The Good, The Bad, and The Country

Regret

I don't know how long he had stood outside of my bedroom door knocking, and begging and pleading with me to try to get me to open the door, but that wasn't going to happen.

I shouldn't have let him kiss me. I should have just shaken his hand off of me and kept going to my room, but I didn't.

I couldn't.

It was like he had some kind of hold over me and I was powerless when it came to anything he said or did.

And that kiss?

Fuck, that kiss was unreal. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life, but I couldn't do anything about it because I couldn't be with him.

I wasn't going to fight another girl for him even if I did want him something fierce. She had him first, and as much as it broke my heart, she could keep him. I don't know if I could trust him anyway with how fast he can change when someone he knows comes around.

My head was starting to hurt from how hard I was thinking about this, and soon, I had drifted off into a deep sleep.

- Foster's POV -

FUCK! I'm an idiot!

I messed everything up just now!

Who am I kidding? I messed up that very first day she was here and I met her when Lola came calling and my stupid self left with her.

In case you're wondering, which I know you are, that first day I left with Lola, I had the full intention of sleeping with her...but I didn't. I just couldn't. Why?

Because my mind was way too preoccupied with a certain blonde, green eyed beauty that was new to town and I couldn't do anything with Lola because it just didn't sit well with me. I ended up just taking Lola home and dropping her off before leaving and driving around town trying to clear my head.

My little Darlin', Eloise, was something of a rare exotic treat here in Paddock.

Not a single person came to Paddock on purpose, they only happened to pass through while on their way to Ashville or Boone, two of North Carolina's bigger and more known towns.

But here was my Darlin' who came here on purpose with the full intention on staying here forever, and not leaving. She was different and I liked that.

She wasn't like the girls around here who were after me because I was good looking and they just wanted to say they had me, or wanted to have kids with me just so I had a reason to stay with them.

Never have I ever had a problem with getting a girl, but here I am, unable to get the only girl I have ever wanted because I'm too much of an idiot to think straight.

After kissing her and her bolting from me, I ran after her trying to get her to open the door so that we could talk.

What she had said hurt me. Toying with her emotions? I couldn't do that to her! Well, I may already have, but I didn't do it on purpose!

I don't even know how to be in a relationship. I'm like a bull. I find a heifer, fuck her, and then move on to the next. Fuck, I don't even know a damn thing about feelings or even what I'M feeling.

I do know that I have a soft spot for my little Darlin' because I gave her a nickname and I'm always trying to find a reason to come over to the Graham's so I can see her. I don't even know what the fuck that means!

I continued to knock on her door for an hour and a half before I finally realized that she wasn't going to answer especially since after she had first locked me out, I had heard her crying.