Thou Hath Fallen

Heather's Reunion-15

I hate good byes.Eleven hates them too.However,he was more mature about it than I could ever be.Not that I knew what maturity entailed but for a man frozen at eight years I did come out okay,no complaints there.To whom would my farewells grace? Definitely not the slutty nurse with the green menance called medication.

Wait up! No hugs?No I miss you? Just Eleven and his ragdoll.I would never belittle the friendship Eleven gave me but still.....
One was better than nothing I guess and with that I stopped my whining.

Two years had definitely not elapsed but a certain father could not handle his guilt for a mere twenty four months.He was doing this for me?Of course not.Was he really all that repentant?Maybe that was the lie he told himself over and over again.As long as he could sleep better at night,a good deed was due and I was no chooser or a sucker for foolish ego.

M  was a man alright.Difference was I had certain tastes and stupidity was not included in the list.A bruise to my self respect you say?
What more could that do to an already disfigured face? Probably add some colour.I would not mind a bit of purple.

Back to Eleven and his searching eyes.So,how did you do this bye thing?

"Eleven...."

"Yes Uncle M.."

"I am leaving."The acid wielding words I uttered as I saw a hope once fresh shatter.

"Oh.."

"Yes oh Eleven.I will be visiting though."

"Don't make promises you can't keep to Beanie and me."The little boy whispered as he bit his bottom lip so hard trying not to cry.I wondered how he had not bled yet.

I was straying from the wet lashes on his face.The searching.The plea in his eyes.The tremor in his jaw.The defeated stance he wore and how he clung to Beanie.Though, truthfully I think Beanie the ragdoll was the one holding on to him.

"I did not promise Eleven.."

"Oh..."

"Just Oh?"

"What more can I say uncle?"

"Something along the lines of you hate me."I said hopeful that he would grant me the punishing words I so much desired but then Eleven was wired differently I guess.
Too much goodness!

"When?"He asked any trace of his previous grief all but gone from his face.If the daggers scissoring and cutting through our bond was anything to go by,my insides were throbbing and burning from the frictional engagement.His understanding was no grease to make it bearable. it was somewhat a hopeful rust.Cancel hopeful.Rust and more rust.

"We are going to spend the whole night together."Eleven decided with a small smile touching his tortured lips-my sexual orientation unintended!

"We are?"It was more of a grimace than a question.How did one do the letting down easy thing?
And no there is no bone in me all sensitive and gooey!

"One final gossip about these crackheads."He wiggled his eyebrows in what I concluded was a tempting way.

"Like old idle ladies?" I asked trying to forget the actual reason we were doing this.

"Definitely old but not idle ones."Eleven said as he hiccuped on one of those bouts of laughter only he could pull off.

Would my untimely release make me go back to sanity in like one wave of a majik wand?You know the kind that went bada bing bada boom and voila!All set for the world.
Set for what exactly?Defeat or the other one whose name I would not mention just to stay on her good side?

Today I was legally insane.
Tomorrow,not an ounce of a crackhead in me.If this was not majik then what could possibly be!

Sleep
Wake up
But....
No buts just follow the damn procedure
And one rebel did rule over the routinee
And another  rebel a heap became
To whom did the trophy go
Neither
What a two pence story!
Indeed... that is if it was a story

Night did set in and Eleven cradled in my tiny cot a fascinating memory on his lips.It was about some woman who kept on twirling on her wobbly feet and I don't know why I laughed but Eleven was just gifted that way.

The slutty nurse,the chubby guard, the cook who acted like a five star expert as he served  us a bowl of pudding.We talked of anything and everything except for my departure.I bet we even talked about
the yellowing walls-not to keep the conversation going but enjoying every silly and boring things we shared.

I was very protective of Rose but I did tell Eleven about her. I expected him to snort and laugh but he just nodded in understanding and even suggested that we introduce Beanie to Rose.

My hum as always shunned every male pumped being even Beanie.What level of biasness Rose!At this rate she would remain single forever and ever and what went after ever.Rose just stuck her tongue out and left Beanie to talk to himself.

Crazy?Nuh, not by tomorrow's standing anyway.

A fire burning but as a suicide proclaimed moth, I reached out.Not with doubting hands but a thrusting force and as the warmth of friendship burned and sizzled me into an unappealing crisp coal,I wondered if there was a tiny part of me that was sadistic.Then I comforted myself that there was no crime in friendship but what if it burned and dug a chunk out of your being?Did that make it universally illegal or we just had to suck it up and human up!

And where did they teach this human up decorum? Most likely in a war laden place like life?

Pain old and new could mix to form a thing that ought not exist- more pain.

As I grieved over friendship,I knew this pain was not just Eleven bound.It was something  along the lines of gaping gums and matching caps.

The sayings of old
In an atomised society?
What a disastrous anomaly!

As Eleven snored his pig like snore,which bothered me not, I contemplated on where exactly I was going.With my new life and everything,a new town or city would be awesome right?A new identity too.I could be a doctor,a truck driver or join the military and attain some semblance of order.They say to stick with what you know but what if there was not much you knew?
Then learn, they would counter but....

No buts
But didn't the what ifs make sayings all the more intriguing?
Not transfixed but living.

Lycassira.I was going to my first home.Where it all started.Nope I was not taunting any ill memories just...
Okay I don't know why but I was going and no, the wretched whites did not live there and would not expect me to go back there.See?Lycassira was not that bad.
Tomorrow.A promise.A dread.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°′°°°
She would visit the grave and he would be there.Not lying there as he ought to be or in some two dimensional floating pale form.
He would be there,his bronze kissed skin touching the sun set in a not so neat disarray.Then like any damsel in distress she would run.However,she would run not to his waiting arms but  away from him.
A creep.
A stranger

Totally changed were the times and Heather would not recognise her best friend,her saving grace,her M.

How unreliable a memory could be! Atleast one that had faded over time.
Once again thanks but no thanks Mister Time!