Thou Hath Fallen

Tis so Sweet~1

Trust me M the red haired nurse uttered as she drew near.Her red long manicured claws playing with the syringe.I swear the green substance in it was fizzling as she drew near.I was hugging myself in a corner after all if I was crazy then playing the part was in order.Rocking myself back and forth as I hummed some ancient tune.She expected me to reply?What did she know of trust?Her lips were pulled into a tight line.No warmth radiating from her and I had to trust her!The green menance in her hand did that strange dance-swirling back and  forth in a teasing dance.

Her lips were moving and as if on cue the tempo in my hum rose.Unicorns and marshmallows.Candy and Santa.Good thoughts M  and it would be over.As always it stung as the buzz set in.It was getting louder, colours seemed more radiant,the air speckles seemed to bounce up and down.Her smile so scary that it sent chills on my back.But what scared the hell out of me was the voices.They were drumming in my mind.They sought answers.Answers I wouldn't or rather couldn't give.The drumming ceased and the shredding started. I screamed as I held onto the thoughts of Easter bunnies and sir Rudolph.But even they could do so much.

"How do you feel M?"Her practiced concerned voice tried to pull me out of my reverie

I growled.How did she expect me to feel?The shredding had stopped but the stomping had started.My lips were  trembling as tears fell recklessly mixed with my sweat.If I was bleeding too, no surprise there.My rhythm had been broken.I was not rocking back and forth but shaking.She turned her back and left like all the others had
done.

Trust.How that word rolled of sweetly off their tongues.Vipers.At least with the reptiles  I could see it coming.They called themselves believers of humanity but there was no bone of human in them.They wanted trust?If there was something I could count on,was the pain they inflicted.So I did trust them but not for the reasons their brainwashed heads thought.

Hallelujah and Glory be's I bet they were saying right now..Sin dark as blood they spilled and called themselves snow white and snow man.Their last name was White but even black was too white for them.Mary and John White my accursed parents.My name?I wish I knew.A heart could only take so much and the brain could only take an ounce more till the flame sizzled and died out.
Say I was prolonging my ounce as I  reached out for strength from unknown places.

Tis so sweet to trust but in whom?

The stomping ceased,the daggers ceased and what was left was my hum.I don't know how it survived my screams and tearing.I could always count on my hum.I had even named her.She was Rose.When my cheeks reddened with pain,Rose and I could always pretend I looked rosy and glowy.My hum, my song, my best friend.

I could talk before I was one.
I could write before I was two.
I could solve puzzles before three.
My dance that of a ballerina
My rate of fathoming? unbelievable
My perceiving? dangerous
I beat myself to be better
My mistake? I did it for them
Yet I was never man enough
Someday? Definitely.

I stood, all spent out and shit but I stood and went to my tiny coat where rose and I would talk till sleep a soft and blissful one would take over.I wished.I knew would not come but I wasn't loosing anything by wishing.Blue skies and green land scapes-Rose and I continued.

My white washed room had nothing that stood out except me of course. A coffee mug, a rag for a blanket and my sketch pad.I drew?Nada.What did I do then?

I foresaw.it wasn't something I could control but you know science and all had to get an explanation for everything.I was stuck in here until they could explain what was wrong with this labrat but sometimes what was wrong is that there was nothing wrong.Man was too flawed to doubt another could achieve perfection.
What had I foresaw?Going,Going,Gone. Why did it scare the pooh out of them? I don't care.

Sleep baby please come tonight.Let your perfume embrace me tonight.Rose will be jealous but just tonight baby.Thank You for my droopy eyelids,it's the farthest you have taken me for months now.I won't hurt you Sleep.I give you my word.Silver and gold I have none but my word is all I have.Take it sleep we know you want

And sleep took over.

Until I saw.Green turn gory and black.Oaks opening up their roots and tendrils and shot them up to the skies.Until I saw.Blood dropping instead of rain.Until I heard.Her cry for help.I tossed and turned like every other night.

Baby sleep was scared.I could not force her to give herself to me.It was only me and Rose-Waterfalls and sandy beaches.My hum, my everything.The itch to put down what I saw took over and I could not resist the charm,the exotic shades as I held my painting brush and let it take over.The excitement, the tension as my dream took form.I could not stop until I was satisfied with how it exerted itself.It felt too real too disregard it.It just hard to be right.The oak, the blood,the skies,her.Hold up! I couldn't paint her because I hadn't seen her.Frustration was seeping into me.I had felt her but how could I paint a freaking feeling.The ambience I could but..my mind wanted to draw her but I couldn't. Disappointment set in as the attacks came. Seizure like touches.I had failed her and she was punishing me.

The screams started.

I could not stop them as they spilled out.Long yells tripping over each other.Rose came to my rescue again.We hummed-strawberries and blondes.I hugged my bones as I rocked  myself.I was going to be okay.I always was. I wouldn't fail her next time. I vowed not to.

It felt  like centuries before they came. The blue torches, their white overalls.Poking at my skins as they held me down.It was all distant.Why did I have to see now I was going to the torture lab where they would start assessing me like some alien.The screams were still streaming out and I could not stop them. The drips, the distant murmurs,the anaesthesia.No! Not again!They wouldn't dare crack my head open for the umpteenth time.

Who was I kidding?They dared.
And as the lights went out, fear was the least of my worries

Sleep, tis so sweet that I had you after all.

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