the outsiders imagines;)

them as stupid shit i've done;

a/n: i've seen this multiple times before and they make me giggle so i figured why the fuck not.

Pony;

ok so when i was about three or four i was eating a midnight snack with my mom in the kitchen. and for some odd reason i had one of those little knives that are safe for children to use next to me. and i was like "mom what happens if it cuts me" and she was like "no it won't cut you it's a safety knife." and i was like "yes it will." and i dead ass looked her in the eyes and started sawing away at my finger with the knife until it cut my finger open. AND SHE LET ME.

Sodapop;

so this was also when i was about three or four and i had this cute ass little dog. she was a pomeranian shitzu mix and she was still very much a puppy. my aunt and uncle had a big ass mf dog at their house and they used to let me sit on it. so i figured why not put my four year old little ass on my twelve pound dog and see what happens. wrong. i sat on my dog and she collapsed and started crying profusely. 

Two Bit;

so i actually don't remember this, but my mother does so here we go. i was about three or four again and i had apparently been locked up in my bathroom for a little bit. and then i came out holding an empty bottle of hand sanitizer and walked up to my mom and said "mommy this tastes yucky." ofc my mom start freaking the fuck out bc she thinks her three your old just drank a bottle of hand sanitizer and then to make matters worse i started to act funny, so she called an emergency room and told them that her three your old just drank hand sanitizer and was drunk as shit. i went to the er and turns out i really didn't drink as much of it as she thought.

Steve;

okay so this one is more recent, like maybe two years ago. and i had just moved into my new house and it had a pool and me and my friend were swimming. when we were done we decided to take a shower (in our swimsuits). so we're just casually talking in the shower and then she's like "you need to get one of those rubber mats in here so you don't slip." and then my cocky ass was like "i'm not gonna fall" and then right after i said that i turned around to grab something and slipped and hit my head on the shower wall.

Dallas;

okay so this one isn't as stupid as it is funny. so me and my friend were swimming in my pool like a month ago and she was laying at the bottom and it gave me an idea. i was like "you should lay at the bottom of the pool, and i'll do a handstand on your shoulders." being the dumbasses we are we thought this sounded great. first time around went perfectly, but that wasn't good enough for us. i have a chlorine pool so it hurts to open your eyes under water yk and i was too lazy to put on goggles so i kinda guesstimated where her shoulders would be when i went to go into my handstand but instead of grabbing her shoulders, I GRABBED HER BOOBS ON ACCIDENT. and then the third time we tried to fix it my head hit her stomach, which made her knee me in the head and when we came up we were laughing and as i was trying to breathe in some fresh air THIS BITCH TRIED TO KILL ME. she accidentally flung water down my throat WHILE I WAS INHALING and i went into a coughing fit that lasted five minutes, i swear my life flashed before my eyes.

Johnny;

this took place when i was about six and my dad had a roommate around his age so they were both kinda like father figures to me at the time. anywho, the three of us were having a cookout, except for my lazy ass wanted to stay inside. the only issue with that is we lived in an apartment and we lived on the third floor, the top floor. so they had to go all the way downstairs to grill so i stayed upstairs alone. after a little bit of time i got lonely, so i decided i was gonna go down and find them, but when i opened the door i saw this old ass lady and her creepy ass little cat and i slammed the door shut and BOLTED THAT BITCH shut. i started cry and when my dad and his roommate were pounding at the door trying to get in I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CAT OR CONSTRUCTION WORKERS LOL BYE.

Darry;

ight so when i was two some dumbass had the bright idea of giving me plastic high heels and then my parents left me unsupervised for like two fuckin minutes and my bitch ass decided it would be cool to RUN in my high heel. so i'm running down the hallway and SNAP i broke my fuckin leg. but like it's also kinda karma bc two weeks before i pushed a little girl with a broken leg to the floor at school bc she was walking too slow. moral of the story karma's a bitch and don't run in heels.