ask me.

So i'm stocking up the fantasy section, reading the summary of the new book that just got ordered in. (That was going on my to-be-read list and i get a discount!) Whensomeone tapped me on the shoulder.

I sighed. Well dont blame me it was almost 12:30 am! So i put on my smile, stood up and turned to face the customer.

"Hi! How may i assist-" I stopped. As if i could continue. I bet you already guessed who it was.

Ari.

But seeing him in the shape he was in, lets be kind and call him by his name i guess.

Keefe was standing infront of me. Hands in pockets, one head phone in. Glasses on like he was too tired to put on contacts, a beanie thrown over messy hair, grey sweats, and a flannal over a brown hoodie that said 'plant some seeds save some trees.' I remember i got him that for his birthday.

"I-" I stuttered. "How may i assist you, sir?" My voice was low. "Just a reminder we do close in about 30-"

"Sophie." He interuppted.

We just stared at eachother. I swear the amount of time we gazed into eachothers eyes, i could have filed my mom and dads taxes.

"You can't be here." I said.

"You need to hear my apology. It's driving me crzy you don't know how much it's driving me crazy."

I honestly really did give me satifascion that he came to me work to apologize to me. But closing shift and five weeks later?

I sighed. "Just say what you need to say."

"Okay. I- I'm so sorry sophie. I swear i didn't mean to lead you on and-"

"You didn't mean to? You knew what you were doing. Dont make excuses, i really dont have time for them." I was very proud of myself in that moment for standing up for myself.

"Soph, you've always been my best friend. And obviously i've had those thoughts of what we could be. But i was always just so scared it would ruin our friendship. So i went along with the way you acted towards me, without saying anything."

"Keefe, we have years of history. And yeah, who knows if it would have worked out? But we wouldnt have known until trying. For you to be scared of going foward in what could have been the best things in our lives, well thats just a coward move."

"I know. And you don't understand how much i've regretted it these past few weeks."

"Keefe..."

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Sophie. Just that you understand. You'll always be my biggest 'what if'"

I didnt know what to say. So many thoughts we're running through my mind that i couldnt place a finger on any of them.

"I do understand, Keefe. And i'll always have feelings for you. But... maybe i should live my life a little."

He smiled. "I think we both need to get out there a little bit."

"Yeah," I laughed. I wrapped him in a hug and kissed him on the cheek before letting go. "Thank you for everything."

"Woahh, we're still friends, right?"

"Yes! Of course. Just a little space." I smiled.

"Okay." He sighed with relief. "I'll catch you tomorrow then?"

"something like that." I said. "I should finish up this work and go home."

"Have a good night."

After he left my boss was so close to firing me for taking forever to close up, i had no time to think about Keefe.

But now, I don't know if i'll ever be able to be with anyone else.

I'm still way to hung up on him.

A/N
sry this was bad i got bored <3