Dreamnotfound Oneshots

[3] Angel

TW: s*lf h*rm/suicide thoughts
alcohol mention, depression, gore mention
Do not read if you are sensitive to any of these topics!!!

"I just need some time to myself, okay?" "Okay. Come back soon though, I miss you already."

  It's been four days since we spoke last. I've done nothing since then, it feels like a lifetime ago since I've heard his laugh, his jokes, his voice, the way he says my name....but I deserve this and he doesn't deserve a burden like me. I know he's better off without me, everyone is. It's safer if I keep them all away from me, they dont need me, and they don't need to be worried. It's better if they don't even think of me at all. If I push them away they won't get hurt.

I looked at the clock and realized its 3am. Have I really just been  laying here all day? I feel like I just woke up... I look to the locked drawer at the bottom of my desk and stared for a minute before I felt myself get up and my body falling into an all too familiar pattern. Not like I can feel it anymore anyway; sometimes I think I should try harder, dig deeper, drag longer but somewhere in the back of my mind I'm scared of what would happen if I let myself go all the way. So I don't. I refrain though I want to just stop everything. It's all too much for me day in and day out. I'm so lost in my thoughts I barely notice the steady red stream running down the side of my leg and onto the floor. I stared for a moment wondering how numb you have to be to not even notice. I sighed out of my trance and picked up a nearby towel and pressed hard til it subsided. I redressed myself and decided to head out, not wanting to drown in my room again.

Walking up and down the streets of london I stopped at a nearby spirits store and picked up just about the hardest vodka they carried. I needed to distract myself from my own brain and what better way than alcohol. Half of the bottle was gone by that time I made it back home; and three fourths by the time I reached to roof of the building. I've lived here for years and yet I've never been to the roof, never even looked over the city once. I sat on the nearest ledge and dangled my legs off the side, closing my eyes and letting the cold air take me over. I scooted closer to the edge and leaned over a bit, letting the adrenaline in danger give me a rush of emotions I haven't been able to feel in months. It was addicting, every time I'd pull back Id stick more of me out over the edge to see just how far id go until I fell. It was then I started to lose the adrenaline rush and wanted to take it the extreme and just jump, take the initiative and just fucking do it.

I peered over the ledge once more and felt my phone ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out reluctantly and was annoyed to see that Dream was calling. Why couldn't he just leave me be? I know he doesn't need me, it was probably and accident anyways. I let it ring til it stopped and stood up on the ledge, balancing around with one arm out and the other holding the last of the bottle to my lips. My phone rang again but I left it to ring out once more. I got a notification saying I had received a voicemail, so I held my phone up to my ear and hit play. "Hey...uh George..I know you said you wanted time alone but I haven't heard from you in a few days and I just want to make sure you're doing alright. Call me back when you get the chance okay? I miss you and I'm honestly worried. I just want to know that you're okay. I..I love you." I sighed and shook my head.

I shouldn't call him back, it'll just distract me from what I need to do I put my phone down and sat back down, letting only one leg dangle over; I turned over so I could just lay there. That damn voice I thought Id do anything for him, all he has to do is say the word and i've already done it I pulled my phone from the ground and dialed him back. "George! God I was starting to get worried!" He said, I could just hear his smile. "George?? what's wrong? why aren't you speaking? can you hear me?" He said his voice starting to drip with worry. "mmm ijuss wanned to hear yourr voice agan" I slurred out closing my eyes. "Have you been drinking??" he asked raising his voice a little. I was silent for a moment then spoke "Iss really pretty ousidde didya know? stars are sooo bright ann everything looks soo peaceful when youre up above it alll" I sighed contently and opened my eyes to look at the stars. "Where are you???" He asked but I didnt answer him. It was completely silent for a few minutes, the only sound was the odd car passing on the streets below me. "What stars can you see?" Dream asked, I could tell he was trying to calm himself down for me. "mmm can see tha big dipper and the lil dipper and i can almst make out ursa major" I said quietly. " I heard a door open and shut on the other end and a bit of shuffling around. "Yeah? I see them too I also see Orion. Do you know how to find that one George?" he asked I shook my head before realizing he couldn't see me and mumbled out a no. "Look for three bright stars straight across, those form his belt and from there you should be able to find the star that makes up his armpit, then you can trace a line down to the rest of his arm and body." He said. I was quiet trying to follow the instructions he gave. "I founn it" I said with a light smile. "Good im glad he said. Maybe one day we'll be able to do this together in person, yeah? Just you and me I'll bring blankets and snacks and anything else you want." I closed my eyes again "that would be nicce" I responded, my words getting more coherent the more I spoke. "Then i'm going to need you to get down from wherever you are okay? Can you do that for me safely??" I looked over the edge for a moment more, then down at the ground before sitting up and swinging my feet back around and placing them on the ground. I stood up and walked opened the stairwell door before walking through and sitting down on a step, too dizzy to walk. "mm inside now but im dizzy, dont wanna move." I sighed out. "Thats okay, angel. Thank you for going in. Just go back to your place once you feel like you can walk again." He said. angel. I wanted to hold on to that for a moment longer but my head couldn't quite keep up. I hummed in response "You aren't gonna leave me right?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "Never. I'm right here always." He said. I nodded my head without speaking back.

We sat in silence together for awhile before I spoke up. "I think im ready to get up again." "Okay angel, take your time." I stood up slowly gripping the hand rail hard, managing my way down the steps and all the way to my front door. Once I got inside I went to my room and turned all the lights off. "Can you put some pajamas on? I know it was cold outside and I dont want you getting sick." he said "Mmm yeah" I took off my clothes and put on a hoodie and some basketball shorts before climbing into bed. "Can u stay on the phone until I fall asleep?" I asked quietly. "Of course, I'll be right here when you wake up too. I love you, angel. Sweet dreams." I nodded my head and let my eyes close, feeling myself drift off.
angel.....

THE END
Authors note:
Hi! Double upload woooo!! Anyways I hope that was alright, I didnt want to make it too sad and I figured they deserved a happy ending here. Please leave any suggestions or feedback! Im always happy to hear it. Love u all <3