wish you were sober - PJM x male reader

but i'm over this rollercoaster

—

Training camp is harsh on everyone. The entire day you dance competition with the other teams and you dance to win. So when the other teams arrive all you can do is wish you were at home and in bed. You watch closely when Johun's team arrives, curious to see what Jimin would have to say to him.

But the two captains ignore one another and just do what they're doing. You're glad the elder isn't picking a fight on just the first day, but also still too curious to find out what exactly was said.

You just sit in the grass, sipping on some water after morning practice. All you want is for Taehyung to arrive and to snatch him away from his team.

The past week has been exhausting. Your mind constantly at war with itself. Part of you knows you like Jimin, the other part know's you don't. It's an endless tug of war inside your brain that tires you out immensely. The fact that Jimin is constantly around doesn't help either. You feel like with him around you can't think about it properly. As if he's clouding your judgement.

You roll your eyes when Lehian's team arrives. Annoyed by the way Ojan throws himself at Jimin. Those two are too close. You're not saying this in a jealous way but as in a concerned best friend way. Ojan seems a bit off and you think it's best if Jimin wouldn't hang around such people. But who are you to say such a thing?

So instead you remain silent and just emotionlessly stare off into the distance, waiting for Taehyung who seems to always come in last. Ignoring the fact that Jimin is all over everybody but you.

You don't care, you just want Taehyung here. Then you can figure out what to do, maybe even come up with a plan to fix this.

"y/n!" Taehyung comes bouncing over, startling you out of your thoughts. You hadn't expected him, you had been too deep in thought to notice the bus arriving and him getting out.

You don't understand why Taehyung likes hanging around you so much, but you're not going to question it. You like it. But not in the same way as you like being around Jimin.

"Hi." You says looking up with squinted eyes.

"There's so much to talk about!" The first year says before glancing at his phone. "We have fifteen minutes before everything starts, good enough?"

"Guess so." You mumble as the younger takes a seat besides you a little away from the group. You've always wondered how Taehyung is so social without exhausting himself. It's as if he feeds on social interaction.

"Sorry I couldn't come when Namjoon and Jin visited." The younger says. "But I'm here now."

You remain silent, unsure of what to say. "You figured it out didn't you? That you like him?"

Wrapping your arms around your knees you shrug. You can't say it, you won't say it. You'll push it down until you forget about it. Your friendship is worth more than some silly crush.

"It's okay! Liking someone sucks but hey, at least he likes you back, right?"

With a frown you speak up. "What makes you think that?"

"Well he kissed you, didn't he? You only kiss someone when you like them!" Taehyung says naively. As if hooking up doesn't exist, the second time you kissed Jimin made it really clear that it was a mistake and he regrets it.

"He did kiss me, drunkenly." You point out. Do drunken kisses even count? Aren't they just dumb mistakes? Can it really be called a mistake if it happened twice?

"Don't they say—"

"It doesn't matter, I don't want anything from him." It's true, what is Jimin going to give you as boyfriend that he can't give you as best friend? Kisses? They're not worth that much. And you're not ready to move on further at all so you're not missing out on anything. Things are good they way they are, and that's final.