Thou Hath Fallen

Hushed Voices~4

Mister Time has me in awe.He is always on the move,never stopping.He is endless.He is a thorn at the same time a balm.And just like me,he sees.He watches as history great and small gets made.The thing that worries me is  that he shows you but never speaks.A silent gatekeeper who seems not to share in his wisdom.But if you look closely,you will see him with a platter of what he knows.To partake of what he gives?A relative choice.

I was sketching what I had seen.Rain but it was coming from the ground.Why did I call it rain then? Because it was sprouting and reaching out to the skies.The sad thing is it did not quite reach the realm.On it's onward journey it would splutter all round and form beautiful water jets.What did it all mean?I cared not to think on that.

As days went by,I was getting edgy.What would it be like if I got out? Would I like it or would it be another hellhole?Rose took over as I hummed about leprechauns and rainbows.We sang,her leading as I followed then we would merge and sing as one.
Yes I know Rose was a hum.No, I was not crazy to think of her as a person.I just visualized the melody as we bled emotions into each other.It was purely majik-try it sometime.

The door cracked open as two cloaked figures came in accompanied by my therapist.

"M? Will you want to mix up with the rest?"My therapist cooed almost as if she was waving a popsicle to a ten year old.

I knew she was just following protocol.The decision had already been made elsewhere.Her words were like music to my ears but of course I kept that to myself. One of them took my sketchbook and I growled. Thirsty mongrels!

"M,come down.You want him to leave it?"my shrink sweet talked me as if I was a seven year old.

Times like these I wondered if I was really crazy.Two decades was pretty long a time for any one to change.Being in confinement did not help the matter in the least.

Their bulky hands,their six feet tall frames, their walk even was enough to intimidate anyone-except me.I knew behind that facade they were trembling and standing in awe of me.Is it how I looked?
How the hell would I know that? I did not know how my face looked like.Was I handsome, average or plain hot?Mrs mirror ensured she didn't pass my way for my entire existence so I had no idea

I thus settled for average.

No need to put my hopes up high for something so minimalistic.Anyway, they grabbed a hold of me a little too roughly as they led me out of my home.

Home.What is it really?All I knew is that when all other walls gave way,the four white walls of my 'cell' stood.The constant in all the unpredictability that surrounded me.Yes they were now olden and yellowy but that didn't matter to me.Want to know why? Because they stood by me anyway.And I loved them for that.Not the warm fuzzy feeling but the breezy comforting feeling.

"Doc.....why?" I wondered out aloud.

"To make you all better M."The words spilled out of her smiling face.

"What if I don't want to get better doc?Am okay really."

"But your records say otherwise M.You have a malignant tumor and we must find ways to manage it.And well you being crazy isn't helping much."

"Am not crazy doc...."

"That's what all of them say."She shook her head emphatically.

"Doc are you...you know crazy?"

"Ofcourse not M."

"Gotcha doc.now  that is settled, let's go shall we milady."

The shock on her face was to die for.She was quacking like some duck when she tried to defend herself.Cute!Funny how it was next to impossible to bend a biased mind like hers.Who was right or wrong?In my own right I was probably crazy as it gets.A smartmouth and mental blended to create me.I was not too keen to interact with my fellow crackheads just yet.Was I sociopath?How the hell would I have known that!

The doors were opened into some hall and the panic attacks knocked endlessly at my door.How I kept on walking was beyond me.My mind was picturing me running to my cot and never getting out of its embrace but my feet had some other motive.The smell of antiseptics, detergent, pudding, slime and more pudding was almost heady.Some were screaming,some brooding and others had that creepy hysterical laughter.Some just sat still doing nothing.

I grabbed a seat in the heavily guarded but still cuckoo friendly hall.One of my escorts placed my sketchbook with his clammy hands and headed out.They wouldn't have me fooled.I knew they were watching.There had to be monitors and cameras tucked somewhere.I would stay put until they came back for me.

"Am eleven what do they call you?"A bald boy came up to me.He had the most black eyes I had ever seen.He held a dirty bean bag doll.He was looking at me expectantly and that is when I remembered.

"M.... they call me that."

His eyebrows knit together in concentration and then he scowled at me.

"Beanie and me think that's one strange name."He said in between giggles.

"And who is Beanie boy?"I asked mildly amused.

He stretched the ragdoll to me and smiled.I went to reach out to take the doll then Eleven started screaming.

Great! Just great.

All eyes on us as the boy held onto his doll for dear life.And as if the spell had been broken the momentary silence ceased and the chattering and hysterics continued.Eleven laughed and jumped on my lap.How presumptuous of him.No harm done though.He was after all just but a boy.

"Friends?" He asked as he nuzzled into me.

"Yes, friends I guess." I said in between chuckles

"M you look less scary when you smile"The boy said in between yawns and his snores tickled my bare neck.

This time I drew as I thought of candlelight dinners and summer vigils.

Hours passed by and they came for me.Their hushed voices dancing round me.

"How was your first day M?"

"Uneventful, good I guess?"I said in between yawns.They hushed as they walked me back to my home.
And as the lock clicked in,I hurried onto my cot and slept a happy man.

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