Thou Hath Fallen

Archs and Rainbows~5

Her,

She dragged herself back to her tiny apartment.It was a representation of how independent she had become and despite the mortgage,she was not willing to let it go.Her petite frame did not come naturally.It was a result of the one meal a day she had resulted to so as to cater for her child.She was not poor nor rich.The in between class was the hardest to maintain after all.

Child services had knocked on her door one too many times.She was not a bad mother-far from it.She just hadn't gotten a hold of this steering wheel that was motherhood.There was no memo that it was coming just the endless nausea attacks as it kicked in.Danny didn't deserve this but he would have to make do with her

The new sprint would be all kinds of crazy but she had jumped right in.Too late to back of.The pastries had greased their brown paper packs but the were still warm.Donuts with his favourite coconut sprinkles-yum.She maneuvered her way down the streets thinking that she would need to visit the farmer's market soon and get some groceries.Danny needed a proper meal now that he was two and growing.

She picked him up from her kind neighbor Mary but even kindness could grow old.

"Momma, look Gromma gave me a car vrooom."Danny said as he jumped into his mother's waiting arms.

"Did she now?"Kendra asked her son as she mouthed a thank you to her kind neighbor.

"Momma got me donuts yaaaay.Danny wants mummy."The over excited started his cute melodrama as they walked to their warm home.

"Goodnight dear"

"Kalispera Mary."

He was stuffed with the fluffy donuts and could not just sleep.She knew no lullaby,tired and agitated but from whence did the strength come from as she smiled at her blessing dressed as a curse.

She settled to listening as he chattered away. His innocence radiating from his bubbly cheeks.Tales so innocent that she laughed with him as she cradled him.Her dawn and dusk.Her little Danny so fervent in making her love him more.

"Momma love you."

" Love you too baby."She cooed as he flashed him his big Danny smile and his fluttering eyelids welcomed a sweet slumber.She rocked him back and forth and went into their bedroom where she laid and tucked him in.

Sun rose by and by
Laughter was charmed
Giggles,snorts
Forever.
You promise?
I promise.

As the water ran down her body,she cried for the who knows what time.Her small fists bruising on the glass.Memories is all she had left.She knew he was going and truth is she screamed a hallelujah when he went.The water did grow cold and she had to get out of the shower before she got a cold.As she towel dried her small frame,sleep beckoned.Putting on a nightshirt,she crawled right next to her son.

She murmured her only prayer-better days.

A promise for no more hurt.The comforting rainbow.The soft snores of Danny were the last thing she had as sleep took over.

Look at the skies and remember me
But the blue skies turned grey
And she did remember

******†****†

I knew the sleep was too good to be true.The tossing, the turning,the screams.I was good hours ago but why was I screaming.I needed to get a grip.I wanted not bad days but would you blame when good days came,all I wondered is when it would end and the darkness set in

"What now!"The grouchy nurse I hated came in with her cheeks flushed,her lipstick smeared over.

Oops, I had probably destroyed some heated make out session.My screams knew what knocking was.Rose was also tired of them I guess.People talk of safe places in their minds but when the mind is the enemy what then? Don't tell me to run for cover in the world.I had seen that, heard it and it was not all that promising.

I was okay then I was not.As the sedatives kicked in my screams grew rugged and all was left of them were moans.I know it's crazy but the attacks sometimes manifested as anguish and pain.What kept me going?I guess it was that rainbow at the end of the tunnel.

Flashback..........

"What are you doing!"

"I can't stop them...I have to draw papa."

"Shut up you have to do nothing."He said as he ripped the page I had been working on and crumpled it like it was nothing.

"How about some candy."He would say as he forced it into my mouth.

"Now that is better...sanity for once."She said as she watched him stuff the candy into my restless mouth.

I puked,she told me to clean it up.

This went on until I sketched on their white countertops.I was no naughty kid but his continuous shredding of my worksheets had left me with no other form of release.

What had I drawn to have them send me away?
Their bodiless heads.

End of flashback......

For the remainder part of the night, I slept rather fell into an abyss that ensured I kept on falling.Safe houses and safe havens happened after dark episodes why not before?Then again if they were available before,man would be likened to a sloth who took no particular joy in walking let alone fighting.

An arch would be great though.When the rain did fall down, its archy walls would keep it all out.Too much thinking for one night.The darkness won as gravity gave way.The falling did grow old but the ground never came.It felt like I was suspended in time dimensions where none of my senses worked.

Hold on tight
But a thread can only do so much
Stay put
But the hands are bleeding raw
Don't cry
But the tear ducts are bursting its banks
Then what?
Allow me to let it out anyway
No.
No?

Masters and the bastards.An archer and his target.Balance so sane and divine.Its touch, a pure breed of welcoming.Touch it back and dishevels would rain.
Catapults and their pull.
They pull back then release and as the curtains fall,the watcher screams shots fired.

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