Sister protection program

35•interview

I'm on new medication to balance my anxiety better and to prevent my anxiety attacks and blacking out. Meanwhile it's been pretty peaceful.

I'm actually not sure if it's peaceful, or the boys are keeping all the drama away from me scared of me having an episode.
The doctor told them they should try to keep my stress levels down. I suppose it's working, but it is weird having people be all weird around you.

Liz made me take off of work for a week, which wasn't necessary, but she insisted.
Today is my first day back.
But the boys are driving me insane.

"Hey lil I'll get that" Micheal would say grabbing my trey of food I was carrying out of the kitchen.
"..ok?"

"Can someone grab table 12?!" Ashton yells out.
"On it!" I say grabbing my order taking notepad. "No I got it lil don't worry" Luke said beating me to the table.

I sigh walking to my only table I have at the moment. "Hey guys here's your drinks!" I say setting down one glass, then two, then three smiling at the cute family.
I hear water hit the floor as I am walking to the kitchen to see the little girl at my table has knocked over her glass.

"No worries I'll be right back!" I say turning to get a rag off of one of the counters, I run to the table but Ashton was already there with his rag, cleaning up the mess.
"Oh, you already got it" I mumble.

Calum and I make eye contact a few times through the day as we run around getting our tables.

I wish things were different.
But Liz was right, she told me I have to let what is, let be.
I have too much going on to worry about a boy or relationships. It's not good for my health, physical or mental.

Soon the day goes by and we're doing our end-of-day cleaning routine once again. I look to the counter but the boys have grabbed all the rags.
"I don't have a rag-" I say confused turning around to the boys already cleaning.
"Oh yeah. We got used to cleaning while you were gone, it's okay really" Micheal brushes it off.

"THATS IT!" I yell.
The boys stop and stare in confusion.
"I can't take this anymore! STOP IT!"
"Stop wh-" Ashton starts to ask
"Stop babying me! Stop treating me differently! Gosh I can't take it anymore! I'm on medication now! And even if I wasn't: waiting more than three tables in a day isn't going to cause an episode! But babying me will!" I say out of breath and slouch.
"Lillian sit down" Luke says coming closer. I stand straight and glare at him. He backs off.

"We're sorry. We can't help it" Ashton confesses. "Yeah, sorry" Micheal mumbles scratching his neck.
"There's another rag under counter" Calum says continuing to wipe his tables. That's probably the first thing he's said to me since he walked out that day.

____

"Ready?" Luke asks buttoning the top button of his shirt.
I sigh looking out the window. Whenever I'm at the Hemmings' house I can't help but to look down the halls or out the window and picture the memories I could've had here.
I should've had here.
It's bitter sweet. I wish I could've grown up with Liz and Luke, but then I wouldn't have known Sam.
"Ready as ill ever be" I say looking to him.

"You don't have to answer any question you don't want to, okay?" He asks coming closer.
"I know how interviews work, Luke."
He nods. "We better get down there" he says looking at his watch.
"Yeah" I mumble as we make our way to the stairs. Looking over the railing I see all the camera crews and wires, cameras, and nicely dressed people already set up in the large living room.

We come down and a middle aged Asian woman with short hair and petite body comes to us. "Hello, I am Venessa Chang from Nightly News, I'll be asking the questions today. It's so nice to meet both of you" she smiles shaking our hands.
"You too" Luke smiles being polite.
"I've already met Liz, such a nice lady! You guys are so lucky to have her as a mom" she remarks. I still don't know how to feel when people call her my mother.
At this point I don't feel right when either woman is referred to as my mother.

Liz comes around the corner. "Oh don't you guys look so nice!" She compliments us.
"Luke I haven't seen you in a button down since your aunt Hazel's wedding six years ago" she jokes.
I realize I haven't met any of my actual extended family yet. I think of all the family gatherings I should've been in photos of.

"Alright, we're ready for you two!" Venessa says shaking me out of my thoughts.
We sit down on the couch, eminently noticing the bright lights shining directly at us.

"Here love" Liz says coming around to me putting a black clip on my index finger.
"What's this?" I ask very confused.
"It's to monitor your pulse and oxygen levels." Luke responds. "It'll make a sound if you're pulse or oxygen get to high or low so have a good idea if you're about to pass out" she says almost in a whisper. I roll my eyes without thinking.

Luke puts a hand on my shoulder.
"You'll do great" He says and gives a reassuring smile.