Covid 19 Story Time

Story Time #16

I went to go visit my great aunt in L.A. As much as it sounds a bad idea, I did. I found out something really important and to say that I had a great time over there would be an understatement. My aunt has cancer. Breast Cancer. I've known for a while, and I had known that it was impacting her life a lot. I'm not exactly sure what stage of cancer she has because she didn't want to talk about it.

I remember going a month ago. She had called my mom for emotional support because she wasn't feeling well. She was depressed and she had found it hard to get out of bed sometimes. Her husband works during the day so she probably felt lonely. Going over there, I had thought that I would find my great aunt crying, or in bed. But she wasn't. My great aunt is a real strong woman. She gave us hugs and invited us inside her house. She joked about how chemotherapy was making her hair fall out, and about how she had to start wearing a bandanna to cover up. She looked happy. She looked as spontaneous as ever, and when I heard her talk about how she's trying to keep a positive attitude I congratulated her. Being the strong woman she is, she went about her day like usual and we followed her. When we left, I felt good. Despite how much she felt like crying she kept going strong. She is, going to make it through this. I thought. She is brave, and strong and caring. Her husband cares for her a lot and it seemed like there was nothing she couldn't do. She had mentioned she was feeling depressed on the phone, and she still is, but when I had gone over there she seemed like she was still hanging on. She wanted to get better and continue her food business. In fact, she had been getting calls from caring customers about when she was going to be preparing food again.

Then I went this Saturday to visit her again and check up on her. I greeted her at my cousins house and gave her a big hug. I actually went to go hang out with my cousins all day, so it was from my parents that I found out how she had been doing. My great aunt, Tia Juana I call her. Is not doing well at all. I have to be careful with my choice of words, because I know my mom will be reading this and I don't want to make her cry. My great aunt hasn't been eating. Everything she eats, she throws up. Her eyesight is blurry now and she says sometimes everything goes white. Her stomach often feels like it's hot or burning and she can't function without someone there to take care of her. She needs to be watched over and requires assistance to go to the restroom. Her depression is worse now and she told my mom "Ya me quiero ir." Which translates to "I want to die already." She spoke to my mother about how she just wanted to give up and stop doing chemo therapy. She was tired of fighting she said. Getting up from bed and showering now required people to help her. She even hid some things from my mother and father. She avoided certain topics (which is understandable), such as talking about how she truly felt, but my mother said you could see it in her eyes. When I talked to her in the patio she sounded off in a sense. Like if there was a part of her acting to keep me thinking she's alright. I didn't want to question her, especially not with how I knew she had been feeling but I'm sure everyone could tell she wasn't doing well. Her husband likes to chat with my father and he mentioned that if she died, he would too. 

I love my Tia Juana. She's an amazing person and she's one of those people that everyone likes. She's super easy to get along with and she lights up every room she walks into. My mother asked me to write something about her. Here it is. I want to write something amazing about her, like the person she is. I can't right now though. Not with what I've found out. I usually write happy, dumb stuff. I want to end this story saying "I have hope she will be alright! She's already been getting better!". I don't want to sound cruel, or like a monster but if I'm thinking realistically, I'm not sure she will make it through this anymore. I will never tell her this of course, I will keep on assuring her that she will be fine. That she is loved and that there is more to come. Though, I feel as if accepting this will help ease the pain when the time comes. It might not, probably won't in fact. But it  gives me a sense of stability. As dumb as it sounds. That's all, and thanks for reading.